Monday, June 15, 2009


There are few things in the world that will make me drop someone from my life 1)being a bully- physically, emotionally and intellectually; 2)being petty...mean or ungenerous in small or trifling things: a petty person.

Being petty is manipulative. It shows how small you are when you withhold your time, affection and spirit in an attempt to act out against some imagined grievance. I seen pettiness in the most actualized folks I know. My first response is to ignore it...even laugh it off. But that gets old and my patience is short for that kind of small mindedness. It is hard for me to be petty because I care so much about what and how I say things to people. I am not a grudge holder and I work hard at letting go of petty shit thrown at me.

Letting go of petty people can be hard if you care about them. But you get tired of their behavior. You get tired of their snarky remarks. Their constant maligning of your personhood. You get tired of them never raising you up but always finding fault. This is personal to me. It is emotional to me. I feel everything in the world. I am clear about what makes me happy and what makes me joyous.

The use of language is a divine gift. To speak with bitterness and contempt and calling that real talk is small...petty. Pettiness is about all the worst insecurities coming forth.

Trying to hold onto petty people is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die. You can't do it. And if you look at the life of petty people no one ever stays. They can't stay if you have strong self esteem. You can't stay if you prefer happiness.

I am releasing my connection to those who are petty and small. They add very little to my intimate life. It's about knowing when someone's part in your story is done. It's about getting what you need and moving on. It's about getting the lessons that petty people give you and moving on. If you stay you run the risk of losing who you are and accepting someone else's version of who you ought to be.

Look at the source...petty is as petty does.


Mizrepresent said...

Bravo! I hear and feel u on this one...i let one of my best friends go bc of her pettiness...i still love her, but just care to do without her, and since then i have so much more peace in my life.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

it's soo important to excavate your relationships, and be on the constant look out for gold and to know fool's gold when you see it.

I have had to let go of some petty folx lately. some folx of little integrity and small minds. I found that when i released the need to fix them or show them that my way was right there wasn't much to hold on to any way...

and with that we let go and let God.

Do your thang sista girl, do your THANG!

Solomon said...

It's funny you should post about this today, because I was just talking to a friend about the same mess about 10 minutes ago.

I had this feeling come over me when I woke up this morning, and it had to do with exactly what you are talking about here.

Great post, funny that you should bring this up when I already had it on my mind.

We must have some kind of spiritual connection or something. {smiles}

clnmike said...

True words.

flutter said...

amen, love. Amen.

MsKnowitAll said...

Sister Lovebabz, get out of my head! I don't like to cut people off but sometimes it's just necessary.

I can't agree more with your post.

Princess Tinybutt said...

yes! pettiness is poison. and excavation necessary for life, growth, and real love.

it's tricky, it's hard to love while letting go of the ones you love, or whom should love you (mommy dearest, a husband, a sister). but it can be done. i've had to do it. and am still working on it.