I am not like most folks who demonize fairy tales. I do not believe they are the root cause of all the bad communication issues in relationships. I do believe there is a perception problem and that most folks get it backwards when they look and think about fairy tales.
I believe fairy tales offer a hopefulness about love that seems to be fleeting minute by minute. We never hear stories about ALL FOR LOVE. But for me the biggest misconception about fairy tales is that women are waiting on Prince Charming. Someone to rescue them and treat them like princesses forever and ever and ever.
NO! For me the real story lies in the way we see ourselves and not believing that we are already princesses if you will. No, I do not mean pampered and spoiled, but regal, daring and smart. Imagine if Cinderella had high self esteem. Nothing her stepmother or stepsisters could have said or done would have broken her spirit. The Prince already saw her as beautiful before she glamoured up and went to the ball. The fairy God mother told her too...but Cindy didn't see herself as worthy...she thought if only she had the clothing...the packaging, then she would be worthy and acceptable. When the Prince showed up and saw her in her rags he knew it was her...he didn't see her in rags, all he saw was his one true love. It was never about her clothes! She just had to believe that she was already worthy, good enough regardless of what she wore. The real meaning of the story isn't about Prince Charming, but rather Cinderella understanding that the Prince loved her and saw her as she really was, regal, daring and smart. And that her real beauty had nothing to do with clothes, shoes and a carriage with six white horses. Her real beauty was her spirit, housed in a body that she thought wasn't packaged good enough.
My favorite tale is Beauty and the Beast. It is the best example I know in accepting love as it shows up. It is easy to love folks who are beautiful and well put together. Always looking like they are minutes from a Vogue photo shoot. But is takes real spirit to see beyond the physical and to look with an open heart. It is easy to allow outside forces to dictate what our choices ought to be. There is so much in the world that would narrow our perceptions of who we are and what love looks like. It is easy to sit alone night after night wondering where love is. We miss out on so much by our own design and actions. We let the world tell us who we are rather than listening to ourselves and trusting our hearts and minds.
Love does not wait on time...it waits on welcome--a course in miracles
I am taking a page from the fairy tales, I am raising my sword of honor, I am jumping on my trusty steed and off I go into the world already in love! Happily EVER NOW!