Tomorrow I am off to the Blogher Conference in San Francisco . This is remarkable on so many levels. For one, last year this time I was waiting on sentencing. My attorney thought perhaps I would have to do 6-9 months in federal prison. The maximum sentence was 14 months. Needless to say I was overwhelmed. I am still not ready to talk about what that meant and how I felt. The thing that is remarkable to me is that I remember stumbling upon Blogher.com. I joined just as they were announcing their conference in Chicago. I said to myself I can't go this year...but next year I will be there. I knew I was going even before the sentencing. Here it is next year and I am going! I am going because I fixed my mind to go. I was sentenced to 30 days. I served 29 days in a federal prison camp. I did it with as much grace and dignity as I could.
It is amazing getting ready to travel and pack and coordinate the care of my children because last year it was a different kind of preparation. Last year I did not let myself get caught up in leaving my children. I went about the business of creating a seamless plan for their day-to-day experience. They would not miss out on anything because I wasn't there. I made arrangements for every aspect of their lives, I left instructions for everyone, even the back-up plan had a back-up plan. This plan for this trip is different, I will be back in a few days. This is joyous and exciting! My "True Love" friends are making this trip possible. And I am speaking at the conference too so that was a huge blessing and relief in expenses.
I am however a bit nervous about leaving my children. They are feeling a bit anxious about me leaving...they remember last year. I remember last year...we all remember last year. I almost don't want to go because I don't want them afraid. But I must go because I don't want them afraid. They have to see me come and go and come and go. I am anxious and trying to hold it all together. See this is where good sex could help in this...LOL! I could relax and all the tension could be worked out...but I digress.
I am getting ready, doing my last minute what-nots. This is an incredible time in my big life. I am in awe of the power of love. I am in awe of the power of community and I am in awe of the power of friendship and LOVE.