I just grew into being resolved about not dating.
Not stressing about children.
Not worrying about what is next.
I am enjoying the sweet moments of now. Oh yes, there are long range plans and short term goals and changing course and new intentions and dream chasing.
Always dream chasing.
The aloneness is not vast and scary. It has a new definition... I can do what I want.
I am shedding shoulds and embracing maybes and yeses! Saying resolute no's when I feel like saying no. No second guessing and certainly no guilt. No is a complete sentence. And means the same in every language.
Everyday I ask...What is possible? And I set off running to find out.
The din of voices who are contrary to my dreams and wishes fall on my deaf ears. I can't hear them. I have a bigger voice and a stronger song. I am living loudly.
I used to listen to (hims, thems, theys, ya'lls) with a longing to be wanted... Configuring my heart and soul into their desired thing. Ha, how absurd was I? Atlas, I am so done with raking myself over the coals for my choices made in fear. Instead, I forgive myself and move on.
October is coming... For me, that loaded month of memory and new opportunities all rolled up with the crispness of the air signalling Fall.