Tuesday, January 25, 2011


I have decided to change my mind about being stuck.  Even though it may feel like I am, I am not.  I think being stuck is really cocooning and any minute a break through is going to happen.  This is how I am choosing to move forward.

I used to stay stuck on being stuck.  I used to think that the only way out is to wait.  Waiting is not the answer and yet it is the answer.  I can wait while doing...tending to my life.  Being stuck affords me the opportunity to attend to the places in my life that are causing me a bit of grief or unhappiness.  Being stuck isn't a license to whine, pout and do nothing.  Being stuck is perhaps the greatest opportunity to move in an ENTIRELY NEW DIRECTION... and really end the negative thoughts and drama that seem to keep you mired in mess.

Change my mind to change my life.  Stuck? Think again, I may just need to flip the script and move in an entirely new direction.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

This Time I'll Be Sweeter Angela Bofill

Yep, I am feeling just like this.... This time I'll be sweeter. It is amazing how clear we get when everything we ever wanted we destroyed and we are left rebuilding from the ground up. The hardest part about rebuilding a loveship is knowing that you were responsible for the damage in the first place. Yep, I am coming clean...oh not here. Where I should have been all along...

Thursday, January 13, 2011


My kids have been praying for a big snow storm (bigger than the one last week)... I on the other hand have been counter-praying for NO SNOW! Well apparently God liked their prayers better because we got 20 inches! UUUGGHHHH! Thanks Margeaux & Khalil.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Perhaps this post ought to be posted over at PCHATS...

I am a woman for making love round' midnight.  I love the wee hours of the night, well before daybreak.  I like the way the house is quiet and the only sound that can be heard is heaving breath and hushed whispers.

I love low sexy talk and witty banter and hands and legs entwined.  I love making love.

My libido has grown over the years.  My desires have become more acute.  I can't imagine not having a robust sex life now that I have rediscovered passion.  I love to have the back of my spine licked.  I love lots of pillows on my bed.  I love champagne and vegan chocolates and fresh cut flowers...roses, peonies, orchids.  I have discovered flame less candles...I can sleep by candlelight and not burn down my house.  I am a woman for mood. 

I love high thread count sheets washed and rinsed in lavender.  I love Oscar Peterson playing in the background. I am a woman for sights and sounds and taste and touch.

This isn't about being horny.  That I can take care of....  This is about romance and making love.  A wonderful day spent, a lovely evening lingering, a steamy night to get lost in.

It is fantasy and reality and drama and desire converging on the alter of my king-sized bed.  It is taking time again and again and again and again.  It is the long slow kiss.  The long slow caress.  The long slow stroke.

I am in the mood for romance and making love.  Not a quickie up against a wall or on a couch.  There is time and place for that.  I want want want want want deliberate, long playing, breath catching, earth moving, love making, complete with picnic in bed and love poems recited.

Perhaps this is my mood indigo.  Perhaps this is a prayer.  In any case it is now spoken into the universe with an expectation that someone will come bearing these gifts.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Ohio Players - Fire

Someone in the blogosphere got me thinking about Ohio... So naturally I think OHIO PLAYERS! Anyway this album cover was soooo provocative back in the day! SHOOT it's still provocative, hell all the Ohio Players album covers were wayyyy ahead of their time!

Thursday, January 6, 2011


 In thinking about where I am in my life---This is what I have learned: When someone criticizes you at every turn for everything you do, think, believe and feel...they are not talking to you or about you. Their drama is inner turmoil and unhappiness. You are reflecting back to them their lack of drive, determination and boldness. Pray for them, wish them well and keep your head up. This life ain't no dress rehearsal for a better one coming along. None of Us has time to waste pondering foolishness, let alone someone's warped opinion of what we ought to be doing in our lives.  Look at the source.  Is what they are saying working in their own lives.  That's always the truth serium.  Is the shit they talk... the shit they walk?

Yes there are folks who can criticise you, and in love you can hear what they have to say. You can listen with an open heart to those folks who have paid their dues to be in your company.  They have been with you in the trenches and low times.  They haven't just shown up for the good times and feel like they have the authority to berate you about the choices you've made.  No sir!  Back up! Hold UP! 

Every encounter, every interaction with another person, is designed to teach us something.  There is a lesson in every story.  Sometimes we have to go back to move forward.  Sometimes when we get what we asked for, we find out that's not what we need or want at all.  Sometimes, the drama is just what we need to click the light bulb on to tell us, you can and must do better than this mess. Turn around and move in an entirely new direction.

So thank you unfriend, for breaking my heart, trying to break my spirit, using my kindness against me, and allowing me to see fully and honestly that I am better than what you have to offer on your best day.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Bring on the salads, vegetables, fruit, hummus! I am all in!  Why? Why? Why?

Because my health is deteriorating.  I am not fit, healthy or well. I know I know I know, I have been lamenting this issue for as long as I have been blogging. I get motivated with a plan and then a few weeks in, something happens and I ditch.  Well this time I am staying....I am telling you I'm not going (cue Jennifer Hudson).  Now I am more than half-way there anyhow, I mean I don't and can't drink milk, butter, or cheese.  I have a severe intolerance to milk proteins---I mean SEVERE....FATAL!

I must admit I am also wanting to look HOT! I want to recapture my sex appeal (which of course starts in my head) nonetheless, I want to be svelte, I want to have sex in more positions (when you have a fat tummy you just have a tougher time having a partner on top---think beached whale) Anyway I am not being hard on myself, I standing in my reality.  I am fully in love with myself, but my health is not reflecting that love.

I just finished Dr. Joel Fuhrman's book Eat To Live.  I LOVE LOVE LOVED It!  It's packed with such good information and real truths about commitment and discipline and a serious forward by Mehmet C. Oz, M.D. aka Dr. Oz.  This may be tough for some people, but not for me.  My mind is clear and focused.  I gotta make some changes...not small baby-step changes...grand sweeping life changing changes.

It's 2011! I want to be more!  I want to do more!  I want to live more!