Tuesday, September 23, 2008

TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: TIME IS NOT HEALING

Time passing is not healing. What heals me is the choice I make to get over or beyond something. Time is really irrelevant. There is no set time in getting over old hurts, wounds, disappointments, mistakes and missteps. There is no set rule as to when a broken heart ought to be mended.

I know that when I want to stay stuck, I wallow in the thing that is causing me grief. I go back to the perceived injustice and think it through over and over and over again. And if that wasn't enough I will talk it over with my "True Love" friends until I am sick of hearing my own voice. By this point the light bulb turns on and I realize that I can make a choice here. That I should just shut the fuck-up about the perceived injustice and keep it moving. Dwelling on the thing, event, person, situation, does not bring clarity. It only makes me STUCK. And when I am stuck there is no chance for other things, people, events, situations to move in or out of my life...DUH!

I am no martyr. I do not like suffering. But sometimes I get in my own way and I hang on to pain way too long. As if there is something noble about suffering. I prefer to be happy...even in the face of adversity. Even in the face of loss and grief and pain...I prefer to be happy. Happiness is not about time put in, or time spent. Happiness is about being. Being in this moment in way that allows you to see who you are right now. To accept and revere the blessings right now. There is no better time to be blessed, happy, joyful and in love than right now.

...LOVE waits on welcome, not on time....A Course in Miracles

15 comments:

Jennifer said...

What clarity! Mindfulness is the key.

Lovebabz said...

Hey Jennifer,
Yes. I am a student of mindfulness!

NoRegrets said...

Oh, but it's so hard to do sometimes. Being miserable is such a natural state sometimes, and I think there's a tendency to think you get more attention when you're sad. Choosing to be happy...I think requires strength.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

It is so hard to come out of the self-pity mode because it feels so good sometimes!

But learning yourself is the first step to get out of the slump.

Lovebabz said...

No regrets,
You may well be right. I caught myself retelling a story about my husband's latest injustice toward me and I stopped ebfore I could finish. Why was I retelling this shit. It doesn't make me happy. In fact it keeps me tied to the mess. as long as I continue in that, I cannot be happy. I choose being happy.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

atlanta is a great anti stuck reliever

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

"Happiness is about being"...I dig sistah! Great post and once again I say "Amen" to a well delivered message....

Lovebabz said...

Kay C, the quiet storm,
I am training myself to beat it back. To stop it before it become invasive. Yes loving one's self is key!

Torrance,
I just love you! From your lips to God's ear. Atlanta will be my home!!!!! LOL!

Keisha,
Thank you. It may seem like a small thing, but I find that it is very hard for folks to get at...just being happy.

MzTeeJaye said...

I so need this today! It is so poignant, so relevant to my life right now. I think I'm going to print this out and tape it to my mirror...

clnmike said...

Great post, it's hard to shake that black cloud and not come out bitter.

A Go Bytch said...

"Shut the fuck-up " Don't talk to lovebabz like that....she's a sweetheart.

When you are ready you'll come out of the funk! We all do honey!

Lovebabz said...

Hey there MzTeeJay!
I am glad you found something that I had to say relevant to your life.

Clnmike,
I don't do bitter..it just doesn't suit me...smile!

AGB,
Sister I am glad you are my blog friend! And thanks for your kind and supportive comments.

sista gp said...

See, you said it. There is no set time for me to go back to "u know where".

Sleep is not over-rated.

BTW, working on a post for you. Should be up next week.

The Bear Maiden said...

Yeah, I've been saying the same thing lately...

MsKnowitAll said...

I was just reading about this, this morning. Healing is making the effort to put the past to bed and say goodnight. Healing is not scraping the scabs off by talking about "it" until you're blue.

"There is no better time to be blessed, happy, joyful and in love than right now."

Wise words.