Tuesday, March 4, 2008


Yesterday was an "A" game day. I looked amazing. I had on my cool jeans, my sexy bomber jacket--which I never wear because I prefer looking like a soccer mama rather than a Hot Mama (read sarcasm)...no seriously I never feel sexy enough these days to wear it. Yesterday I did. I had on a hot pink sweater, you know the soft cashmere kind. My hair---long long dread locs blowing about my face, light make-up, lipstick...confident.

After picking up the Beanie Beans I pull into the gas station (now I drive a white mini-van) nothing is sexy about a mini-van unless you are just well...crazy. I jump out in all my sexy confident swagger. And a Brother who I had a tryst with 100 years ago is there too. Now I knew this Brother well before I was married. He immediately steps to me and PULLS me close and PRESSES against me and kisses me in the spot between my ear and my cheek. Now this all takes about 5 seconds. If he were not holding me close I would have fainted. Oh my God it was so delicious. He then proceeds to tell me how fabulous I look and asks about my kids, the last time he saw me, I only had 2 and now I have 4. He tells me about the house he is renovating, the clients he is representing and that I often cross his mind...can you hear Brian McKnight in the background. What! Oh my. Then he rattles off his number.

OK, I am never calling this Brother, what we had was magical for the time in which we had it. But I am not interested in him...why, because although he is fine and we click, he is a lady-killer...code for Player Player and I am not getting caught up in that. However he made my day.

I get back in my min-van and of course the Spanish inquisition starts: Mommy who was that? do you know him? how do you know him? I said in a firm voice...I wasn't always a mother. Gasps! more gasps! That shut the questions down.

And I went back to remembering the PULL and PRESS. UM Um Um!

The Love List 16-20
  • 16. His friends and my friends are friendly. Must be willing to occasionally hang with my Homies/Sorors/Friends/Ride or Die Partners and vice-versa.
  • 17. Must be connected to family. Blood relatives or close friends who are family. Must Love Mama, Big Mama, Lil' Mama, Auntie Mama or some facsimile thereof.
  • 18. Appreciates individual time. His and mine.
  • 19. Honorable. No matter where he is in the world, no matter who he is with, his word and bond to me will not be compromised.
  • 20. Equitable with his scheduling. His activities and commitments must have the flexibility to include a love affair.


May-Bee said...

Wow, how odd. Last night, as it happens, I dreamed about someone I knew briefly (also kind of a player-type) between long-term relationships. Someone who I'd never call now, but dreaming about him was a sensory departure; a liberating experience. It has colored the way I feel today: Alive.

Shai said...

Great list. Is it OK if I copy your list for inspiration?

Piecake said...

What a great encounter! It's funny how he'll never know he made your day...although a lady-killer probably does know...oh, it doesn't matter.

Long before Oprah put it in her magazine, I made a love list and it worked for me. I'll wish you luck even though I know you don't need it!

Lovebabz said...

Hello Sisters!

May-bee, dreams are nicethat means you are moving forward and starting to see whole new world. Feeling ALIVE is Wonderful what we WANT is True Love!

Shai, you are welcomed to copy anything you want. I will be posting my lists everyday...the goal is to get to 100!

Hey Piecake! I am so impressed how so many people are leaps and bound over where I am developmentally! I think my list will bring all that I am asking for...and more! Stay tuned!

Becaro said...

Hi, Babz, Thanks for encouraging me to start blogging again. I have missed it. I love this entry. I love that you ran into him on a cute day, and I love that you know that the right guy for a self esteem boost is not neccasarily the the right guy for a relationship! Smart Girl!

Sister P said...

I often remember loves gone by in daydreams. But they usually look like hell when I run into them again. Glad yours took your breathe away :-)

Lovebabz said...

Well Hello Becaro! You were missed! Sister experience is by far the best teacher.

Sister P, yes, yesterday must have been layed out just for me. I loved it and needed it!

Mizrepresent said...

Oh how i love...the experience...the incident, lol!

Sharon said...

I know the feeling of this moment my sistah! The only thing better...is to have your ex witness one or a hunnerd of these such moments ;-) Eat your heart out!!! I know, I know...the two of you are trying to keep things nice and civil; but still....(LOL)!

The Artist In Me said...

Hey lovebabz! I definitely know what you mean by "sexy days". Sometimes you can look fly as all get out to others, but not feel confident within yourself to carry that off.

So kudos to you for having that day and making someone realize your worth at that moment. Growth too...knowing and realizing that you can appreciate an encounter of the sort, but know that player player will not be able to fulfill what you desire in a mate.

Be blessd!

Lovebabz said...

Hey Sisters!

Mizrepresent, Girl it wasjust what the Dr. ordered!

Sharon, you are a badd ass!

Dearest Artist in Me, yes, I know that feeling too when you are all glamed up but not feeling glamourous or sexy. But that day I was in my moment.

fireweaver said...

oh, congrats on the wonderful day! it's like the man said: "life isn't measured by the number of days we breathe, but by those moments that take our breath away."

and i'm REALLY seconding the 'has to be friendly with my friends' thing! you know your relationship just isn't going to fly if he's always harping on what a pain it is to have to put up with your friends...same as if you despise hanging out with those cave-trolls he calls buddies.

fireweaver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lovebabz said...


I am not suggesting that we spend evey waking momnet with each other's friends, but it does make life sweeter when we are all on the same page and connected.