Monday, June 2, 2008


As I said I was going to stop this body hatred. I am stopping this unhealthy feeling about my body. I am going to change my mind about this body and work hard at undoing the negative talk.

I am going to stand naked in my mirror and I am going to tell all the parts of my body that I hate, that I actually love them. The very fat tummy, the very fat thighs. the fat upper arms, the round middle. I am loving it and honoring this body. I will no longer look at these parts in disgust. I will look lovingly over this naked body and be grateful everything works.

I can not be defined by how I look. I have to be defined how I go about the world in love. Living in love. How can I let love rule if I keep running the negative tape in my head about how this body is unattractive. That is not loving. This is conditioning of self-hatred. It starts early and grows and grows and stays with you like a nasty virus. We start the negative talk with "I'll be happy once I lose 20 lbs" "Oh once I drop all this weight then I will be happy" Or we pick ourselves apart because it's easier to do than admire and love our body image. Imagine if we all just said: I LOVE MY BODY without any ifs, ands, or buts. Imagine if we stop comparing our bodies to other bodies., especially to movie stars, singers and video vixens. I am not Vivica Fox, I look more like Jill Scott. I do not look like Mariah Carey, I look more like know the full figure comedian.

I am who I am. Now it doesn't mean I don't get out and move this body...I am. It doesn't mean that I eat and drink with abandon...I don't. It means that I change my mind about how I think about how I look. It means that I focus on health and not just weight-loss. It starts with exercising with the mindset that it's good for my heart , good for my lungs, good for overall health.

This is the beginning of loving my body. I must do this. I cannot accept someone else loving this body, making love to me if I do not. I have to come fully into this LOVE. I have to come kindly to myself and to this body.

Speaking of body love check out my new hang-out: The Pussy Chats check it for the chats stay for the hot and sexy music playlist!


CapCity said...

I LUV it! I LUV U!

I tell my least fave body parts that they're like "bad kids" - there IS no such thang as a bad child. Children given that label have always ended up being my fave students - they just require more attention & guidance than the others.... So, those "bad" body parts need more guidance & attention so they can grow into the healthy loved Body parts;-). and u KNOW raisin' kids ain't easy - so raisin' self-awareness & self-luv ain't easy. but then what fun is easy, really? ;-)

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

I like this post. But, you first have to stop calling the body parts "fat". That word in itself has a negative vibe ;)

I could have written this, I have had negative views of my body for a long time. People are shocked because I have never had a problem with weight, but trust that ALL women have some issues with their body...even if it isn't "size". (Maybe it comes from western culture's idea of beauty?)Hmmm...I feel a blog topic coming on...

Continue to grow in love, Lovebabz.

So...Wise...Sista said...

Beautiful :)

Eb the Celeb said...

thx 4 letting me in on the pussy chats... I'm concocting up something special for the spot

Lovebabz said...

Hey Capcity!
It is a work in progress. Changing ht emind to see things differently!

Hey Kay C, The Quite Storm,
It is amazing, how deep the hatred is and how easy we just slip into it. But I determined to shut it down.

Thank you very much!

I can't wait to see what you come up with! I know it will hot!

sista gp said...

I'm a current 14/16 (max size) with a goal of size 8. Previously I wanted to lose weight because of the way I thought people saw me, but now because I want to feel healthier. Thankfully, I have no medical issues of glucose, cholesterol, or blood pressure and I want to keep it that way. My son is becoming more active and I want to be able to keep up with him.
Great motivational post!

Aunt Jackie said...

there was an exercise i did when i was recovering from anorexia years ago. Each day when I showered I would tell each body part how I loved it and why I appreciated it, silently in the shower as I was soaping up.

sometimes I'd cry, sometimes I'd laugh, sometimes I wouldn't feel like doing it but that exercise helped make me feel whole again.

Now that I am recovered I can say that I need this body, and its fluff to keep me warm and get me thru this life of mine...

loving ourselves takes practice.


Lovebabz said...

Hey Sister GP,
I am actually down a dress size--HOORAY! which is amazing. I used to be a stunning size 14 which was perfect for me.

I would love to see that again before I die...LOL!

Hey Aunt Jackie,
Yes, I am practicing. It is hard word. I ahve to be mindful all the time. And pay attention to myself.
Thanks for sharing.

Princess Tinybutt said...

yes, yes, my queen!! love EVERY bit of your body. look in the mirror and tell her, every part of her, tht she is da bomb!!!


Anonymous said...

Yup! Love yourself. I think most women gripe about their bodies. We might even tug at stuff and go ew when we look in the mirror LOL -I know I do. But at the end of the day, hating your body will only make things worse. Loving it will allow you to take off an excess in a healthy way, in which you can FEEL a whole lot better (internally) and it will stay off. That's the beauty. Good luck ;)

P.S. When I lived alone (lol), I would be naked as much as possible. lol Being able to see your body helps a lot more. What I used to do was layer up so much that I was hiding my body from myself. Being naked helped me to like it better. I'm not where I am or should be and people think I'm crazy LOL but I'm getting there :)

And I love your blog and your writing style. I'm linking it from mine.