Sunday, July 5, 2009

AND SO THE BEGINNING IS NEAR

What seemed like the end of the story...the Love Story. Is really becoming the beginning. We have been hot and heavy for the last several weeks. I can't ever remember a time in my life where I had SEX everyday for a 2 1/2 weeks! It is profoundly beautiful. It is profoundly sacred and sensual and delicious. Each time we were...are entwined it is explosive. EXPLOSIVE!

But I could feel his discontent. His quiet references to his moving away. His vow of celibacy that he is contemplating. I have remained silent and stayed in the moment. I did not ask where we are going or if there was room for me and my children. Yesterday all the feelings between us about what happens next came flooding out. Our first fight...(the best fight I ever had) It started with him saying he was enchanted with me...that he was and has always been enchanted with me. And that he must focus and have a clear head. I was so annoyed because enchanted sounded like this was all a fantasy meeting...a chance encounter on his way to his life. I took serious issue and challenged him to explain. I stood in my life and was clear " if there is no room in your life for me and my children then we are ending this right now"

About a week ago he said: think about what our lives would look like joined. How we could make it happen and how it would affect the children. Everything has a time and a place. Yes. I said I will give it thought...serious thought.

Last night after the explosion (sex) we talked. He was annoyed because he thinks talking about serious matters after the explosion is not a good idea because emotions are high and the intensity is well..intense. But he did talk. He wants a courtship. Beginning with a 90 day serious series of discussion and honest sharing of who we are, and what we are willing to bring to the table. (90 days was my time-frame discussion suggestion) So after 90 days we will know if marriage is the next step.

A courtship? So of course I know this IS God's handiwork...last year I did whole post on being courted. I want to be courted TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: COURTING ME.

And so the beginning is near. We are going to court...he is going to court me. He is going to work on his goals for his life and court me.

The LOVE STORY continues...

11 comments:

Soulpower said...

Ooohhh the explosion, loving that (ok calming down). This is a beautiful story that you're sharing with all of us. You didn't have to but I'm glad you did. Let the courtship begin.

Chick Lit Gurrl said...

This is wonderful...the courtship, that is. It's seriously lacking in today's world. Hoping that all the other important things in a relationship matches with the "explosions." Explosions are great, but without substance, they get old pretty quick.

Praying mega-prayers for you and your love, lady.

Mizrepresent said...

That's a beautiful thing...who wouldn't love to be courted...everything nice and slow. I love it!

flutter said...

that sounds pretty fair, to me.

Solomon said...

So the courtship begins!

Single Mama NYC said...

I just found your blog, courtesy of Rachel (Single Mom Seeking). I am truly moved by you. As a woman, as a Black woman, as a Spirit. I've just read many of your past posts and felt so connected to you . . . your optimism, your strength, your commitment to pulling through your trials for the sake of your children. I see myself in you, but I suppose that's the point; we are all connected, right? So, sister, hoping your day is filled with light, and sending gratitude into the Universe for having found yet another woman who reminds me of the immensity of the human spirit.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

The love story is truly a great story. Enjoy each day, each moment as it comes. No matter the outcome you will have wonderful memories and know that love awaits you when you are open to tthe possibilities.

(((HUGS)))

Her Side said...

I simply can't take my eyes off this story...

His references to celibacy... his "enchantment" with your love story... Does any of this lead back to [his] fear that commitment means the spark will die as "real life" creeps in?

The "high" of a new relationship can be breathtakingly intoxicating. Some chase that feeling from person to person since settling down means that some energy must be spent on mundane logistics like paying bills and mowing the lawn. LOL They miss the uniquely fabulous "enchantments" of doing those little things under the umbrella of a loving, long-term relationship.

I pray this story continues for you and blossoms into a life of love.

MsKnowitAll said...

Sister Lovebabz,

i enjoy your candid expressions, you leave nothing to the imagination, you lay your truth out, simply.

the beginning, the courtship. this is beautiful and i am most happy for you... you both.

one line stood out for me... "I stood in my life and was clear..." it's fine to bask in the moment, but our lives are series of moments & it's good to know what's next on the horizon.

it's also wonderful to see your declarations that were once shouted out to the universe return to you.

(((hugs)))

Dana said...

found you through singlemomseeking :-)

i am really excited to hear how this all develops. i have been seeing someone for about 5 months, and whilst we are taking things at a snails pace (he was divorced a couple years ago), i guess you could say we too are in the courting phase.

i am sending good vibes your way. i pray the love continues to grow even deeper for you too. just keep doing your thing - and never settle for less.

Lovebabz said...

Soulpower,
I am going to journal the courtship and only blog about small parts of it. But yes Gurl...let it begin!

Chick Lit Gurrl,
Youa re exactly right. We must build a foundation, but at some point the explosions will become few and far between (in our 90's) LOL!

MizR,
Nice and slow is what I want right now. I've had fast and furious.

Flutter,
Hello! and yes so far so good!

Solomon,
Yes the courtship begins! I get to do all the lovely things for someone who will truly appreciate it!


Single Mama NYC,
WELCOME! I am so glad you have made you way over here..I love guests! and I love anyone reading Single Mom Seeking! Rachel is AMAZING! and yes we are all connected and thank you kindly for the high praise and prayers. Sending that same loving spirit of goodwill your way!

Kay C The Quiet Storm,
I was made for this loveship...right now :)

Her Side,
I can't take my eyes off this story either. It is grand and I am so at home in it. His concern is that we will be so focused on the excitment that when the high cools off we will be disinterested. We are going SLOW!

MisKnowitAll,
You know how far I have come. You have read my beginning and the middle of this blog. This love I am experiencing couldn't have come if I didn't purge my heart out in this blog. I am in love and I love the way it feels.

Dana,
WELCOME! Any friend reader of Rachel Sarah is welcomed here!
And Good luck on your loveship.