"NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY
WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION"
It is so easy to find yourself auditioning for some one's affections...time...concern...commitment. In our needy selves we bend over backwards to be agreeable...accomadating...available. "I love him/her" we say and we do all manner of things for them. They do little, to next to nothing for us. We struggle to win them...to make them love us. They never commit, maybe they give in a little and allow the attention we shower to continue. We convince ourselves that love isn't about equality...I do for him/her because it makes me feel good. But the reality is we are auditioning.
We are making someone our priority when they are seeing us as an option.
As I discern this dating life. I am struck at how I am not interested in having someone make me happy. I want to create my own happiness. I want to be in joy on my own. Perhaps that is why I am a reluctant dater. I am not in the mood to audition. I am not in the mood to struggle with anyone. I am not in the mood to support some one's issues...challenges...fears...lack of ambition...lack of future effort. I am not perfect. I am not looking for perfection. I just can't stand the bullshit. So where does that leave me? It leaves me clearer today than yesterday.
TODAY 12:30PM EST