I am leaving. I am not sure I will be back. I think I will. It is my goal and intention to come back. I am not sure. I need a break. I need something more than all these words suffocating me. I hurt. I ache.
I have been standing in my loneliness for so long that I can't remember what it is to not feel lonely. I have be handling it. Pressing on and holding it down for a very long time. I am without question, strong and resilient. I am nothing if not resilient. Sojourner incarnate.
My life can sometimes get the better of me...right now it is. I am surrendering to what is. I have got to sit and rest and be quiet and not talk. I am weakened. This is the hardest truth to tell. My compass is broken. I am unsure in my steps.
I can't stop crying. I can't stop crying over stupid shit, major shit, SHIT. I don't know who can hold me, who can hold me up. I am not so sure anyone can. I am not so sure of too much.
What little I know is that Love lives in me. I do not doubt the depth and wealth of love in me.
So I am closing the house (blog) for the rest of the summer and perhaps the crispness of the coming Fall will stir me, move me, inspire me. And I may return with new vigor and a light heart, open and welcoming once again.
I turn my attention inward to my heart and soul. To listen for the divine. To fill my mind with healing words. To pray, contemplate, and discern what to do next.
There is a season
And a time for every purpose,