Friday, August 10, 2007


So rather than wait for the inevitable, I have decided to give up my house. A good friend of my husband has a three family house that he has totally renovated. He and his fiancee are moving from the second floor to the third floor. The second floor will be vacant. They have offered it to me. This is comforting, because I couldn't pass a credit check and I am a felon albeit not a violent one, but undesirable all the same. My husband actually bought this information to me about the apartment, but was holding it for a while, because I was so resistant to hearing anything other than keeping this house. So now here I am finally willing to admit that I can't afford this house. I have to surrender to my situation and accept that I can't hold onto this and be happy and stress free. So I am letting go...downsizing, purging shedding skin. I can already imagine being financially free-er. If I believe as I do that God has my back, then I can let go and let God do the handiwork. I am checking my ego and focusing on what is best for me and my kids. I have to move toward having control of money and doing better with money, This is my fresh start and I am going to take it. And yes, it hurts like hell, and I have to check that too, because I suspect it is more about appearing successful and keeping up with the Jones and less about the actual house itself. I mean it's just a house--a lovely one but not the last one on the planet. So, I am taking my life back and charting my destiny. So now the packing begins and I am racing against the clock because I would like to be in the new apartment in time for the start of school, then off I go to serve my time, which I am pressing to do sometime mid-September. Yep, I am letting go and letting GOD...finally!

1 comment:

BottleBlonde said...

... I am letting go and letting GOD...finally!

The ONLY way to live happily! You are amazing, lovebabz. And how nice it will be when you've served your time and can come home to your NEW PLACE!