Wednesday, May 27, 2015

I'M SPEAKING AT #BLOGHER 15: EXPERTS AMONG US


I am THRILLED to be speaking at #BlogHer15: Experts Among Us

Event Date: 
July 18, 2015 - 10:30am - 11:45am
Conference Day: 
Day 2
Conference: 
#BlogHer15: Experts Among Us
Conference Track: 
Online Life and Culture
When You’re “Too Much” for Your Audience, Be It Your Profanity, Politics, or…
Speakers:
Sarah Ann Gilbert, Author
Thien-Kim Lam, I'm Not the Nanny
Babz Rawls Ivy, Lovebabz LLC
Contact me for friend and family discount! Would love to see you there!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

I do not Live In a Love Desert

I learned a big lesson over the last 48 hours. Those that believe there is not enough love for them will always try to drain you dry of your kindness and humanity.. I see where the lack shows up in people... I can see their fears taking over and they seem helpless in their ability to stop it.

There is enough love for all. There is enough love that we can give and receive to each other several times over.

I do not live in a love desert. I believe that love is boundless. I believe love transcends the ordinary and yet dwells in the ordinary.

I do not know of any way to be except to be in love. This is my deliberate choice. This is what makes me happy. When you are invited into my circle, it is done because I have fallen in love with you... Your spirit... Your energy.Your being speaks to all that is in me. It connects to all the good in me. Love is transforming and healing and liberating.

What I do not have the time for is drama... or the constant debating of what is lacking in any given situation in somebody's life. I cannot be the bearer of all that is lacking and broken in any one's life.

I do not live in a love desert. I live in a love oasis. I live in a love oasis. I live in a love oasis.

I have no problem dwelling on my own. The love I seek is seeking me. There is no rush. There is no desperation. I am the love I seek. I am the love of my life.

I do not live in a love desert. I do however live in a love oasis.




Thursday, May 14, 2015

Babz Showing Up As Babz

I never thought I wouldn't find love again. I never paid attention to all the talk around Black women and dating and finding marriageable Black men. I never had any qualms dating men from other ethnicity's. I have been open to love all along...sometimes to my detriment. As I look back I have always been open to love. What I haven't been was myself. What I have done was try to become something someone else wanted and needed with the hopes that some of what I wanted and needed would be met. I was WRONG! Oh so painfully wrong.

So I am showing up as myself. No sugar-coated version of me. No smoke, no mirrors. It's all coming forward with the light of day. I can't hide shit. I won't. This is who I am!

My name is Babz Rawls Ivy, I am 5'8', 264 lbs 268 lbs and I may never get to anything smaller. I have 4 kids I adopted. I am a felon. I hold a BS in Marketing. I have an MPA. I am a certified Spiritual Director. I have an impressive resume filled with community service. I have FOUR children who I happily raise. I am friends with my ex-husband and adore his new wife. I belong to a Sorority. I work as an Editor-in-chief for a Black newspaper. I drink... champagne, scotch, vodka, rum, wine, beer...Not all at once, but I drink. I like an occasional cigar... maybe every couple of years... certainly not often or on a regular basis. I like sports. I love live music. Jazz. Old school R&B. I'm a bit junky. I hate throwing things away.

My crazy is manageable. I am never going to check your cellphone, or follow you or wrangle my hands about who else you might be fucking. I will believe you until I don't. I cannot stand constant conversations about "this relationship". I like and need and want a LOT OF SEX. I like my own time alone without you.  I can't fuck with you if you don't read books. I can't fuck with you if you don't like good movies and by good movies I mean classic shit. I am not going to have petty arguments with you about which direction the toilet paper ought to roll. I am not going to be your mother. I am not going to handle your life. I am not going to tell you what to do.

I cuss. A lot. Not in public though and rarely around little kids. I believe in God. I have a strong religious foundation. You gotta have one too... believe in something other than your own bullshit.

I am without a doubt a loyal woman. I am fun. I am a great conversationalist. I can hang with just about anyone. I can go to any party and make myself at home. I have strong political views... very fucking liberal political views. I am an advocate for human rights, women and girls rights.

I am loud. I laugh loud. I am known to talk loud.

Babz is showing up as Babz forever more. At this point in my life authenticity is the new sexy. What I know for sure is that I am a particular kind of baddass woman who will only truly appeal to a particular baddass man. One who is sure of himself, manages his own life and shows up equally authentic. Someone who doesn't bring me their shit to solve, or their bills to handle, or their insecurities for me to magically resolve. Oh and has NO fucking baby-mama or ex-wife drama... keep that madness away from me.

From here on out I am showing up as me. That's it.

















Saturday, May 2, 2015

Happy Birthday To Me!

It's my 52nd Birthday!
I love the woman I am becoming!
I am enjoying this life... My life. I am glorious in my appreciation of my breath. I am in love with myself. All that I want I have at my core. I'm moving at a speed that suits me.
My opinion matters to me.
I am a Grown Woman happy. Whole. Beautiful.


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

My Hands Are Open

So someone introduced me to a man. A man they thought would be of support to my spirit.
Of course I was wrangling my hands about the introduction... especially since the person doing the introduction does not know me really. Does not know me at all. But yes, was very insistent about making this introduction. It was quite intense and direct and forceful, as though they didn't want me to miss out.

But that is how God works.

So I connect with this man and God only knows why lightening strikes. I notice right away he is every long held dream... Every spoken and unspoken desire. He possesses the keys to my hidden places... dungeons and secret gardens and high tower turrets. There is no resistance whatsoever. There is no fear. There is only a real desire to run to him and stay. There is no hesitation. There is no bullshit.

But this is how God works.

Every conversation is sensual and erotic... The most mundane of sharing heightens my arousal. It is physical and metaphysical and spiritual and physical and joyous. He is like no man I've ever known and yet he is the accumulation of every man I've ever known....all the good... only the good. Confidant and focused and determined and open to God's will. I admire a man that owns himself fully and unapologetic.

"You are so Fucking Beautiful" "You have a beautiful spirit" "Your smile brings brightness to my sky" he whispers. It's as if I waited centuries for these words. My exhale was so deep and so profound that I am sure new galaxies were formed on the strength of my breath out to the far heavens. It has been a long time coming.

But this is how God works.

My hands were outstretched and open. I did the work of letting go of things... Heavy things... Of things and people and places that added nothing to my life excepts stress and uncertainty. He brings none of that. This is how to fall in love.

Building upon all the positives and in-common joys. He has mastered being himself and grateful. He prides himself on being a forever student and voracious reader and thinker. Oh a man that understands himself and his fears, is a man of great wealth. I do believe I am falling building in love.

I care not of time. It is not important of how long this love builds, I am in this moment and the moment is sweet.


Sunday, April 19, 2015

That's Your Bullshit... I don't Need Any Of It

Staying clear of other people's bullshit is now one of my keys to happiness.

People are creatures of habit. They deal with the same bullshit over and over and over again. If you pay attention to the folks who have drama in their lives you will see it's the same old bullshit that they have been doing forever. And if you are not careful or attentive to your own growth and freedom you will be caught up in their bullshit.

I used to feel compelled to get in there with folks and be all stressed over their shit. I thought I was being helpful and attentive. What I was doing was co-signing their foolishness. Giving support to their continued drama addiction. You see if you don't want bullshit in your life you have to quit ordering it. Simple. But folks are creatures of habit and some like the drama. So as I save myself I realize that all the drowning I was doing was because  I was staying in the deep end with folks who weren't interested in being saved.

I have no advice for folks staying committed to bullshit. They know what they are doing. They have made their choice to go the distance in mess and foolishness. I am no longer in that place. I like a drama free existence. I have made the hard choices to secure my freedom. There is no going back for me. And I will not be pulled back into bullshit I don't care who you are and what you mean to me. Now if you are ready to walk in truth and do the work for freedom, call me. But if you are about to tell me some shit about what you have suspected all along and yet you stayed in bullshit; just know I'll listen and won't have any advice for you. I don't have any answers for your life.

I am a freed woman. I have no drama in my life. NONE. I have removed people from my life who did nothing but create and nurture drama. I am happier than I have ever been. Aside from a few minor fiscal challenges, my life is damn good. I am nobody's fool, bitch, side piece or problem. I own myself out right. So whatever your deal is... Whatever your crazy is... That's your bullshit and I don't need any of it.

Do the work of freeing yourself if freedom is truly what you want. You can't change anybody but yourself. You can't make people be who they are not. You have to decide if you want to keep going back for more where there is only less.  So forgive me, if I do not wade in the water of your misery. I hear you. I am here for you. But baby I am not drowning with you and honestly hearing your story of being done wrong for the umpteenth time is not how I want to spend my short time on earth.


Sunday, April 12, 2015

This IS The Moment... I am In My Destiny

I am in the moment... I am at center stage. This is my life and I am the star. There is no getting ready for shit. This is the moment. This is the moment right now! All the things that I have wanted... Prayed for... Wished for. Are right here in my hands.

All this time I thought the success I wanted would be in the having of everything. Whoossh the curtain fell, the fog lifted, lovers fled, and there I stood naked and alone and it dawned on me. I am right where I am supposed to be and the success is right here too. Right here. I have slowly but surely orchestrated my success. The stars are indeed aligned and the truth of things are unfolding as I type. What the fuck does all this mean?

It means that my happiness isn't tied to people, places or things. Yes, I knew this, but now I live this. My desires are about attaining and maintaining peace and comfort. There is no drama anywhere in my life. None. I have removed it all. I have changed my mind about people and their shit. I have handled my business and saved my house from foreclosure. I am tackling real estate school. I am writing my memoir. I am writing a novel. As editor-in-chief of a Black newspaper, we are becoming relevant again under my watch. I am getting out and hanging out with people I absolutely adore. And I am going back to making health a priority again--- and that doesn't stress me. I have the opportunity and ability to try again and to keep trying until trying becomes the doing consistently like breathing. I am in a good place. This is my moment. This is success. I am walking in my destiny.

In this place of success there is no resting. Illumination can become darkness quickly if I don't stay diligent with safeguarding my success....Which really  means safeguarding my clear and open heart. I must continue to live and honor my definition of happiness. I am not afraid of anything, and all the people I have in my life this very moment are so good for me I can hardly stand it. I open my arms wide for more love, joy and happiness.