Friday, June 5, 2009


Who are you? and what do you want? I am still with this. These two simple questions haunt me. They are following me around like lap dogs, love sick puppies, whinny babies. To answer requires layers and layers of truth telling. It is simple and hard. It is joyous and scary. To answer them means some things have to be let go of. Some things have to be released. Some things have to be pushed away. This is why we are all stuck. and those that are not stuck have answered the questions and the universe has opened and said HERE...ENJOY...LIVE...LOVE.

We are not answering the questions because we are still negotiating with ourselves about our truths. We want truth but not at the expense of giving up anything. We want to keep all the mess that keeps us unhappy and away from what we say we want. We believe we can wait out situations, lovers, jobs. We are in the convincing game even though we say we are not. If we just go along and things are seemingly good then the questions are tucked away or buried or band-aided. And yet the longing for deeper connections and love nags like a dull tooth ache. We know we are not joyous and we are fine with just making do. We even mock being joyous on a regular basis. We ask who is happy all the time? I say why aren't we happy all the time! And why do we have to accept being unhappy at all.

Too much of joy is tied to the external. Too much of what we want is dependent upon something or someone yielding to our desires. If they say no, or the situation does not provide us with what we want, we are sad. We are dependent on the external to give us full and complete joy. We don't want to be work, at play, in love, in life. But here's the punch line: YOU ARE ALONE in your skin. And the gift is that you have to be joyous from the inside standing on your own and understanding that the divinity is within.

Until we are ready to answer, the divinity will keep asking:



Light & Love said...

I'm still asking.

I feel that there is a difference between joy and happiness. Yes, I agree that we are too dependent on external factors for our joy and I feel that for me, that is part of the problem. Joy should seem out from my pores 24/7. But happiness is dependent on factors other than myself. Now, that I'm learning to differenciate between the two my live is beginning to move a little bit more smoothly.

Nice post.....

Enjoy your weekend.

Solomon said...

I've found that joy from within, it took longer than I would have liked, but I have found it, and nobody can take away my good thing, my joy!

nobody! {smiles}

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Gosh, Babz, it seems like we've been thinking about the same things. You've described it to a tee. I've noticed that now that my mind is quiet and life is drama-free, it's semi-forced me to get to know myself. Good, bad or's a necessary task. Wonderfully explained and encouraged.

MelzieC ;-)

Keith said...

Love this Post...seems like a number of us have been on the same wavelength lately. The pain we cause ourselves and others over stupid things never cease to amaze me. Jesus forgave the world for mocking him and brutally murdering him, Yet we can't forgive each other for something somebody said..
It's amazing...Life is short, love those who you can today and don't sweat the small stuff.

Keith said...

I posted on the wrong one..I meant this for the post about pain emancipation...Sorry!

LadyLee said...

Powerful post, Oldgirl. Really.

Those questions are terribly difficult to answer. I've spent pages and pages digging into them... and in the process, found a springboard from where I can begin to chang some things.

Looking inside is difficult, but all too necessary.

Rich Fitzgerald said...

I'll ask you again. Are you hungry enough or is comfort stifling your ability to do something about these feelings?