Thursday, June 12, 2008

DEFINING INTIMACY

I have been thinking about intimacy all week. I have been looking over my history of love and the choices I have made. My teens, 20's, 30's and even 40's. I am now midway through my 40's. 45 to be exact. That is a good amount of time to ponder over. My intimacy history is full. Where I stand now is the best possible place to be. I am choosing the loveships I want to have with my circle of "True Love" friends.

Intimacy definitions:
1. the state of being intimate.
2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
3. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan.
4. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names.
5. an amorously familiar act; liberty.
6. sexual intercourse.
7. the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room.
8. privacy, esp. as suitable to the telling of a secret: in the intimacy of his studio.

According to the definitions there are a great many ways to be intimate, close, personal in our lives all the time. It is not some out of reach concept, it is the everyday connections we have to loved ones. I rather like that because it underlines what I already believe about love. Love is all around. It is not arriving, it is already here. I am already in love, loved and loving! My relationships/loveships are close, personal, intimate.

There is no sense in seeking what is already before me. Being still and opening my eyes is perhaps the best exercise in counting my blessings I know. Looking for love is ridiculous. Wishing for intimacy is even more ridiculous. The truth is what is masquerading as the desire for love is really touch deprivation. I am calling things what they are. I am already loved, I already love and I believe myself to be loving. I have personal, close relationships. What is missing is the physical acts that bind us to another, connects us to another. But even in saying that I have to acknowledge that I am physically touched. My kids hug me all the time. My "True Love" friends hug me all the time. No, it is not a substitute for a lover, but it is a physical connection..very satisfying.

So I move one more step closer to my divinity. I excavate another layer of myself and in doing that I become more of who I am supposed to be.

17 comments:

Tony OH said...

Sounds like Intimacy with a group can get a little Freaky! :0) I think I prefer the other definition...lol

What's up Lady?

Lovebabz said...

Hey My Friend!

Only you would think freaky...LOL!

All is well.

professor said...

you are so right...a vibrator totally doesn't do it...lol...you need the intimate touch of another...

KELSO'S NUTS said...

NUTMEG: I'm with Tony on this one. A menage-a-trois is where I draw the line, but I'm shy that way!

But it's a rainy day here and I have a sinus headache and you know at our gaff we always look at the dark side anyway. So, I've decided to let my inner Russian out and lament things political. I was actually writing Tony Oh who had made a joke about No_slappz and that put me on an introspective journey and I realized how much I like NOT being American but how sick it is up there and how important it is that Obama be elected president because John McCain will create lots of problems for us down here and in the end will only destroy the US and I was wondering how much I'd really care. So, I'm going to be very long winded here and take you off your healthy introspection into the bowels of what WILL happen should Barack Obama not be president. I'm glad Obama didn't say this because it would have been political suicide but Rev Wright was on the money. In looking at my own life I found that Jeremiah Wright tape loop not damning of Obama but rather inspiring to hear the words I felt in my bones spoken by AN OFFICIAL AMERICAN CHRISTIAN. Luckily, I don't live in America and down here everybody liked Wright's word. Had I been in the states, people would have thought I was as crazy as No-slappz practically -- a White guy who liked Wright.

It was a response from me to some Iraq vet jerk who was voting for McCain because he thought Obama was planning to cut his benefits but he had to know it wasn't true. I think he's so sick he wants another tour of duty in the killing zone.

Why shouldn't everyone be as enfuriated by the prospect of PRESIDENT McCAIN as I am?

I think I'll explain the problem with McCain's plans for South America here. I checked in with the military analyst at my place (I'm not going to violate his privacy but he is a retired General in the United States Army and is very serious). His read on the Democratic versus Republican plan for Veterans' benefits is that it's not close. The Democratic plan is much more generous.

In the sense that Obama is looking to end the wars, not start new ones, well that's a different story. If you favor war, you MUST vote for McCain. I don't know enough about Iran which will likely be the 3rd front and the newest war to offer any opinions about the likelihood of success or failure.

In McCain's own words, he will be using Colombia and Peru as bases of operations to launch invasions into Venezuela, Ecuador and Bolivia. This is a plan for "reconquest". Be clear. If you want to draw a shit salary for the privilege of being led into a butcher shop, that right belongs to everyone.

Let me explain how difficult as task this will be. Let's leave aside the Peru-Ecuador-Bolivia part of it, because that's the smaller part but I'll get back to it at some point because that offensive is less daunting than the other one and has propaganda value.

This is the big task that awaits. US forces must first set up bases of operations in the US "ally" Colombia. The only reason that Colombia is a US ally because the Colombian people loathe Americans with a passion I've never seen before anywhere. Panamanians just laugh at Americans. They don't think they're worthy of hatred; they just feel Americans are lame.

So, let's say Uribe welcomes US forces into Colombia. Well, it's not like his approval rating is 100%. There is a strong opposition and something of a red state/blue state thing there. IF for some reason, there were a no confidence vote an Uribe was bounced for Samper or Gaviria. US forces would not be welcome anywhere in Colombia.

But let's say that a US force even as big as 150,000 all told came in. They would be welcome in the small towns in areas where the FARC has no power. The big cities are the problem. There are 4 Bagdads in Colombia: Bogota, Medellin, Cali and Barranquilla.

Colombia does not have weapons of mass destruction but the number of guns and the amount of semtex in those cities is mind-bending. Furthermore, as in any large city with a kind of European way of looking at things, the residents of the big cities, rich and poor, are not going to feel like they are aiding an ally. They are going to fell like they are being occupied. The culture will not allow it. It would not be as easy a job as Iraq has been (MISSION ACCOMPLISHED) because there wont' be any fighting in the cities among Colombians but rather all Costenos, Calenos, Paisos and Antioquenos fighting against the US. Big city urban warfare in which the people are more or less like smaller Russians: well educated people, none of whom have any fantasy of living a full natural life, and think of what might seem the "softest" place for GI JOE to take. The wealthy Jewish areas and the country clubs. Think again. Wealthy Colombian Jews have PRIVATE ARMIES. Wealthy Colombian Jews have a lot of guns and a lot of Semtex. Wealthy Colombian Jews are not like Woody Allen. They are like Dutch Schultz. Muslim neithborhood? Same deal. But Muslims in South America are not the Muslims you've come to know and hate. They hate America and Muslim extremism equally but have no problem whatsoever with Jews. Well, if the Jewish and Muslim neighborhoods are going to be hard to deal with in 4 major cities, what neighborhoods does that leave exactly? The poor neighborhood on the outskirts. Don't worry. They don't have private armies or anything. They are a public army with even more guns and semtex.

If leaving Bagdad's Green Zone is a problem, think 4 cities just as big with fiercer people who have more weapons. And these are supposed to be your allies.

Let's say by some miracle of fate, GI JOE is able to occupy and subdue Bogota, Medellin, Cali and Barranquilla. Well congratulations for making it into the round of 32 and the chance for the remaining American troop who survived in tact plus reinforcement to try to cross over the heavily guarded very rough border into Venezuela. The big prize, right? CHAVEZ=SADDAM=HITLER, yeah?

Good luck is all I can say against a 600,000 man army in a country so wealthy that it could just buy 1/4 of the United State with a click of a computer mouse. It would be the worst disaster in US military history. You would be EXACTLY Hitler trying to take Stalingrad but with fewer men and fewer weapons. Iraq seems rather easy to me compared to this task.

Let's say that McCain a military genius on the order of Alexander The Great, Alaric The Goth, Hannibal, Patton, Wellington, Montgomery and Zhukov all rolled into one and US forces gain some ground in Venezuela.

What would the Venezuelan respone be? Listen and do what Bill O'Reilly tells them to do? Not quite. The Venezuelan central bank would void itself of every US governement security it holds right into the market place and put a freeze on all USD transactions.

What's next? Well, I can only write as one person who's spent a fair amount of time in international finance. I would notice $400 billion USD flooding the market and I would join the stampede to get rid of every USD I had. I take any currency, commodity, property, intermediate product, finished product, great piles of dung that could be used to heat homes, whatever so long as it had some store of intrinsic value.

I certainly would not be the only one to do this. Every central bank around the world except for China and Saudi Arabia would do the same.

Well, so? As your leader put it. So, indeed. You'd be begging the Russians to drop nukes on the USA to make what was happening stop.

What would be happening? Well, the USD now has no value at all. The USA has a cost of capital of about 50% or more. Every city in town in the USA is in flames. There's no food or potable water. It's Blade Runner with no helicopters.

Do I care? Yes, I do care. I want world peace more than anything. The next wish I have is for world prosperity. I have no stake in seeing the economic holocaust destroy the US. I'm not exactly American but I was born there. Unlike D-CAP I love major league baseball. I would miss that a lot. I wouldn't miss my friends or family because I'm expecting this and have prepared.

My friends and family would be with me far away from the US. As for the rest, I kind of care, sort of, but not really. In the way I feel bad about those who died at Ypres or The Battle Of The Bulge...not I care more about those people. It would be like how most people feel about Darfur or RWanda. I'd think it was tragic. I'd still get up in the morning and shave and have breakfast and do my work, wherever I was.

Let's contrast Mr McCain's plan with Mr Obama's plan shall we? Mr Obama's plan for Colombia is to begin a truth-and-reconciliation process in support of Uribe in order to get the FARC and the Paramilitaries to get together, stop fighting and start negotiating. That has a familiar ring to it doesn't it? Oh, yeah, it was good old Mr "Baggage" himself, Bill Clinton who brought peace to Northern Ireland that way. Man, that Clinton was just a disgrace, wasn't he?

Obama on Venezuela. More or less like Clinton on Venezuela. Thanks for the crude oil. And for CITGO marketing. Pleasure doing business. See you next month. Bye.

Will someone please explain to me why there's even a question as to who should be president. Please. Explain it so I understand. The world is screaming for Barack Obama to be elected. Just so we don't ponder these scenarios every day and plan every day. It's wearying.

What would Obama be like as a president? I can't say but I know he'll try his best to find the peaceful and profitable solution to global problems. He will be looking to cool things off not start more wars. He will do the best he can with very difficult economic circumstances. He'll be up to the task of a tough job. He'll succeed at times and fail at times. What he won't do is burn America to the ground because of some obession with war.

By any measure you care to examine, Obama is McCain's superior. This election should be by all rights a pure landslide. An absolute ass-fucking. 69% Obama, 31% McCain. Obama by 200 electoral votes.

I think it will be Obama by 2% in the popular vote and will come down to 10 recounts in Ohio. Or McCain by 2%. Do ya think Obama's skin color and peaceable views might have something to do with it? I do. I think there will be 125mmm White Christians who will be infuriated by a close Obama win. And I can't guess what would follow that.

I know I'm whistling in the dark here and no one cares up there what happens in South America. But I have a proposition. You are allow not to care about anything at all. You are encouraged in fact to treat this as reality TV. But at least vote the way you would if a reality TV show requested a public vote. Look at the candidates' physical appearances and the sounds of their voices. You have a reasonably pleasant, kind of scholarly young man with a dark complexion and a nice baritone speaking voice. You have a withered and disfigured mean old man with a high-pitched squeaky voice.

What would you do if it were reality tv. You'd vote the shrivelled gimp off the island, silly!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

sounds like me and my stomach - jus joking albeit true

Lovebabz said...

Hey professor,
Sister you already know...but what's a girl to do?

My dearest Kelso,
Where to begin? Hhmm. Americans under this Bush Admin. are afraid. After 9/11 the possibility of an act of terrorism on this soil was unheard...we like the homegrown stuff--the KKK, skinheads, No Child Left Behind legislation.

O f course Obama is the better choice. But there is this fear that what if... America is attacked, the terrorist cells are activated, American Idol is cancelled. I am convinced tha is Americans say the body bags of young men and women killed in this ridiculous war, then there would be marching the streets. But out of mind is out of site. Keep Americasn dumb and numb with TV and insepid movies. Hey I am a huge TV fan. But not for the sake of reading and paying attention.

I am alos concived that the idea of politics is very distasteful to most...the masses. They have delusions of back rooom deals and shady characters coming out of the wood works and offers made that can't be refused. OK, this is all true, nonetheless it shouldn't scare folks from the political process.

Americans have been fed a war diet for the last 8 years, like most diets it will be hard to eat regular food again...feel me?

McCain wants his own war to mismanage...why not South America...pick a country and go start some shit. Peru, Columbia OK.

I am watching this very closely because Obama is going to have to bring it and he has to make God-fearing LIBERALS get up off their manicured lawns and book groups to really help win the White House. HC can deliver those soccer Moms, Obama has to get their husbands and exhusbands.

Love the realty show analogy! Hell yes he would have been voted off by round 3!

Torrance,
Your love affair is wih you and a well cooked meal! Yes indeed.

MsKnowitAll said...

Hola Lovebabz,

I like how you peeled away the layers, revealing the gateway to your destiny. This an awesome post.

CapCity said...

yea, nothing like the touch of another mentally or physically!

Tony OH said...

Come on over... I've put up a new post... It's all photos, I think you'll Like :0)

Mizrepresent said...

I love it Lovebabz, peel away those layers and live!

Lovebabz said...

Hello msknowitall!
Thank you. It is a process to peel away all the stuff that keeps you from the best life ever.

Capacity,
I am a woman for touch. It makes a huge difference in my disposition.

OH Tony OH!
The photos are great...well done MAster photographer!

Stephen Bess said...

Examination of self is a good thing. To me, intimacy is beautiful and it takes love and paitence.

Lovebabz said...

Hey Stephen Bess,
I spend a great deal of time self-examining and I am all the better for it!

the prisoner's wife said...

brava diva.

i have no doubts that with all the positive/love energy you are pumping out, the love you crave & deserve is right around the corner. just tying this into the post about your bro's joke...and i think you ARE practicing what you preach. it's all about being open to the possibility, and i believe you are there.

Princess Tinybutt said...

peel away babz. thank you for being my example,my guide in this self imposed task, for showing me what this looks like, looks like in the best way really. oh, it's hard and hurts and is ugly sometimes. but freedom. yes.

smooches!

Lovebabz said...

TPW,
I am so open to the possibilities of everything!

Princess,
Trying to live the life I want. Trying to love the way I want.

Danie said...

Again...true words are spoken by you...Since the end of my marriage I realize how disconnected I was from all the other things in my life that made me feel alive (my friends, my family, even my children to a certain degree). Now that "the rain is gone", I am reconnecting with family and friends. I am a better mom because I am a happier woman...it doesn't replace my need for a man's touch but...a girl can still wait patiently...right?