For the last two weekends I have been to San Francisco and Atlanta. A good time was had by me!
But now I have to turn my attention to my immediate life. The last couple of weeks have been very enlightening. I learned that I could do some things that were terrifying... 1) take the lead on my divorce proceedings...I was so empowered! 2)I have a real affinity for Atlanta. 3) I am letting go of My Crush. 4) I am launching ALL my projects with all my oars in the water.
I was due in court on Tuesday and I haven't hired an attorney yet and I was freaking out because I just couldn't go in there in ignorance. Well my "True Love Friend" J. Jetson ...a attorney got me up to speed...yep I am quick like that. I filed my case management review and the financial disclosure. I called my Ex' attorney had a brief conversation...he was very cordial. I faxed over the documents and VIOLA! I handled my shit! Now let me back up, I called my Ex last week to see what he wanted to do in the proceedings around child care/custody and I asked if he would be willing to contribute to the private school tuition. He said NO! then proceeds to tell me he is paying child support and that's it and he is not paying alimony. Now I am not asking for alimony. Never did, never was asking for alimony. But private school is expensive. So thanks to him, my fighting spirit has returned!
Atlanta does it for me in a big way. Blog Brother Fitzgerald was on the phone with me Friday, searching homes that he thought I would like...and I did. It was so good to laugh and talk about the vibe and glamour of Atlanta with someone who used to live there and could live there again. I put that desire in the universe!
If I learned nothing else over the last few years is that all I have is right now. And there is no convincing in love. So back to my Love List--100 things I want in my next lover/soul mate/spouse to remind myself that I do not have to convince anyone that I am lovely enough to want to spend time with. Either you know within the first few moments of talking to me or you don't. I am not in the convincing-anyone-I-am-lovable business. Being rejected by my Crush hurt...but not like being hit by a car kind of hurt...smile. My Crush was good in the months preceding our meeting. Talking to him everyday, several times a day was good for my well-being. It gave me an outlet for all my romantic fantasies. I think in hindsight that's what it was supposed to be. Of course we will remain acquaintances...friends even. But he is not the one for me and I clearly see it. And I don't believe I was thinking he would be. Oh, I still like him...just not more than I like my self...respectfully.
The past few weeks have stretched me. I am very happy this morning. Very happy indeed!