LOVING LO...OR KIDS CAN GET ON YOUR NERVES

Something happens to women who stay home to raise kids. They are isolated in ways that is not readily accessible to talk about. My Sister Lo is at home with two beautiful boys...who are driving her crazy. This is a woman who is college educated, ran programs across several states and yet feels totally alone in her day to day efforts in raising her kids. My heart is breaking. Because I know what that is like. I am in the same boat. Raising kids can be and often is a solitary existence, especially when you have a spouse who doesn't value the work that you do with the kids and the home. My Sister is the smartest woman I know, hands down. To hear her crying about her life is heartbreaking. What can I do other than offer words of encouragement and support. We are a few States apart. She is overwhelmed and I am overwhelmed. We both have memories of our mother holding it down with less...resources, education , friends. But yet she made a way out out of no way. For us this is our ideal and we often talk about how amazed we are that out mom was able to accomplish all that she did on so little. So here we are modern day Mommas and we find it not so easy. Not so easy at all. Why? Why is it so much harder for us, than out Mom? I am so overwhelmed by my Sister's grief that I feel helpless as to what to do to help her. And in my inability to help her, I am also helpless on my own front. We often hear about the joys and virtues of motherhood, but never the struggles and disenfranchisement of women and their struggles with measuring up. And even less as to what to do when motherhood is less than idyllic. I suspect there needs to be a real revolution of women in defining what motherhood means and how to best support each other as we walk the walk and talk the talk of being mommy. Otherwise the truth will come out and women everywhere will just stop...having babies, juggling careers, raising families, being something other than true to their feminine selves. But most importantly stop trying to live up to a standard that NO ONE could get to not even men on their worst day could aspire to. We have got to get better at supporting each other and stop this ridiculous war on stay-at-home Mom vs Moms-that work-outside the home. This is more political than anything I know of. Because if this is addressed everything else is a piece of cake.

"Myth of the Angry Black Woman"

I came across an article on the Modern Matriach blog/website (I couldn't link it here--sorry I know this sucks--but you can find it on the Blogher.com site under gender talk) that I thought was interesting. Of course I responded...no not as an angry Black Woman, although on occasion I have been just that. Anyway, I believe myself to be a feminist. I love women, I love being a woman, I think women are great and ought to be challenged and rewarded just like any other human being on the planet. What pains me is that, as a Black Woman, a Woman of Color if you will, is that I am not so certain our views are clearly portrayed. Here is my opinion to the article:
The Bridge between race and gender…Black Women. We are often made to choose between being Black and being Women. But the choice is only important if there is something at stake…Clinton vs. Obama in 08′. Or lest we forget that Black Women had hard choices to make in regards of the Black Panthers, this was a modern classic case of Black Women having to choose their Blackness over their Womanhood for the sake of the race. What would be most illuminating and ground-breaking if all those well-healed intellectuals/feminist and other pro-womanist
groups/organizations and or clubs, would simply ask Black Women
where they feel they fall in or out of this discussion. I say, as does Paula
Giddings…”When and Where I enter, so does the Race”
My point is I am always Black and I am always a woman. There is nothing mystical or magical about this. It just is and I like it. Sometimes I am angry at Black Men, Black Women, Black Children--Black People. And yet I love Black Me, Black Women, Black Children and my anger turns to care and concern. That's the part nobody talks about or shares. Our angry is not solely out of frustration of a system that done us wrong. Our anger is about caring so much and feeling powerless to overcome everyday, 24/7. Ok maybe this ought to be under my soapbox label for today's post.

Black Women:The Bridge Between Race and Gender

I love politics. I LOVE POLITICS. I know a lot of folks who hate it, but not me. I was elected to local office twice ( I resigned halfway through my second term--scandal). First off there is nothing more noble than serving in public office. Every decision I made as a legislator was personal. I took everything to heart. I cared about everything and I knew that just about every issue was connected to somebody. So with all that said, I am extremely delighted about the upcoming presidential race. I love Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. This poses a unique challenge for me. Because I am, after all an African American woman, a Black mother no less. What will I do. Hhmm...I do know I will wait and watch and listen. I wish I was more sophisticated in my approach and I wish I could discuss this with an intellectual passion. I just know how I feel and being an exiled politician I know better than to put all my eggs into one basket. My over arching question is this: Will Black women support a woman or will we support a Black man? There is a lot of time to speculate, poll and of course guess.