Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I am becoming more mindful of how I am living in my everyday life.  I do not want to be one of those people waiting until everything is going right to enjoy life.  I don't want to put off simple pleasures because I don't have enough money...or what I think is not enough money.  I will not be 50 pounds lighter tomorrow.  I will not be a millionaire tomorrow (unless I win the lottery).  None of those things are required to live my life abundantly. I do not have to put off happiness in the midst of challenges.  I do not have to forgo happiness and joy and good times because my house is messy, or there are a few dishes in the sink, or my laundry needs to be done.  All those things will be done, and in a rather timely manner.  But none of those chores are reason to not celebrate my life.  None of those things present a sense of urgency that will destroy my well being.

We do too much putting our lives on hold for weight loss, money, love, the right opportunity.  The right opportunity is when you decide to make a move in any direction.  Life is not just about enduring or going along until the real love, or better job, a windfall happens.  It is embracing this moment right now.  It is dancing right now when the music plays.  It is making love even though you have laundry to fold.  It is enjoying a glass of champagne when you just lost your job.  I am not suggesting that we live a fantasy.  I am coming to the realization that life is SHORT.  Too short for rules and regulations on how to be.  Just be.  The Golden Rule is the only rule that applies: Treat others as you would have others treat you.  Everything else just supports that.

We put off too much of our lives in search of the better time ahead.  We forgo this moment for the expectation of more joy in the next. The reality is the next is not promised to you or me.  The only breath we can depend on is the one we are taking right now.  Why aren't we doing more to live more fully, to love more deeply.

I am challenging myself from this day forward that in the next 100 days I am going to live more fully, vibrantly and joyfully.  No matter what happens, or what challenges present themselves I am going to enjoy this life.

Join me in the 100 days challenge.  Every day start with a cleansing breath as prayer, say a prayer if it moves you.  Eat mindfully. Enjoy your own company.  Love those in your circle and tell them.  Write to someone. Tell a joke. Look for the best in everyone. Be kind. Start and keep a gratitude journal---each day write down at least 3 things you are grateful for that day. Enjoy a glass of water---at least 8 times a day.  Take a walk around your neighborhood, or downtown. Get to bed early, try to give yourself 8 hours of good sleep. and smile.  Let me know if your in.  Let me know how you are doing. I will post a little something at least twice a week on the challenge. Feel free to add and share your own ways to live more fully.

Be well.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...Matthew 6:21

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life....Proverbs 4:23

I am meditating on theses scriptures.  I am looking at my life and inventorying my treasure(s).  Not just the tangible things, but the things that make my heart glad.  I am thinking about the next 100 days that will bring me fully into the New Year.  Where am I in my goals for myself.  Where am I in creating the life of my dreams.  These are days where dreams are at a premium and everyone is up against it.  Is dreaming a luxury?  And dare I open my heart to love more fully?

YES! Scripture calls me to do just that...dream...dream more fully.  Love more fully!  I am taking my cues from the turning of the season, the leaves are starting to fall  and the air is crisp.  The season of magic, blessing and good tidings will soon be here.  I am ready and I rooted in the right now.  I can be hopeful for the coming season and I can stand in this moment  wrapped in all my blessings.

Love is all around.  I can feel it.  I am giving it. I am discovering my treasure, my heart is full and Autumn is here!

Sunday, September 19, 2010


At some point you have to say enough already. You have to know your pain threshold.  We are not for each other.  Not because we didn't try, but because we tried too much.  Forcing a loveship that should have only been a summer fling last year.  Here I am, wanting you to leave, move out, break up, break off, leave.  This begins the season of mean when breaking up is hard to do.  I wish you well.  I wish you all the best.  I wish you love.

I wish you would leave and take a slow boat to China and not call me, or send me a post card, or even whisper my name.   It is quite startling when you realize you've been taken advantage of.  When you have given more than you ever received.  And you did not give so much because you wanted to receive anything at all.  But the taking was so consistent and relentless that you just gave out of habit.  We all judge people that's how we keep some mess out of our lives.  We judge people on various things to help us decide if their being in our lives could be worth the effort.  Sometimes we are successful and sometimes we are fooled, tricked and blinded.  In  my case I was blinded by history and potential.  I saw him as he was, and hoped he would become something more. 

He hasn't been here for two nights and it's been so peaceful.  I like having my home to myself without someone under foot with a critical eye and a disapproving voice.  I must say I had a good run with him, but it has lasted too long.  The time has come to part company and get on down the road of our respective paths.

I am not unhappy or sad by any of this.  I have learned that regret is wasted energy.  To be in the company of someone who you know you will not make a life with is wasted energy.  I am going in peace.  I remain a hopeless romantic, always believing that true love dwells within.  Always knowing that what I am seeking is also seeking me. How divine.

This is goodbye Mr. Love... for real, for real!  There is nothing left to say except I wish you well, be safe, find joy and take care.

Monday, September 13, 2010

KING OF ANYTHING....Sara Bareilles

I am so loving this song! Pumping beat! Strong lyrics and just what I want to say!

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
Sara Bareilles King Of Anything lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/sara-bareilles-king-of-anything-lyrics.html
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Little Big Town - Bring It On Home

I love this song. It speaks to Mr. Love and his steadfast resolve in standing with me. I have not been an easy woman. I love that Man. I need to let him know that. He has said these very words to me that are in this song. Maybe that's why I love it. I can hear him so clearly and lovingly.

You got someone here wants to make it alright
Someone who loves you more than life right here
You got willing arms that'll hold you tight
A hand to lead you on through the night right here
I know your heart can get all tangled up inside
But don't you keep it to yourself

When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
The weight of the world is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me

You know I know you like the back of my hand
But did you know I'm gonna do all that I can right here
I'm gonna lie with you till you fall asleep
When the morning comes I'm still gonna be right here (yes I am)
So take your worries and just drop them at the door
Baby leave it all behind


Baby let me be your safe harbor
Don't let the water come and carry you away


You got someone here wants to make it alright
Someone who loves you more than life right here

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


I am done waiting for Monday, love, better weather, more time, slimmer me, happier me.  I am always waiting.  When did I become a person to wait on anything?  I think this is another definition of being stuck.  And being lazy.  Yes I said it, LAZY!  I know what needs to be done, but I spend an exorbitant amount of time talking myself out of stuff, and I don't mean silly things, I mean things that could make my life better, happier, more joyous!  I decide to get up to work out at sunrise, when the day breaks I start back peddling, "Oh I can get my work out in later" or "gosh, I got to bed so late I am tired".  Who am I waiting for?  Seriously.  On paper it looks like a crock of shit.  In my head it seems reasonable and believable.  I am my own problem.  Seriously.  I say I want to do XYZ and then I just do nothing to accomplish XYZ.  Again, what am I waiting for?  Who am I waiting for?

The thing to do, is TO DO... Right NOW!  Too much intellectualizing.  Too much trying to organize it in my head.  Too much talking about what I am going to do and not enough of me doing anything!  If I want to change this body, then I have to get off my ass and move it.  If I want a lucrative business than I gotta light the fire myself and get to burning energy!  If I want to be in love than I gotta be in love.  It's all on me to bust a move in any direction.  In any direction forward is a good move.  And if it isn't I can move some more...in an entirely new direction (END).

The magic dwells within.  The saviour dwells within.  Love dwells within. 

This is my last day of waiting for someone other than myself to do my work.