I am out of balance. I am feeling a bit sad. It is not a state of mind I like being in and I recognize it when it shows up. I am however, not going to run from feeling out of sorts. I am going to allow myself this time to feel these feelings. I am going to allow my self the honor of feeling sad and blue. Mind you I am not wallowing in self-pity. I am allowing myself the time to keep my own council and retreat for a bit into myself. I am not afraid that this will turn into full blown depression. I believe, when I do not give myself the opportunity to get in touch with my real feelings and deal with what's underneath that is causing me pain then depression has opportunity to take root. I have to give myself back to myself and stand fully in my spirit.
So today I am retreating inward. I am going to spend my day in prayer and meditation. I am shutting out the noise of the world and finding my center. I am slowing down the routine of my life today and will return renewed and in balance. If not I will take another day and another day...as many days as I need until I am feeling renewed and replenished.
A Place Called Comfort
The last time I gave my lover a bath, my hands caressed his
smooth black skin. The small ripples of waves brushed gently against the tub, taking with them lifeless, skin, that retreated to the foot of the tub.
The essence of flowers added sweet smells and candlelight
danced against walls. I stroked him gently and wished the night could last forever. His perfectly chiseled body lay limp
from the steam created by the hot water and his eyelids
relaxed to a near closed position.
Sometimes now, as I fall asleep, I remember that time, the
pleasant small talk and my escalating emotions. He melted
inside me that day and I found within the experience, a place called Comfort.
The last time I gave my lover a bath, I went to a place that protected me from all the pain that my life has known, a place