Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I went to bed last night with too much on my mind. I slept fitfully. Old haunts are back. Slowly I am finding myself worrying about shit. Not a lot but enough to mess with my rest. My mind is racing and I am trying to do a million things all at once. I am not at ease.

When I get like this I tend to be excessive in goings and comings...everything has a sense of urgency. I am moving too fast. I am not in the moment. There is much to do and nothing I am excited about.

That's it! There is nothing that I am excited about! Ah HA! I feel the need to be still and quiet and let the divinity direct me. When I start to notice that nothing excites me then I have to step back, catch my breath and listen. The world can't excite me. The excitement has to be from within.

I am wasting time with things, people and situations that do not make me happy, do not bring me joy or even make me smile. I know better. I have gone over my life with a fine tooth comb. I know real joy and happiness. What I am doing now is pretending and it is not enough. And it's not bringing me what I want. So I am stopping it RIGHT NOW.

I am done wasting time. Now that does not mean I charge through the day like a fool on a mission. I am saying that every activity, every project every interaction with someone has to be one that I find pleasure in. Simple. And that I spend my time with purpose, even if its merely to take a nap. I am not going to fight a nap. (smile)

I am realizing that I have to be totally responsible for my happiness and I can see in areas of my life that I am not. Not deliberately, but not mindful either. So the wasting of time is, I suspect at the heart of a lot that is annoying me at the moment.

AAhhh time for more meditation and discernment on what My time really means to me and how to bring real pleasure into my life.


laurie said...

Yes. xoxoxo

Rich Fitzgerald said...

I think this type of thing bugs all of us achievers, but it is incredibly hard, at least for me, to constantly be "on". Sometimes wasting time allows you time to refuel, so it's not really wasted time, it's necessary.

But focus is good. Keep peeling away at the layers.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

there is no such thing as wasting timme if u asked me but u didnt

Lovebabz said...

Hi Laurie!

Hey Brother Fitzgerald!
I like your thoughts in this. perhaps I need to look at wasting time in a different way. Thank YOU!

LOL! No such thing as wasting time? I am asking you :)

Solomon said...

I'm feelin ya...

I like to think I stay focused all the time, but I tend to lose my way once in a while.

It's a new day!

Sista GP said...

Sometimes we must travel at different speeds, but eventually we get there.

Princess Tinybutt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Princess Tinybutt said...

i'm feeling ya sis. interesting what rich said. well, back to marinating on things...

Darius T. Williams said...

Love this motivation!

urbanknitrix said...

I know how you feel. I get like that too. Sometimes, I get into a funk and realize that I have been walking through life and not really living life. You know - wake up, go to work, come home, and start all over. Well, I realize something was missing and that is why I am back in school. I feel much better. I have to be productive or feel creative or it eats me up.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

You didn't me that you were wasting time talking to me, did you? I've been very upset about a bunch of shit and you were extremely understanding and also really took my mind off my troubles!

It surely wasn't my intention to waste your time.

Lovebabz said...

Sometimes you have to get unfoucsed for better clarity :)

Sista GP,
Love that! Very Profound!

Yes Rich was on the money.

Hi Darius,
WOW coming from you...THANKS A BUNCH!

I am working on my creative side these days. Trying to figure out what that is exactly :)

Why on earth would you even think I was talking about YOU! It is always my pleasure to talk to you!
Talking to you is TIME WELL SPENT!