I know better. And this is what I know: I can't afford to jet off to some exotic locale for a week long vacation. I can't afford to dash off for a long weekend. So I must create vacation space in my mind and in my home. I must find opportunities to chill out and relax right where I live and breathe. Whining about going to somewhere other than here is distracting and keeps me from focusing on what I can do right now and right here. Now I am not saying going off for vacation is wasting time. I would love to live it up on a tropical beach and have fancy drinks brought to me poolside. The realities of my current life says I can't hop to the Caribbean right now. So Staycation is my destination right now...not forever.
More thoughts on Faith Tested
These last few days were more difficult than I could even speak about. I let myself slip into a terrible place and I couldn't seem to pull out. The gift here, is that I realized I was choosing to be in that funky dangerous place. I knew better and that didn't seem to matter. What mattered was that I let the pain set the direction for my life. I let the pain rule my spirit. Everything I did these last few days was from a place of pain...all my thoughts, all my actions, rooted in pain. This is not where I wanted to be. This is not where I am staying. I needed that bad patch of emotional mess. I needed to have that test to see if I truly believed what I said I believed. All that old mess that I dredged up was more distraction. As long as I stayed stuck in it, I could use it as an excuse not to get myself back on my plan. I was using outside mess to keep me from moving forward toward my very best life. Being afraid to go after your dream is what stops us all. This is why some people fail and some achieve. I see that in my own life. I do not need any other examples, my life is my example of what I need to see and learn from.
I am taking a break from this blog. I will however, still be over at www.eatdrinkdivorce.com This blog... A Life In Transition will become a place of Happiness. From here on out I am going to chart my happiness and all the things that bring me joy. I am making a choice to surround myself with people, places and things that bring me happiness. I am not going to get caught up in other people's mess. I am done doling out advice on how to live, I am done with having circular conversations with folks about their love lives. I am done spending time with folks who are only interested in wallowing in mess. This is where I make real choices about how I want to live going forward. This is where I make the decision to choose love over fear without hesitation and without looking back. This is where I all out sprint toward my dreams!