Friday, June 6, 2008


Since my ex husband left. My children have been paying close attention to what is NOT being taken care of at our house. The Yard, back and front. My EX always took care of the yard. He was very competitive about it with our neighbors...MEN. Anyway, he would start early, lay out all equipment and tools. I would make pitcher of ice water and serve him periodically as he worked. But now all that is over and the yards are my responsibility. I was very reluctant to even deal with the outside of my house. I felt inadequate. Then my kids started with "Why Don't you Call Daddy" "Daddy knows how to take care of the yard" Well shit, that's all the motivation I needed to reclaim MY YARD!

I decided as the GROWN WOMAN/Warrior Queen of this castle I cut the grass, cleaned out the shed and inventoried all the tools that were left behind. I bought and built a new lawn mower, I already have all manner of rakes, and other gardening tools....and I am learning their use. OK, I did freak out when I found a dead bird in my shed---that required a call to my Brother BOB-O to come and get it out. I am brave, but even I have my limits! I cleaned my gas grill, repaired it and got it up and running. I bought new patio furniture, a new hammock, new umbrellas and new outside dishes!

I hired a guy to clean out my front flower beds...they look amazing. I am planting ROSES! PEONIES and what ever else I see. I am taking back my yard!

The truth of the matter is, I needed my children to see and understand that I can take care of things. That I have power tools and I know how to use them! That with a determined spirit, a good computer and a phone, you can do anything. So when I heard them talking to their friends on the front porch yesterday, I heard them say "Our Mom can do anything She is very brave'! I went to tears because if nothing else they need to know that nothing is out of their reach! I know it too, I got a yard that is starting to look really good and I did it!

1000 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
60. Have a big celebration wedding with peacocks, doves, African Drummers, and lots of music! ( I was married at City Hall with a JP on my lunch hour)
61. Grow a variety of Roses (Thanks
KO Johnson!for R Is For Roses)
62. Cruise the Mediterranean
63. Take my kids to Disney (sigh)
64. Take a family photo with my Sister and Brothers and our kids.


sista gp said...

I feel ya, girl. When hubby and I "shacked up", he cooked all the time. After we married, I asked, "Why don't you cook anymore?" His response, "That's why I married you." Of course, I responded, "OK, don't ask me to help you with the yard work."
It has been 10 years and he hasn't asked yet (lol), but when he became a road warrior for a time, I had no choice to take care of the baby, the house, and the yard. The lawn mower was easy, but the weed whacker, brush trimmer, edger, and blower were a chore. Some had separate oil and gasoline compartments and others took a mixture gas and oil. You had to make sure you primed the fuel, properly adjusted the choke, and the rope pulls would make an Amazon out of any woman.

More power to you and thanks for your comments, I focused and found them...(new post last night)

Lovebabz said...

Oh Sista GP,
You already know! I am determined to handle this yard. Thank God for my Mexican gardener who comes by and checks. He is so kind and sweet and doesn't charge too much for his time!

Mizrepresent said...

Oh Lovebabz, i so hear you...i've been receiving those damning HOA letters about my grass, my weeds, my yard and i do my best to keep up. I'm getting better at, me an my son when he's's coming along, and i feel like you, i feel empowered...i can do this! Now i just got to learn how to work that trimmer a little better, lol. Fixing things, gurl, i'm becoming dangerous with a hammer and nail, lol! I'll, we'll be the better for it! And i also thank God for my beautiful black yard man...who really hooks my yard up on his visits! I sure hope he comes today!

Ms Smack said...

Fantastic. My girl once said 'get dad to come around and put it together' but I'll be damned if I'd do that.

Fantastic post :)

Lovebabz said...

Sister MizR,
Yes it is hard, but not impossible. I mean now that I am committed to it I am doing it. besides when EX comes over he can see that shit didn't shut down becasue he's not here! LOL!

Miss Smack,
After I heard my kids say that a few times, I was like oh Hell NO, I got this! Now they have new respect for their Mother! Talk about empowering!

The Artist In Me said...

Kudos to you! And I sincerely mean that.

I know a bit about this post. As I clean the outside (which I hate to do...I'm a girly convert), I often think about when I will be blessed with a husband that can take care of it. Not that I can't, but I would rather bring him refreshments as you used too...LOL!

Be blessed!

Lovebabz said...

Hey Sister AIM,
It is quite liberating to take care of MY yard and MY house! But I must admit I rather like having someone else do! LOL!

MsKnowitAll said...


Girl power! I really like this post and I can feel you were empowered! I know the feeling, the feeling of accomplishment when you complete a task and you can see the benefits of your labor.

Your children are your cheerleaders!

This reminds me of an article I read in O Magazine last year entitled:

"I'm Going To Paint That Man Right Out Of My House"

I simply love your "bucket list". You inspire me to start one.

Lovebabz said...

Hello Sister Msknowitall!

Girl, where I can draw inspiration from...I am doing it! My kids are so funny and they need me to be a Warrior Queen!

I gotta be honest I am not in love with every aspect of my yard labor...but I am committed to making the yard beautiful just so my children can see that I can handle it!

the prisoner's wife said...

this sounds so cliche, BUT...


my car door handle broke last week & i've been waiting around for my older bro to fix it. well, i'm still waiting and SO annoyed at havin to roll down my window JUST to open the door! you have reminded me that 1)i'm handy enough 2)smart enough and 3)capable enough of fixing it myself.

i'm so glad your kids know that whatever it got it.

Tony OH said...

Good, now I can run the Grill! :0)

No Liquor... I may accidentally Lick

Lovebabz said...

YES! I got this! My kids are starting to believe me when I say it...LOL! Sistr, fix your door handle! Drop by Autozone and they will tell you what to do, or go look up your car on the internet and search for your door handle-- how to put it on!

Oh Tony OH!
Ok I have never heard that corny joke before! But you are welcome to the grill!

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Praise God Sistah Lovebabz!!! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!!!!.....Not only is your yard looking good, but you showed your children a lesson they will never forget....I bet it did feel good to hear them call you brave....I'm proud of you...

I'm almost inspired to put my air conditioners in myself...but think I'll wait on my step dad!!! lol....I can do it and I know I can...but some things I just prefer a man to do...and since I don't have one I borrowed my mother's man to take care of the task at my momma always said "women shouldn't be lifting heavy stuff cause it can mess them up down yonder'....and I still have babies to carry in the future...I know... I know...I use that as excuse alot but hey it works for me!! Peace & Blessings

Lovebabz said...

Sister Keisha,

I ain't mad at you! Girl I am with you...sometimes you gotta let someone else do the heavy lifting!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

not the power tools lol

Lovebabz said...

Yes Torrance,
The power tools! And I know how to use them too!

Monica said...

Don't you feel good when you look at the finished product?

My husband is gone like twenty five days a month. My grass grows so tall that I could probably cornrow it, with pretty designs too. If I could braid that is! I digress!

Some tips on yard maintenance:
1. Don't cut the grass when it is wet!
2. Edge first
3. Use the blower after edging and blow all everything back onto the grass
4. Cut the grass in one direction and in a different direction the next time you mow. I'm sure there is a reason behind doing it this way, besides the fact it makes the grass look pretty afterwards, but I have not bothered to find out why.
5. Hire a landscaper!

Angie-Nuvision said...

Do you know what that means?
Girl, you didn't tell me that song was about you. LOL!!!

Work that thing out.

I always feel independent when I go outside and water my yard. I always wonder if my neighbors are looking at me, trying to figure out how this blind chick is out there watering the grass. Although it's a pretty easy task, I always feel like I'm taking that step and doing something that conventional standards would tell me not to do.
Plus, I'm very afraid of bugs. So, me going outside and watering the grass is a really big deal.

CapCity said...

i'mma BE there this summer to check on dem grillin' skillz o' yourn;-). LOL!!!

Lovebabz said...

Hi Monica!
Indeed Sister, I feel great about the almost finished product...yards are on-going! And I like your #5!

Hey Sister Angie,
Yes I am feeling very independent! Nothing like a goal.
That is too funny about you out there watering your grass and your neighbors wondering how you are doing it!

Hey Capcity,
Welcome home! And yes you will be here this Summer grilling right along with US!