SHE'S 5 GOING ON 20

This morning my 5 year old daughter was in the shower--she loves taking showers, anyway as I am washing her she asks if she can wash herself with her Boots scrubby--Boots is the best friend of Dora the Explorer. I let her, and she does a great job! I am so proud and so sad, because I am realizing she is growing up and learning to become quite the independent child. She gets out of the shower and wants to dry herself off. I let her and she does a great job, I am impressed. It seems so long ago she was this tiny little baby that was placed in my arms. All my children are adopted, she was the only one that arrived as a newborn, 2 weeks old and just barely 5 lbs. This child wasn't supposed to live, as a matter of fact they--the Dept of Children and Families was expecting her to die. But she didn't. The foster home she was in was only temporary they couldn't take another child but did so for this baby. When we got the call we had to say yes immediately. I remember the day they brought her home, she was buried in a pink one piece that was 3-4 months too big. All those memories came rushing back as she is standing there in the bathroom telling me she can do things all by herself. Of course I am happy that she is becoming more and more self-sufficient, however there is a part of me that is missing that beautiful baby that so desperately needed me. This is the joy of motherhood growing them and letting them go out into the world. Yes of course, I have time before they're off to college , but still I can only imagine how painful that will be. So today I am in awe of my beautiful 5 year pressing me for her independence. Tomorrow it will be something else, perhaps permission to ride her bike past the Jackson's house or staying up an extra 15 minutes past bedtime and I will weigh my decision carefully. I swear motherhood is fleeting, if you blink you miss it.