Thursday, September 4, 2008


Do not come to my blog and leave nasty posts. I will delete them. Do not come to my blog and call me a liar because you don't like the shit I talk about. You no longer have the ability to intimidate or scare me. You know what you did and I know what you did and our children know what you did. How dare you come here and invade my space with your petty shit.


Get a life. Or act like you have a life and quit trying to tell me what to do. You don't even see your kids. You won't even call them. You love do they know that? How do you know it. If your beef is with me...fine, what else can you do to me that you haven't done? What is left? But our children? You would desert them because you are small and petty. You did this with your first wife and daughter. You have done this with your Mother, Father, Sisters, Brothers and other friends, your Lodge. You leave people. I've seen you do it time and time again with friends and relatives. You got kicked out of the engineers program because of your uncontrollable anger. When you were fired, I stood right there with you. I didn't get upset I said come on home we will figure it all out.


Why didn't I file for divorce if I was so unhappy you ask? Because I loved you and I was willing to endure your petty shit for the sake of our family and the children we adopted. Because providing for them was and is more important than my own happiness. Because I thought I got what I deserved in you. I did not believe I could have more, or better. I settled. I tried to make the best of it. I was a FOOL! A FOOL DO YOU HEAR ME!


I did my time in federal prison camp. I protected your ass. I let you blackmail me while I was under investigation--you threatend to tell them that I alone embezzled funds when I threatened to go to the police when you chased me up the stairs calling yourself about to push me down them. I put the phone down as you called me bitch and liar and thief. I took it because I was afraid. I have always been afraid of you. But most importantly I was always afraid of me.


Yes, I should have filed for divorce the first year when you pulled a gun on me. When you shoved me so hard you busted my lip. I should have left you when you accused me of cheating on you. I should have left after you threw away 2 sets of wedding rings--that I bought. I should have left when you threw out a suit and pair of shoes you bought me for an interview--which I never got to wear because you got mad at me for something. I should have left you when you threw soda in my face while I was holding our baby because you didn't like a response I gave you. I should have left you on the 100th "bitch, fuck you" I should have left years and years and years ago. I own my part in my unhappiness. I own my part in being stupid. NEVER AGAIN!


Yes I am a liar and I was a thief but I was not born that way and it was not my crime to bear, but I did. You don't have the guts to own your shit. You want everyone to think I am shit. Perhaps folks may think that. As you said everyone knows who I am and what I am about. Well, I know who stands with me. I know who my "true love" friends are. I am not ashamed of my life, or my past, or of anything. I got more balls than you will ever have. You know nothing about loyalty, commitment, honor and kindness or family.


Now get on down the road and don't come back around here again.


The Bear Maiden said...


HA HA! OH have I been there, where you are. And where you were.

You go girl... it's gonna be alright now!!!!!

...and ya might wanna read this one....

And you know what girl? DON'T delete his posts. Leave them. Bullies operate in secret... leave his stuff up for all the world to see... cuz YOU know you have the power to take them down anytime you feel too... but leave them up for awhile. I want to see them..

Lovebabz said...

Good Morning Bear Maiden,

No I don't want his shit on my blog. I gather he has been reading me for quite some time now. So much for him moving on.

I feel better now that I just let his shit go. I am no longer carrying him on my back. This post was quite liberating.

Yes indeed you were where I am. Thank you for sharing your posts/ is amazing how close we are!

I suspect he hasn't really moved on at all.

Kiayaphd said...

You just described an insecure, impotent coward! Hardly worthy of your energy, emotions or even this rant. Men like him have only as much power as you allow them. Cut 'em off!!

Lovebabz said...

Yes. He has been waiting to come over here and have his say. He is cut off. I told him to stop emailing me and to quit posting on my blog. I will delete them every time.

Moanerplicity said...

ok. this all reads waaaaaaaaay too personal for me to leave a comment that comes off as an opinion.

so, i'ma just say this: Please, WORK IT OUUUUUUT, Sista!


Lovebabz said...


I am very pissed off today and it's about time. You can leave wahtever comment or opinion you feel like.

Tomorrow will be a totally different me I am sure of it.

The Bear Maiden said...

I hear you on deleting them. You HAVE that power! :)

But no... he hasn't moved on. And he won't for a while. See, the thing is there was time spent... and despite the fact he left, despite the fact that there has been turmoil, there was time spent. And there are children in common. It's just some people did not learn how to separate issues... it took SD a LONG time to "move on"... and you know what? We have a peace, now, a truce... but in my gut I know he still hasn't moved on and it makes me very very leery...

But you... you have a blessed day!

Lovebabz said...

Sister Bear Maiden,
I believe you are right. But I am dtermined not to get stuck on stupid. I have to get past this and not let this become my rant forever and ever.

Shai said...

Whew! Let it out. I feel ya on venting when it is needed.

Is this your ex stalking out your blog and making comments? If so that is SO petty.

Rich said...

I'm here for you sister, ain't going no where. We all got wrinkles in our skin.

laurie said...

Wow. You are awesome and I am awestruck. I felt your anger all the way here in Ottawa.
Wishing you nothing but joy and love from here on in...

Lovebabz said...

Hi Shai,
This is it. I am letting this poison go and I am moving on!

Hey Fitzgerald,
You are the best! Good talking to you...THANKS!

I have had enough! This was my last bit of bile to let go of!

Eb the Celeb said...

damn girlie... woooooossaaaaaahhh

crazy that when you are grown you still have to deal with stuff like this with men...

I really use the excuse for the little things that I have to deal with being the fact that I am still kinda young but I'm depressed that this behavior doesnt stop.

Go on head and vent though girlie... this is an outlet and we are all here to listen...


I got ya back!

Keith said...

Gee, I guess this wasn't the best time to be a first time commentor on your blog...but I'm going to pray for you and I will be here for you too..I lurk on your blog quite a bit..I finnally said that today I was going to leave a comment. I pray for your strength..
Strength to move forward with your life. Nobody deserves to be treated bad, just remember that. No one who is in your life pulling you down is worth the time it takes to say "fuck you" Surround yourself with positive folks that make you feel good about yourself and that can help you get where you need to be going. If you have a group of friends and you're the smartest got a problem..
Find smart ,intelligent and ambitious people to be around. That goes for the next man in your life too. Find a man that has a plan (and a clue-lololol) Believe me there still are some out there.

Now I know you're stressed and I done made you read this xtra long post,but I felt like I needed to say something to you front the heart. My heart. Hope you feel better tomorrow..Remember, I'll be
praying for you.

Lovebabz said...

Hi EB,
Girl there are a lot of men out there who are not like this. There are a lot of decent, mature, lovin gmen out there. Larry had some good qualities. He just doesn't like who he is and decided to make those closes to him pay for it.

Hello Keith,
Yes Iwish I could say I am sorry. But I am not sorry. It felt good to blog this out loud! Now I can clean-up and keep moving. I fyou have been lurking then you know I am a huge fan of prayer. Ok maybe not today...LOL!

Yes do pray for me. A good stong restorative prayer! Thank you kindly. Tomorrow will be decidedly different.

pserendipity said...

Well, Larry, I guess yo little punk azz heeeerd dat! Dang, lovebabz, you can still call the rideout red phone, but ummm, you might roll too hard for me! :-)

Del's Baby Girl said...

Stay in that moment as long as you need. Sometimes we feel guilty for speaking truth to 'perceived power', but don't.
I look forward to your reflection on this moment. You are always introspective and thoughtful, that's how I know you'll be fine.

Del's Baby Girl said...

Oh....and FUCK YOU LARRY! LOL! (I had to get some of that)

Lovebabz said...

Girl, I am not afraid of him. I am tired of his mentally unstable shit.

Del's Baby Girl,

You are too funny! My Sister Lo cracked up on that last one! Tomorrow the real healing begins.

Mizrepresent said...

Well, i'm with you on this gurl, FUCK'em! BIGTIME!

Monique said...

That's right Babz! Cuss his out and keep moving. You obviously can tell who's still holding on.

Lovebabz said...

Hey MizR,
Sometime folks can mistake your kindness for weakness. Not anymore.

You know you just get tired of being bullied. And he likes to do it in secret because he can't handle public scruitny. He honeslty thought that if he came over here and shared his version of his story that what? Why? He doesn't know my blog fam. So much for moving on.

Tomorrow is a new day.

A Go Bytch said... go b***h you know I've been out of the loop with this hurricane crap. But...I think that was a good idea to put it out there...that way he can't hold anything over your head.

Go B.

Lovebabz said...

Hey AGB,

I hope all is well. I know you have some weather challenges. YOu know I am holdin gyou all in my prayers.

Yes, he is one to hold things and use them against me. I just got tired of that kind of bullying. That kind of intimidation. I am just sad for my kids. They miss their Dad and he doesn't even care. He is so self absorbed.

He can't get this time back and one day their feelings for him will dim away.

LadyLee said...

Tell em how you REALLY feel, BABZ!!

I tjink we are alike in that we keep things bottled up and then SPLAT... it just all comes out at once.

I know your shoulders feel a little lighter today... they ought to if they don't

Lovebabz said...

Yes I do indeed feel lighter.

Now the real healing can begin.

clnmike said...

Whoa, Im out.

Monica said...


Aunt Jackie said...

well oh my damn...that was a mouthful, and venting is good. it' gets stuff out into the open instead of holding it close to our chest where it can suffocate us!

let the healing begin!

Lovebabz said...

Hey Clnmike,
Come back on another day!

I got nothing else to run from.

Happy Birthday AJ,
I hope you like liked the Hallmark E-card!

Yes we have to purge sometimes to begin again!

Kin'shar said...

DAMN SWEETS....SLOW DOWN. I know how you feel, men are something else. They want to do what they want to do and allow you to do nothing. Men can be so controlling and especially when it comes to your children...they use the children to control you or should I say us. I totally am feeling you...

how are you, first time here!

flutter said...

hey Larry! Fuck off!


Babz friends.

Lovebabz said...

Hello Kin'Shar,
Ahh yes you are so right. I am better not that I purged all the bile. Come back another day...I promise there will be no bile!

You are so my girlfriend! Girlfriends know how to pick a side and be down for the fight!

Ensayn1 said...

Lovebabz, You are on fire on this one! I commend the "buss 'em in the mouth" verbal beat down you are giving! I feel your strength on this one, and I must say this was some powerfule ish here, "But most importantly I was always afraid of me." When we no longer fear ourselves there is nothing in the world we cannot do. Fear is the mind killer!

Angie-Nuvision said...

Babz: You are a tough sistah. Do you really know that? Girl, you are stronger than you think.

MsKnowitAll said...

I'm late with my comment.

But you took out the jagged, rusted knife,

Plunged deep and pulled up!

I'm not mad at you Queen, Warrior Woman! Let out your war cry!