Tuesday, July 7, 2009


So much of what we want for ourselves is based on time...time for love...time to break up ...time to move on.... time to discern.

I am learning that time really has no real relevance to love. As I am fond of saying and repeating from the A Course in Miracles LOVE waits on Welcome...Not on TIME. It means that you can welcome love into your life and heart at any given moment. Not solely when it's convenient for you. The heart is an a amazing thing, it knows how to beat on its own. It does not need us to sit and clock its beats. Love is like that too. If we allow love to set in, it too will thrive.

I am in love with someone who is so conscious of time and planning that I am ready to walk away. When someone is constantly throwing time around what they are really saying is the love that you have to give them in this moment is not what their time allows for. And you have to recognize if someone has real time for love. If they do not and you are not honest then you start the convincing cycle. The place where you do your hardest to make them see that you are worth their time if they would take the time to see you. I have long since decided to give up the convincing mode and I am not going back. You see I am not interested in the potential for love.

I am interested in the now-ness of love. The readiness of love. This is where it gets tricky for people. They think that if they hang in with someone...wait someone out, be accommodating that the love they want will happen. No. This is just holding time....spending time with no real sense of love being showered on you. I am not interested in this either. Using time as barrier against getting the love we all say we want is a cowards way of not living with a full heart. You can not time stamp love. If we could, we all would schedule falling in love at the most opportune time. When we are at our best and our lives our happy and harmonious. But our whispers and prayers for GOD to send someone our way is always in the most desperate of hours....when loneliness is overwhelming and standing alone is painful to the touch. I have been there.

This falling in love time for me is very illuminating. I am grateful for its lessons thus far. I am grateful that I have the ability to live all that I speak. That means not accepting anything less than what I want for my heart and soul. Total, full, deep and abiding love.

I am not afraid to let go of something seemingly good and beautiful when in my heart it does not bring me the love I want, need and deserve.

The questions remain: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?


Big Mark 243 said...

There is something in here that I both agree with and disagree with at the same time.

There is a 'nowness' to love. But it happens 'now' as a result of a willingness to get there. That takes conscious and rational thought. It is at once by chance and by planning ... Dr. Wyer's idea of 'the power of intention' would fit here.

Nowness is the result of letting things happen intentionally? Somehow I can wrap my mind around that notion instead of separating the two ideas.

Anywho, that's me ...

Her Side said...

My dear Lovebabz. Oh how I love your attention to the "code" behind the things people say, and I am a huge supporter of understanding what underlies the spoken word.

I do believe that placing "time" on a budding love is code that a full decision has not emerged, and the worst remedy for that is to enter the "convincing stage." It isn't fair to the person trying to demonstrate the compelling truth that love isn't sitting around a corner, but has arrived.

"I need time" does and always will mean one of several things:

I'm not sure.

This may not work for me.

I need more convincing.

Probably not, but I'll buy time for the temporary high.

I am enjoying this so much that making a commitment just doesn't seem right..

I don't believe that convincing and "negotiations" have a place in living the fullness of true love.

Whatever you decide, based on the woman you've shown yourself to be, the choice will come from a place of honesty, sincerity, truth, and love.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Dearest Lovebabz,

We are soooo walking the same path! I fell for a great man who does not have the 'capability' for what I want. It is difficult to make the decision to walk away because being with him was wonderful for me.

Once again, we are living parallel journeys and helping each other along.


CareyCarey said...

I love listen to the opinions of woman and how they differ from that of men.

I am like Big Mark, love happens when acceptance and a willingness to get there is the focus.

Sure, we can't ever make a person love us but putting a time stamp on "showing enough love" is a slippery and somewhat selfish decision.

Like you, Lovebabz, I've felt the sting of being locked up. I've come to believe that I may never find the perfect match because I have to realize that although I have an image of myself, in all likelyhood it will never match the image others have of me, including lovers. By that I mean my struggled has forged a man that looks at everything with a discerning eye. It's obvious that you are a thinker and sometimes deep thinkers give off vibes other than "love me baby, cause I want to love you back".

I think it's safe to say men are different than women. Yes, there's no time stamp on love and there's no gaurantee it will ever happen if we look for it in the wrong places.

My 2 cents.

Hey, a little plug for a women poet from Austrailia. Come by and read a little of her work "guest blog"

Single Mama NYC said...

"I am not interested in the potential for love." Woah Nellie, can I relate! It's what made me give up, at 2 and a half months pregnant, and at 33 years of age, on a love that I had held onto the potential of since I was 14 years old. No more of that for me. Ever.

Whatever you decide, it will be the best decision for your highest good; of that I am sure.

Angie-Nuvision said...

Hey Babz!
I always enjoy your writing. So honest, emotional, and beautiful!

Princess Tinybutt said...

i'm with 'her side' on this one...
sounds like a slippery slope, so be careful.

love u