Who are you? and what do you want? I am still with this. These two simple questions haunt me. They are following me around like lap dogs, love sick puppies, whinny babies. To answer requires layers and layers of truth telling. It is simple and hard. It is joyous and scary. To answer them means some things have to be let go of. Some things have to be released. Some things have to be pushed away. This is why we are all stuck. and those that are not stuck have answered the questions and the universe has opened and said HERE...ENJOY...LIVE...LOVE.
We are not answering the questions because we are still negotiating with ourselves about our truths. We want truth but not at the expense of giving up anything. We want to keep all the mess that keeps us unhappy and away from what we say we want. We believe we can wait out situations, lovers, jobs. We are in the convincing game even though we say we are not. If we just go along and things are seemingly good then the questions are tucked away or buried or band-aided. And yet the longing for deeper connections and love nags like a dull tooth ache. We know we are not joyous and we are fine with just making do. We even mock being joyous on a regular basis. We ask who is happy all the time? I say why aren't we happy all the time! And why do we have to accept being unhappy at all.
Too much of joy is tied to the external. Too much of what we want is dependent upon something or someone yielding to our desires. If they say no, or the situation does not provide us with what we want, we are sad. We are dependent on the external to give us full and complete joy. We don't want to be alone....at work, at play, in love, in life. But here's the punch line: YOU ARE ALONE in your skin. And the gift is that you have to be joyous from the inside standing on your own and understanding that the divinity is within.
Until we are ready to answer, the divinity will keep asking:
WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?