Friday, May 29, 2009

FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: MY SEXUAL DECLARATION

I LOVE SEX. I am a highly sexual being. There is nothing more divine than having sex. I love sex so much that I have a blog solely dedicated to the pleasures of sex. I am a woman made for sex. I could have sex everyday...maybe several times a day. I love sex.

But at this point in my life I do not want to have sex with a stranger. I don't want to have sex with someone who cares not for my well being. I do not want to have sex with someone who will have sex with someone new tomorrow. I don't want to have sex with multiple partners over a short period of time....or a long period of time for that matter. I don't not want to have sex in secret. I do not want to have sex as an afterthought. I don't want to have sex with someone who cares not about his own safety. I don't want to have sex in boredom. I do not want to have sex for recreational sport. I don't want casual sex...like wearing jeans and flip flops to the mall.

I want celebratory sex. I want sex that is deliberate. I want sex that is catered to my needs...desires...fantasies. I want to scream his name because I know him. I want sex that catches my breath. I want sex that makes me dream and orgasm in my sleep. I want sex that keeps me wet in my waking hours. I want sex with a man...strong...bold...determined...unafraid..committed...loving...tender. I want sex that binds and connects and reaffirms my beauty to my spirit to my intellect to my heart. I want righteous sex. I want sex without reservation. I want sex that is lush. I want sex with a man who wants me solely. I want sex with a man that knows I was made for him.

I've been fucked...screwed...bent over...made love to. I have been with men I couldn't pick out of a line-up today if I had to. I have had my share of lovers...good ...bad...indifferent. I have long forgotten names of men who I have shared this body with. I have even loved a few...deeply. I have tried everything under the sun...twice...three times. I have been unashamed in my lust. I have fed my big sexual appetite with men from all over the world. I have laid with men who loved me...hated me...even strangers to me. I have collected a lifetime of men in strange places with different faces all up for the act. I've fucked men and kicked them out of my living space: Nope I Sleep Alone---you gotta go---it's been nice---I'll call you.

Marriage changed me. It gave me a safe place to house this sexual appetite. It taught me that love and sex could exist. That to love a man fully was more than just giving him my body. Love meant happily sharing my hopes, dreams, fears, heart. I was at home in marriage. I was suited to it. I can not go back to fucking any old Joe for pleasure. I want the promise of love for a lifetime.

I want my sexual pleasures to be exclusively shared with a like-minded lover. That's it. This is my sexual declaration. I have to care about you, and I have to matter to you. There is no compromising on that. I have to know that you are for me. I have to believe that I am for you. I want all of heaven.

As I maneuver the dating waters I need this clarity. I am not willing to take a man to my bed and have him enter this body because I am horny or that I am bored or lonely or there's nothing else to do. It is sacred. If I believe that and treat it as sacred then the experience when it does happen and it will happen, will be divine. I am not talking sexual tricks and positions and acrobatics. I am talking about when my soul-mate arrives we will both come to it as new lovers. Eager, and excited.

10 comments:

Light & Love said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Light & Love said...

I concur. Hold tight Queen,he's out there.

Princess Tinybutt said...

yes, hold tight and know that that kind of love, sex, exists. and that it exists for YOU.

ps... you KNOW i LOVE ME SOME SEX!!!

lol ;p

laurie said...

this is beautiful and so are you.

Solomon said...

It sounds like you know what you want, and aren't willing to settle anymore.

Your perfct match is out there, and you will find him.

The Real Ginger said...

Your words are always SO beautiful.
He'll be lucky just to be able to listen to you!

Tonearm Chills said...

I decided this is what I wanted a long time ago. I didn't have that safety when I was married though. I feel safer single. I'm not sure I believe in that sort of genuine, sustained connection anymore but I won't be settling for anything less than that. Excellent blog.

Mary said...

You and your soul mate don't have to be monogamous. In my experience, love for sex is not limiting sex to one person. When looking for your soul mate, be the horny woman you are. If a man doesn't like that about you, then he's not your soul mate.

"I want sex with a man who wants me solely." That's not going to happen.

Lovebabz said...

Light & Love,
I am indeed holding tight.

Princess,
yes, indeed I do know that you love sex! LOL! and I know that kind of love exists...I've had it.

Laurie,
Thank you so very much ((HUGS))

Solomon,
I needed to get some calrity. I needed to say what I want and not be driven by what comes.

The Real Ginger,
Sister, thank you!

Tonearm Chills,
Thank you for stopping by. I am convinced when I am clear about what I want and my intentions I make better decisions. I am not a begger. I do not have to accept any kind of treatment or relationship.

Mary,
I do indeed believe that love and sex are divinely connected. I do not want one without the other. That's it.

I do believe that a man that loves me will absolutely want only me.

I do not have to accept anything less than what I want...desire...need.

clnmike said...

So what your saying is you want a steady boyfriend, not too much to ask for.