I have been thinking about intimacy all week. I have been looking over my history of love and the choices I have made. My teens, 20's, 30's and even 40's. I am now midway through my 40's. 45 to be exact. That is a good amount of time to ponder over. My intimacy history is full. Where I stand now is the best possible place to be. I am choosing the loveships I want to have with my circle of "True Love" friends.
1. the state of being intimate.
2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
3. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan.
4. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names.
5. an amorously familiar act; liberty.
6. sexual intercourse.
7. the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room.
8. privacy, esp. as suitable to the telling of a secret: in the intimacy of his studio.
According to the definitions there are a great many ways to be intimate, close, personal in our lives all the time. It is not some out of reach concept, it is the everyday connections we have to loved ones. I rather like that because it underlines what I already believe about love. Love is all around. It is not arriving, it is already here. I am already in love, loved and loving! My relationships/loveships are close, personal, intimate.
There is no sense in seeking what is already before me. Being still and opening my eyes is perhaps the best exercise in counting my blessings I know. Looking for love is ridiculous. Wishing for intimacy is even more ridiculous. The truth is what is masquerading as the desire for love is really touch deprivation. I am calling things what they are. I am already loved, I already love and I believe myself to be loving. I have personal, close relationships. What is missing is the physical acts that bind us to another, connects us to another. But even in saying that I have to acknowledge that I am physically touched. My kids hug me all the time. My "True Love" friends hug me all the time. No, it is not a substitute for a lover, but it is a physical connection..very satisfying.
So I move one more step closer to my divinity. I excavate another layer of myself and in doing that I become more of who I am supposed to be.