BlogHer Asks: Where Where You 10 Years Ago?

Blogher is asking their friends and supporters "Where Were You 10 Years Ago?" and since I am a huge fan of those groundbreaking founding Divas, I am going to answer.

In 2004 I was serving in my second term of office. I was still happily married. My son Gregory arrived! He was 5 years old. Life was good. Life was full of possibility and purpose.

Mind you, in less than 2 years later my life crashed and burned. Eh, that's 12 years ago!  10 years ago, my family added our 4th and last child, Gregory and that made 2004 AMAZING!

Faith Forward Friday: Managing My Disappointments....

His behavior of not seeing our kids is not a newsflash.  He has done this before.  Again this is not about him.  What I must do now is to begin the process of talking about disappointment with my kids.  They are of the age where I no longer can sprinkle fairy dust on their Father's behavior.  They have eyes and they are smart.  They are starting to see how things are.  What they do not have is a reference point for how to process what they see and how it makes them feel.  They also are not privy to the whole truth of things.  So I have to teach them about how to manage disappointment and still maintain love for the one who disappoints you.

This is my work to do in my spirit.  Manage my disappointment of my Ex as well as the overall disappointments of my life.  However way I handle this, it does  becomes the lessons I am teaching them. If I allow the disappointment to become larger than life in my everyday life, then they will internalize that and that will be the lessons I am teaching.  This is my teachable moment about truth, love and the reality of what I see  and experience on  top of what I feel.  I cannot allow them to be ruled solely by their emotions.  I cannot be solely ruled by my emotions. There has to be a balance and real truth telling that allows them and me to find that balance.  I do not mean the truth telling that requires me to tell them every bad thing about their Father... his actions alone will do that.  What I am talking about is the truth that we are all human, we all make mistakes and that we all benefit from undeserved grace.  There is no blame, there is only owning your own messes and doing the best you can to manage your life.  And I do mean manage your life and allowing for all the experiences that come with living... joy, pain, sorrow, happiness, love and disappointments and fears.

If I do not manage my disappointments right now and teach them to manage theirs, they will begin to look for their father in every relationship they have moving forward.  They will unconsciously try to fix in those coming relationships what is not theirs to fix.  They will play out this drama over and over again and not understand why they keep ending up in the place of lack and unhappiness.  I am not saying I can save them from unhappiness.  I can however model for them a behavior that they can absorb as a tool moving forward.  This thinking and action helps them manage their being in the world and not reacting to the world. It helps me become more the Grown Woman of my dreams.

THE GIFT OF 4 WOMEN...

All I ever wanted was to help them become who their supposed to be.  That is my mission, my charge, my blessing.  God picked me to be their mother.  For whatever reasons they found me and latched on.  They have saved my life over these 10 years.  They have given me a purpose like that of Mary.  It is awesome and grand and breath-taking.

Each one came with their own story.  Their own tale of woe and struggle and yet here they stand thriving and blossoming and happy.  They make me happier than I have ever been in my entire life.  These four patch-work orphans who are orphans no more.  I wonder what do they remember from before.  I wonder if they ever wonder about the time before this time.

I think of the women who bore them and left them, released them, walked away, had them taken away for their own good.  Imagine the kind of pain that pushes you to let go of your children.  I am not judging them.  I remain forever grateful for they have given me a gift that only God fully understands.  I am not better than them.  Yes they have their stories of abuse, drugs, addiction.  I am not better than them, nor will I ever be.  I remain in awe of their pain and struggle.  I know something about pain, struggle and redemption.

I pray that they believe their children are well.  I pray they know that God has not forsaken them.  I pray a mother's prayer of connection, reverence and peace.

I am a mother.  I am a mother because 4 other women made it so.  Four gifts from four different, unrelated women who have me in common and they will never know that.  Our path have crossed as I stood at the gates of heaven and received their blessed gifts.  There is nothing more divine or sacred....

...The gift of 4 women.

LIGHTS POWER ACTION!

I am so grateful that the power is back on. Storm Irene raged through Connecticut and knocked out power for days!  Uugghhh! I was prepared and the kids saw it as an adventure.  But by Day 2 we were were all starting to wear thin.  By Day 4 we were at our wits end.  However the greatest gift and there was one or two, was as the night begin to fall, we'd gather in the living room or den and sit and talk and laugh.  It was delightful. 

It was a joy to sit and read by lantern.  The kids were into it in a way that I was surprised by.  I mean I make them read all the time, but they seemed to look forward to their dedicated book time and I actually heard them discussing with each other where they were in their stories. 

I am not interested in another hurricane coming through and losing power.  But I am happy for this sacred time and I have lighter heart because of it.

UP DOWN UP DOWN AND UP AND DOWN AGAIN AND UP

There are days when I am running around in circles.  Like yesterday shuttling kids to various points between here and there, I felt like I was driving for 10,0000000 hours!  I was exhausted at the end of the day.  So here I am up and running again. It's a new day.  Today is not a circle day, today is a square kinda day.  I have a bit more room in my day to tackle Babz stuff.

Up down up down and up and down again and up.  This is my life.  Glorious in its totality.  Exhausting in the blow away moments when I am not present or too present and I am whining about the smallest of smallest shit.  When the kids are like a rash, making me itch by the sound of their voices.  This is the being down part.  This is the stuff that makes you yell at them at the top of your lungs and they look at you with annoyance... dear God Mommy is having ANOTHER meltdown.

Working at the computer while they...my cherubs are in the den watching mindless TV, every so often I hear their laughter in unison...they all find something funny? Imagine that.  I take it all in and my heart feels like its going to jump wide open.  This is that mommy moment of pure love and delight in my kids. This is the UP part.

Mr. Beloved and I are at odds.  We don't seem to speak the same language or hear each other.  It's like he's across the world and we're talking with tin cans and strings. This is the down part.

He comes back around with a different strategy, one that comes with an olive branch and hugs and more hugs and kisses. This is the Up again part.

This is how life is.  You coast along for a bit and then a bump, or a hiccup, or miscommunication. I fall up and fall down.  I love as best as I can hoping that Mr. Beloved has the strength to endure and hang on for both of us.  I cherish my kids, they have saved my life in ways they will never know.  This is a lot of love I have around me.  It's big, complicated and messy and joyous. There is nothing more divine than right now. I feel fearless.  It's been a long time since I felt this moment of gratitude.  I feel so possible and that's the UP part again.

SNOW 2011....THEY LOVE IT!

My kids have been praying for a big snow storm (bigger than the one last week)... I on the other hand have been counter-praying for NO SNOW! Well apparently God liked their prayers better because we got 20 inches! UUUGGHHHH! Thanks Margeaux & Khalil.

13

She thinks she knows all there is to know about the world.  She thinks she has a clue about how to be a woman.  My daughter broke some rules her father and I put in place. Serious rules.  Rules about no dating at 13.  She weaved an elaborate lie to see "him" a 14 year old boy smitten with my daughter.  We tracked their conversation on Facebook.  Nothing outrageous or seedy.  Just little references to trying to meet up behind parental vision.  Her father monitored her Facebook page and still she managed to slip our watchful eyes. 

He showed up to my house and walked himself into my backyard unannounced and began playing basketball. I respectfully told the young man in question: "She is only 13 and is not allowed to date. I don't know anything about you, or your people. I don't know where you live, or anything  and I am sure you are a lovely young man, but the fact remains, she broke the rules. You are not to contact her again"
He was very polite and nodded yes and left.  The young man returned with his oldest Sister in tow. Wanting to introduce me to his people.  I was impressed that he heard me and wanted to act on my concerns.  I gave his Sister the same speech I gave him, adding for her benefit the fact that my daughter lied to me about knowing this young man.

Her father and I were furious with her.  He came right over after work to deal with her.  Three hours later, we emerged still angry but united in doling out a harsh and strict punishment.  There is more to this story...lots!  But most importantly this post is about what I must do and how I must move forward.

I have to build her back up now.  I have to help her save herself.  This is my teacheable moment where I stand fully in the Mom space and guide this child on rough waters.  She needs me. She needs me to parent her. Not to be her friend, and cuddle her with "baby it will be alright". I must give her tools to conduct herself.  This is the beginning of her learning to walk in truth.  This is one of many defining moments in her life.  What's key here, is whatever foundation we lay for her now will be what she draws from later in her life.

I am in prayer as I move forward drawing on all that I know to do to grow her.  I am not afraid for her.  I will not fail her.  I know what is needed and I am up for the task.  There is so much out there for young girls to fall prey to.  I must continue to wedge myself between the world and this home.  I have support.  She is loved. I am loved.  In the next few days I will lay out my plan, and perhaps this plan will be of some help to someone else with a teenage child who is being seduced too soon by the world.

SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY

I am cleaning and listening to my favorite music at FULL BLAST! I am a nester. I am a home body. I love tinkering about the house working on things. Today is perfect for that.

I am wearing my favorite brim...yes my summer brim...it was on the hall tree and will go upstairs to the closet until next summer...however in the meantime, I am wearing it because I look HOT in it!

I am doing major cleaning and rearranging as I turn my attention toward the holidays. First up Thanksgiving! I pulled out the "real" silver to polish--will do that later. Of course I will use my china from my Mother and pull out all my fabulous glasses. I love getting ready for the holidays!

I love not having any place to be today except home. The children are cleaning their rooms and playing. Occasionally I have to referee a spat or soothe hurt feelings, but for the most part they are a fine tuned team. I can hear them in their conversations and whispers and giggles.

Having 4 children is delightful. They are never with out company. And I am never without lots of children. Who needs a date when I have all this love and contentment around.

FARM PHOTOS...

MOMMY HOW CAN WE HELP HUNGRY PEOPLE?

We are off to Massachusetts today to spend time at Overlook Farm. This farm is run by Heifer International, whose mission is to end world hunger.

My children and members of their Sunday school class raised money all year long to donate. We are going today to hand over the money and spend some time on the farm!

My children were so dedicated to this cause that they gave up their allowance for several months to support this commitment. I did not ask them. As a matter of fact I suggested perhaps they could give up a percentage. They said no, Mommy we have to make sure hungry people get food. I couldn't be more proud of them. I want them to care about the world and to believe they can make a positive difference in it. They are.

Of course I will take pictures!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREGORY...CELEBRATING 10!

My beautiful son turned 10 today! He was waiting for 10 for a long time. He believes it is the beginning of magical times ahead. I have to agree!

Gregory arrived when he 5 years old. That is an undesirable age for a kid waiting to be adopted. No one wants a kid older than 3. Most folks feel that any child over 3 will be a problem. They would be right. And so what. Yes Gregory has a lot of issues and we are managing them as they arise. His issues have nothing to do with him deserving and needing a loving caring family. I love him with all his issues. I love him because he has a fighting spirit and a will to get to the next day. He is my son and he deserves a mother's love.

His gift was a brand new bike. As a matter of fact I got all 4 kids new bikes. Now so many didn't see the logic in this. As if giving them all a bike takes away the specialness of the day. Well a candle is not diminished when it lights another candle. My other 3 children could happily celebrate Gregory's birthday with him. I could not just get him a bike while the others just look on. So I got them all bikes! Now this is not he norm. But this gift was a big deal and it warranted a big effort.

I want for my son to grow up knowing that there are folks in the world that care about his happiness, his well being and his spirit. I want my son to continue on the path of being a loving, kind and gentle soul. He is smart and funny and silly. He is a strong child. Stronger than he ought to be at that age. He has seen too much, experienced too much before he arrived home. It's been five years since his arrival and I have seen the grand sweeping changes. I see the anger subsiding. I see the fear diminishing. He is trusting me. He is trusting the community I built to support him. I cannot imagine my life without him.

Happy Birthday dearest Gregory! You are so beautiful to me!

TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: MOTHERHOOD THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS

I knew early on that I could not bear children; the abuse that I suffered as a child shattered my uterus. So I never really imagined myself with children. I did hope that if I did get married I would marry a man with children. Well I did get married and he had one daughter from his first marriage. I thought this was a great blessing. I could be a wonderful stepmother. I was a thoughtful, caring step-mother...if only she had better biological parents...LOL!

When we thought I was pregnant and found out that I was not, we were profoundly sad. So sad that we began thinking that children might be in our future. I starting jumping through infertility hoops. I mean so much time had passed since the orginal prognosis of infertility. I was no longer a kid. Medical technology had come a long way. Maybe. I had two surgeries to try to repair the uterus. I had tumors removed. I did the shots. I did the turkey baster and the sperm. You name it we did it. At the same time my husband(soon-to-be EX) suggested we look at adoption. The minute he said it, it was like the universe just opened up. The One Church One Child program was looking to recruit African-American families to adopt African-American children. We completed the course and became certified parents. Within weeks we started looking at children. Our first daughter arrived when she just turned 3 years old, Briana Lorraine (Lorraine is my Sister's name). We lavished her with all our love for 2 years before Margeaux arrived. Before Margeaux arrived I went to see another infertility specialist, who gave me a 2% chance of getting pregnant. We tried it all again. Finally I said enough. I dropped the remaining infertility drugs off to my Doctor to donate. By the time I got home that afternoon, we got a call about a newborn....we named her Margeaux Helena, after my Mom and my mother-in-law.

Next came Khalil Ross...named after his Father...my ex--it is his Muslim name and his English middle name, then Gregory Lockhart...Lockhart is my brother's middle name--one that is traced back to the time of slavery through our father and grand-father and great-grandfather and so on. Each child has their own story of abuse and abandonment. Stories that no child should have to experience.

It has been a joy that cannot be put into words. It is love that I have longed to have. I have found myself in these 4 children. They have saved my life and given me purpose and a fearlessness that I did not have before. I wanted more children. But that dream is quickly fading. I could if I had the means, adopt a couple more children (smile). Every child ought to have a decent and loving home. Every child needs to be loved and protected and cared about. This is my greatest success...providing a safe, and happy environment where they are loved and cared for all the time.

Don't get me wrong everyday is not a picnic. I scream and yell and may say a bad word or two, but at the end of the day I am their mother and they are my children and nothing and no one will harm them while I have breathe in my body. I know when I climb those stairs at night and peek in on each one, tucking covers, picking teddy bears and dolls up, moving books out beds and kissing foreheads, I know that whatever I have done and will do in my life will pale in comparison to raising these 4 amazing children.

So tomorrow I will finish up talking about some of my successes in my life. The effects of doing this is beginning to get me to think differently about who I am. That is a very good thing.

IN FINE COMPANY: THE BLOGHER INTERVIEW

BlogHer Contributing Editor and Sister blogger Nordette interviewed me for an article "Baby and Me Behind Bars: Number of Moms In Prison Grows" she penned for BlogHer. It is about Mothers in prison raising children. It is an amazing piece of writing and I am so way over the moon with honor that she wanted my opinion on this subject.

Take a read and comment there and here. Also if you are in the mood for some fine writing check Nordette at her blog Whose Shoes Are These Anyway?

SHE'S 5 GOING ON 20...A REPOST

The cool thing about having a year's worth of posts is that you can go back and revisit them.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

SHE'S 5 GOING ON 20
This morning my 5 year old daughter was in the shower--she loves taking showers, anyway as I am washing her she asks if she can wash herself with her Boots scrubby--Boots is the best friend of Dora the Explorer. I let her, and she does a great job! I am so proud and so sad, because I am realizing she is growing up and learning to become quite the independent child. She gets out of the shower and wants to dry herself off. I let her and she does a great job, I am impressed.

It seems so long ago she was this tiny little baby that was placed in my arms. All my children are adopted, she was the only one that arrived as a newborn, 2 weeks old and just barely 5 lbs. This child wasn't supposed to live, as a matter of fact they--the Dept of Children and Families was expecting her to die. But she didn't. The foster home she was in was only temporary they couldn't take another child but did so for this baby. When we got the call we had to say yes immediately. I remember the day they brought her home, she was buried in a pink one piece that was 3-4 months too big. All those memories came rushing back as she is standing there in the bathroom telling me she can do things all by herself. Of course I am happy that she is becoming more and more self-sufficient, however there is a part of me that is missing that beautiful baby that so desperately needed me.

This is the joy of motherhood growing them and letting them go out into the world. Yes of course, I have time before they're off to college, but still I can only imagine how painful that will be. So today I am in awe of my beautiful 5 year pressing me for her independence. Tomorrow it will be something else, perhaps permission to ride her bike past the Jackson's house or staying up an extra 15 minutes past bedtime and I will weigh my decision carefully.

I swear motherhood is fleeting, if you blink you miss it.

FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: SWIM LESSONS AS A METAPHOR FOR LIFE...A REPOST

Thought I would revisit a post from last year.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
SWIM LESSONS AS A METAPHOR FOR LIFE

Wednesday the children have swim lessons, my oldest daughter swims from 9:00am to 9:30 and the remaining 3 swim from 9:30 to 10:00am. Watching this morning I began to see how their lives are a lot like swimming. They have to trust and have faith in their instructor, but first they have to be willing to trust that faith. They have to get in the water and follow directions...on faith.

This is pretty amazing. I see the fear in their eyes as they struggle to float and kick and there's nothing I can do except sit and silently pray they learn to swim. They are learning, I see the progress. The water is becoming less and less of a threat and more and more a partner. They are happy when they do as instructed and determined to do better when they can't quite get the coordination right. I am impressed with them conquering their fears. I want them to be fearless and to never give up even if they are a bit afraid.

So as they are learning to swim...so am I. We are all learning to be brave and walk, or rather swim out on faith. And the best part is that while they are in the water, they are doing what they thought they couldn't do. That is the gift--you are already in the water...now swim! And swim we do!

I LEFT MY HEART IN...

Tomorrow I am off to the Blogher Conference in San Francisco . This is remarkable on so many levels. For one, last year this time I was waiting on sentencing. My attorney thought perhaps I would have to do 6-9 months in federal prison. The maximum sentence was 14 months. Needless to say I was overwhelmed. I am still not ready to talk about what that meant and how I felt. The thing that is remarkable to me is that I remember stumbling upon Blogher.com. I joined just as they were announcing their conference in Chicago. I said to myself I can't go this year...but next year I will be there. I knew I was going even before the sentencing. Here it is next year and I am going! I am going because I fixed my mind to go. I was sentenced to 30 days. I served 29 days in a federal prison camp. I did it with as much grace and dignity as I could.

It is amazing getting ready to travel and pack and coordinate the care of my children because last year it was a different kind of preparation. Last year I did not let myself get caught up in leaving my children. I went about the business of creating a seamless plan for their day-to-day experience. They would not miss out on anything because I wasn't there. I made arrangements for every aspect of their lives, I left instructions for everyone, even the back-up plan had a back-up plan. This plan for this trip is different, I will be back in a few days. This is joyous and exciting! My "True Love" friends are making this trip possible. And I am speaking at the conference too so that was a huge blessing and relief in expenses.

I am however a bit nervous about leaving my children. They are feeling a bit anxious about me leaving...they remember last year. I remember last year...we all remember last year. I almost don't want to go because I don't want them afraid. But I must go because I don't want them afraid. They have to see me come and go and come and go. I am anxious and trying to hold it all together. See this is where good sex could help in this...LOL! I could relax and all the tension could be worked out...but I digress.

I am getting ready, doing my last minute what-nots. This is an incredible time in my big life. I am in awe of the power of love. I am in awe of the power of community and I am in awe of the power of friendship and LOVE.

CAMPING FUN...A GOOD TIME HAD BY ALL!

Camping with my kids was the best fun EVER! My kids were so happy and so silly and so into it! They were not ready to go home. However I was...sleeping on the ground even with padding is not my idea of a good time. I did like being in the tent though. It rained...poured for 2 nights. It was a bit daunting in the morning but we trooped it. We fired up the griddle for waffles every morning with scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. We reserved a campsite with electricity and water. Yes with 5 kids we weren't trying to rough it....survival camping is not recreation! LOL!

By the afternoon the sun peeked out. The campground was designed with children in mind. Several playgrounds, activities and a pool! Yep, it was good time indeed! S'mores, hot dogs, burgers, snacks and bubbles were a big hit!

My Sister-friend JB and I were quite pleased with our camping efforts! Quite pleased indeed!

TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: PARENTING IS LOVE IN ACTION

My Crush believes that there is a standard to parenting. That any parent regardless of ability and capacity to parent knows there is a standard and should rise to the occasion of good parenting because they are parents. He is right and wrong. Just because someone births a child doesn't make them a parent. And just because someone says they love you to a child doesn't mean that it's true. Not if you believe love is a verb.

I believe parenting is a choice. It is commitment to children in the highest order. It is a selfless act of love. My soon-to-be Ex husband doesn't get that concept of parenting...selfless acts of love. I have no doubt that he loves his children. But I am baffled how he can dole out his time with them. He tries to see them everyday. I say tries because some days he has other things going on. Or he has plans or he is working overtime, or he is tired, or he has to do laundry, or he has to do...whatever. But I say so what! These beautiful children will only be children for a bit longer and he will miss all their best moments.

Once Margeaux was really sick. She started throwing up blood at around 2:00 am in the morning. My Ex was not home, he didn't come home, he didn't call. I called our pediatrician who said get her to the emergency room---we have a children's emergency room here. I called my Ex-I paged, I beeped...no answer. I get ALL the children up at 2:30 am in the dead of Winter and take them all with me to the ER. I get my Brother at 6:00 am who rushes to the hospital. He then goes back to our house and My Ex is there laying the bed. My Brother maintained his composure as he tells my Ex that we are all at the ER. When my Ex arrives at 8:30 am, he says to me : I got your messages. I said well when you came home and didn't see your family didn't you think this was serious. He said: I thought you were using the children to hurt me. WTF! I thought I was going to faint. I said what in my character, our history and my life, would make you even think that I would use my children to hurt you. How do you get there with that? He apologized. But so what? He thought that about me. And I swear it still hurts. IT STILL HURTS!

In that moment I realized what I was dealing with. A person with a small spirit who never knew me as a woman or as a parent. There is no convincing in love.

What I know is this: Raising children and loving children and caring about children is not a part-time deal. It is not when you feel like it, it is not when you have time. It is not when you feel good. It is not when you get yourself together, it is not when you have more money. It is not when you get your education finished, it is not when you get back from finding out who you are.

I am a PARENT. Parenting is LOVE in action. All day. Everyday. No Exceptions. No Excuses.

1000 Things I want to Do Before I Die:
11. Drink Beer in Belgium
12. Sail on the Nile in Egypt
13. See Victoria Falls in Zambia
14. Ski in Aspen, CO.
15. Pray at Goree Island.

MOTHER ENCHANTED: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Adopting children is one of the greatest joys ever known. It is a miracle. It is God's handiwork up close. However there are challenges. Adopted children come with this sense of not belonging anywhere. A sense of not being wanted. That is their truth at their core, someone...a Mother did not want them, for whatever reasons. So I decided to create for them their own divine, mystical story of being purposely chosen to be my children. It is our own enchanted story:

Margeaux: So you wished for 4 children?
Me/Mom: Yes.
Khalil: How did you know you wanted to wish for 4 children?
Me/Mom: On a night when the moon was its fullest, I went outside to say my prayers to God. I said God I know there must be beautiful children who need me. Send them.
Briana: You went outside in the moonlight, is that how you learned that poem? And you taught it to us?
Me/Mom: Well, I learned the poem many years ago, but had forgotten it until that night. When I prayed and wished and hoped for you. And yes everyone should know at least one moon poem (smile).
Gregory: So how did you know 4 was a good number to wish for?
Me/Mom: I didn't know at first. God put that number in my heart. But I didn't know that until the very last child arrived...you.
Margeaux: Are you happy you got your wish?
Me/Mom: I am beyond happy. God chose me to be your Mother. You chose me to be your Mother. I chose to be your Mother. Some Mothers can't be mothers. They are not able to take care of children, so they depend on other Mothers to raise them and love them. I am your Mother, you were born in my heart. I will always be grateful to the women who gave birth to you because they trusted me to love you in their stead.
Margeaux: What does stead mean?
Me/Mom: It means in their place.

At this point of our enchanted story they begin reciting how they came one by one with their own story and it always ends with and God sent us home to be with our Mother who wished and prayed for Us 4 under a full moon one night long ago...

I see the moon

the moon sees me

God Bless the moon

and

God bless me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHALIL!

Today Khalil turned 7! He is so excited. He got up singing Happy Birthday to himself. I am making his favorite dinner, collard greens, 0ven-fried chicken, rice and peas. Our tradition for the children is to let them bake their own birthday cake with proper supervision of course. This year Khalil wants a red cake with red frosting--I think it has a lot to do with Power Rangers. Last year it was a blue cake with blue frosting...the Blues Clues phase. I have said no to black cake and black frosting unless of course it's Halloween and even then I am not so sure. Anyway they love this tradition. We did store bought cakes last year, because I had a lot going on and couldn't focus. They all let me know they did not like that and have reminded me everyday since that they wanted to go back to making their cakes! OK fine with me I love traditions!

My son is beautiful. He is resilient, smart, kind, funny and BEAUTIFUL!