Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I LEFT MY HEART IN...

Tomorrow I am off to the Blogher Conference in San Francisco . This is remarkable on so many levels. For one, last year this time I was waiting on sentencing. My attorney thought perhaps I would have to do 6-9 months in federal prison. The maximum sentence was 14 months. Needless to say I was overwhelmed. I am still not ready to talk about what that meant and how I felt. The thing that is remarkable to me is that I remember stumbling upon Blogher.com. I joined just as they were announcing their conference in Chicago. I said to myself I can't go this year...but next year I will be there. I knew I was going even before the sentencing. Here it is next year and I am going! I am going because I fixed my mind to go. I was sentenced to 30 days. I served 29 days in a federal prison camp. I did it with as much grace and dignity as I could.

It is amazing getting ready to travel and pack and coordinate the care of my children because last year it was a different kind of preparation. Last year I did not let myself get caught up in leaving my children. I went about the business of creating a seamless plan for their day-to-day experience. They would not miss out on anything because I wasn't there. I made arrangements for every aspect of their lives, I left instructions for everyone, even the back-up plan had a back-up plan. This plan for this trip is different, I will be back in a few days. This is joyous and exciting! My "True Love" friends are making this trip possible. And I am speaking at the conference too so that was a huge blessing and relief in expenses.

I am however a bit nervous about leaving my children. They are feeling a bit anxious about me leaving...they remember last year. I remember last year...we all remember last year. I almost don't want to go because I don't want them afraid. But I must go because I don't want them afraid. They have to see me come and go and come and go. I am anxious and trying to hold it all together. See this is where good sex could help in this...LOL! I could relax and all the tension could be worked out...but I digress.

I am getting ready, doing my last minute what-nots. This is an incredible time in my big life. I am in awe of the power of love. I am in awe of the power of community and I am in awe of the power of friendship and LOVE.

17 comments:

Sharon because it had to be said! said...

You go and have a great time letting that corner of the world see what other corners of the world have to offer. Of course if "Aunt Sharon" a.k.a. TeTe was anywhere near your corner of the world, she would see after the "Babybabz-es" and put a small dent in their anxiety if she possibly could....

Oh well, maybe this time NEXT YEAR as you head off to do whatever it is you are heading off to do at that point, the "Babybabz-es" [having already made the acquaintance of AND fallen in love with their St. Louis-based TeTe earlier in the year at the 2009 Annual Memorial Day Remember When..... Picnic] might be able to have a short adventure of their own as they head back to one of their NEW FAVORITE SPOTS...The STL ;)

Be blessed and enjoy yourself!!!

Lovebabz said...

Sharon,

You are an absolute joy!

We are so in the STL for the big bash!

Danie said...

You go and have a great time...speak your truth and continue to enjoy the blessings that God is bringing your way!!!

Lovebabz said...

Hi Danie,
Thank you! I know its going to be fantastic!

alto artist said...

It sounds so exciting! It will be wonderful--have fun!
--aa.

Aunt Jackie said...

i'm very much excited to meet you and can't wait to have a glass of wine and share a laugh or two with you.

professor said...

hey congratulations...look how much change has happened over the last 365 days...I always tell folk "one day you will be looking back at this time"...
have a wonderful time and come back refreshed and strengthened for the next 365 days...

Lovebabz said...

Hello Alto Artist!
Yes it will be a time...I am already exhausted.

Aunt Jackie,
I so looking ofrward to it! YOu and me and wine! Do we need the number of a good bondsman?

Professor,
It is amazing how far I have come. I think I would be mired in pain and turmoil...but look I am definitely on the sunny side of the street!

the prisoner's wife said...

i am so happy for you! have a GREAT time sis...see if somebody can tape your workshop & come back and post some clips for us.

be safe! (and have LOTS of fun)

Organized Noise said...

Have fun. Can't wait to read all about you trip.

CapCity said...

Sending HUGZZZZZ! Wishing I could BE there! Hoping somehow u'll be videotaped during your talk, so u can share with us!!

God willing next year - U, Sharon & I will talk on the subject of discovering your Kindred Spirits via BlogLand (anyone from BlogHer, Blogging While Brown & all other Blog Conferences "listening"? ;-).

Safe travels, Sistah Love!

Nexgrl said...

I hope that you not only shine at the conference, but get a chance to really see the city. San Francisco is a beautiful city, no matter what you may have heard.

Anali said...

Wow! You really show what a difference a year makes. Have an awesome time at the conference.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to go to the regional BlogHer conference in Massachusetts. It's probably unlikely. I'll have to email you off-blog.

Magpie said...

you were amazing on that panel. i went because of flutter and whymommy, and you were the icing on the cake.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

sounds like u were balling
i know u ate good, well atl next week right

Mizrepresent said...

Wishing you safe travels, and a great time lady!

k.a.t.calvin said...

Congratulations! Your story is such an inspiration and I know your children must be so proud of you! Thank you for writing and inspiring all of us!

k.a.t.calvin
www.bapworld.com