Sunday, June 10, 2007

Stopping all the damned crying

OK, I must say tears are not my strong suit. But since my marriage is ending, I have been crying all the time. Well today is LIBERATION DAY! I am done with the tears. He--my husband has walked out and left us. His explanation is bull***t and I, for one, am tired of hearing it. Sure life can be hard and at times it feels like the ground is opening up around you. But guess what you grab onto what you can and hold on, and if you have enough strength...and I do, you climb up and out. So enough already, he has made his decision and I can't wait for the change of mind--which I know will come eventually. But what I have realized in just 24 hours is that I love me, and I love who I have become and I know I have a lot of stuff to deal with (pending sentencing, bankruptcy, foreclosure and most importantly 4 children who need me) So running out is not an option, nor do I want it to be. Because as all my good friends have reminded me, this too will pass and the good times will be all the more sweeter. Of course the ending of my marriage is hurting, it is a pain that is unimaginable, but I do know that it won't hurt forever and I have lots to do. So all the damned tears are on hold for a more worthy and deserving occasion. And in the meantime, I've some transforming to do.

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