Thursday, September 18, 2008

I AM MY GIFT

I am turning my attention to my weight. I am heavier that I should be. I am the heaviest I have ever been. I do not like it. Try as I might I have not made real peace with this weight.

I have been an athlete my entire life...except for the last 12 years. The last 12 years I grew complacent. I settled into this weight like a bear settling in for winter hibernation. I got by on, well I wear clothes that flatter, or I am tall. Yes I am all those things and FAT.

So I am taking this on again. Not in a whining way, or a beat myself up sort of way. But in a gentle, focused and loving way. Yes I said I would not talk about weight ever again. But how can I not. There is a small voice in me that says...unhappiness. Carrying the weight is really carrying unhappiness.

So I am taking cues from my beautiful blog Sisters Go Bytch, Sharon and Flutter. No, I am not putting my self on Youtube like Sister Sharon, nor am I going to photograph my progress like Flutter. I will keep running posts as updates from now until my 46th birthday, May 2, 2009.

I am giving up beer and wine and tequila. Will have some for Thanksgiving and Christmas and Champagne for New Year's. I have started a Mindful Meditation class that meets every Friday from 9-11 am for the next 8 weeks. I am going to the gym every morning after I do my carpooling. I am putting myself at the top of my list. No one will suffer. Children will be taken care of as always and their needs will not be neglected. I must however make a commitment to myself.

I am my gift.

31 comments:

Mizrepresent said...

Good for you girl, we are all gonna be fabulous and fly!

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Hey Miz,
And I am going to talk about your 180 day plan next...I am so doing that! LOL!

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

I definitely feel you on this one Sistah...may God give us the strength and discipline to get our temples in shape...Amen!

NoRegrets said...

Yay! Again and again. That's simply what it takes, is taking care of yourself. And ultimately by doing that you're taking care of others too. I love the label - my last year of being fat - funny.

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Hey Keisha,
Yes, indeed! Got to see my body as my temple!

Noregrets,
So much of my time is spent on thinking abut everything and everyone else but me. I have got to put myself on my list!

That Writer Chick said...

I am so feeling you on this one! I was just in Macy's last night, dreading trying anything on, thinking the thoughts you posted. I'm taking this journey with you!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

I started weight watchers on line two weeks ago because I am working six days a week and I can't afford to carry around anything unnecessary weight or emotional or other wise. I am proud of you for this and more!

LISA VAZQUEZ said...

Hey there LoveBabz!!!

It's great that you are embarking on an important goal such as optimal health. It's not about looks but it's about doing all we can to have LONG LIFE!!

It is important to put yourself FIRST...black women have bought into this notion that they should put themselves last in order to prove that they are generous and selfless...that notion only perpetuates self-depravation among black women while everyone ELSE is putting THEIR needs at the top of the list!

So do your thang sista...lose the weight you want...and celebrate YOU!

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

flutter said...

you are a gift to all of us

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

You certainly are. And what Flutter said...

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Hey MzTeeJaye,
I am ready. Come on!

AJ,
Sister, that GOD for the world wide web! I am going back to sparkpeople.com. It's free and it's easy to use.

Hello BWBTT!
Yes you are so right. I think we do it without a thought. We automatically think of ourselves second. I am going to purposely put myself first.

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Flutter,
You inspired me today. I was htinking I would start again and seeing you on your blog being so open,I just swallowed my mess and stepped up. THANKS!

Hey Second Sixty-Eight,
Thank you kindly!

the prisoner's wife said...

man...i SO feel you!

i was in a good groove for a minute, but i've fallen off. i admiring myself in the mirror yesterday & things weren't quite right. i'm not my heaviest, but i'm not the ME i want to be (you know, the one in my head). i need to refocus & start putting some time into myself. thanks for the reminder.

professor said...

good for you...I support you 100%...take it from me and get a complete physical...make them test for EVERYTHING...then do what you do cause you sound like you're on the right path...don't cut anything from your diet (like all carbs or all meat), just eat in moderation and make sure your diet matches your activity level...
loving yourself is the first step cause if you're jacked up and not right you can't be there for your kids...

All-Mi-T [Thought Crime] Rawdawgbuffalo said...

yes u are and them sisters are truly great blog queens

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Hey TPW!
How are you...I know school is in full swing! Join me on this journey

Hey Professor,
All done. I see my physian on a regular basis. I get all the test necessary, I know my all my level and numbers. I am so ready!

Hey Torrance,
Thank you.

Keith said...

You're already Fabulous and Fly..If it's in your spirit and personality. How are you doin Lovebabz? I haven't been around in awhile..but I was thinking about you today while reading all of the other blogs I read and I thought I'd check in. have a great weekend.

Just Kel said...

It must be that time of year, fitting back into those fall and winter clothes... because I'm about to run back to Weight Watchers myself.

I pray you continue to be motivated. You have inspired me to get back on track.

Ms Smack said...

Good on ya!

The secret is to expel more energy than you are consuming.

Cut down on breads, spuds, and pasta, and fill up on vege, fruit, proteins.

You are beautiful whichever size you are though; remember that!

clnmike said...

Nothing wrong with some meat on the bones!

But it's all about your health and having a long life, good luck.

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Hi Keith,
I was hoping you would drop back in..you came on a day when I was in a rare rant...LOL!

Msknowitall,
Girl, When I hit 46 next year, I will be lighter!

Ms Smack,
I am pulling out all my dvds. I will be atthe gym like I am training for a marathon and I am going to eat more mindfully!

clnmike,
Hear you. I am not trying to be supermodel size 4 Just fit and trim!

Sista GP said...

I've started back using the Walk Away the Pounds DVD. once I get on a groove, I will add in my Total Gym for strenghtening and toning.

She Draws said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
She Draws said...

Thanks for the shout out LOVE...girl yeah I wanted to post progressive pics but haven't gotten that bold yet...LOL

So far I've been cutting way back on carb filled foods, but haven't started my weight regimen just yet.
But I did realize that I stay full longer eating eggs and meat for breakfast as opposed to a bagle in the morning...

We can do this together!

Go B.

GoteeMan said...

ok, now you got me all feeling bad about my stash of Reese's cups in my damn freezer... I ate like 6 of those little buggers today...

I mean to do better, but willpower is more like wontpower today...

always tomorrow... so I will get up and start my exercise program I have been delaying... and get my fat butt up from behind this computer and get moving again...

J/ (goteeman.blogspot.com)

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Hey Sista GP,
I have dvds by Leslie Sansone, walk away the pounds. Good stuff and very user friendly.

Hey AGB!
I am not committing to progress photos!

Hey old friend Goatee Man!
Have not heard from you in ages. How good to have you drop in, Yes we are all on our fitness journeys! Well I am going to do my level best! So nice of you to stop by!

angela said...

YES!!!! please forgive if someone, or everyone has already said this, but... YOU MUST PUT YOURSELF FIRST!! you know that i'm a life coach, and my practice is all about helping, teaching, guiding womem do just that. we've GOT to sis.

it is time for that wieght to go. it symbolizes too much. i'm gonna stop there because they've got me hookt up to some shit that's got me babbling on and i may not be able to make the point i want to make, lol!!

i am so glad and thankful that you are doing this. you are a gift to me, and to all of us. and this will make you better. BETTER.

love you

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

I hope that making a public announcement about this great goal doesn't put too much pressure on you. Good luck.

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Hey Princess,
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Got to give it up!

KIT,
My whole life has been public...
LOL!
There is no pressure!

Eb the Celeb said...

your a taurus too.. next year we have to do is super big for the may babies

Megan said...

You go girl! You look fabulous right now, and I wish you good thoughts as you take on this difficult nut to crack.

I know because I'm working on it myself: http://www.megansminute.com/2008/09/going-for-the-b.html

Keep us posted.

Megan

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