Listening to Patricia Barber...Late Afternoon And You. It's 1:00 am. I am up drinking my favorite Merlot and listening to jazz as the rain dances outside my window. This is definitely making love time. There is something about the force and pounding of rain that immediately puts me in the mood for la amour...
I like thinking that someday I will have a lover. I am not pressed by it. Nor am I anxious. Not like I was this past summer. This past summer I was thinking that if I took a lover then that alone would put some distance between me and my marriage. It does not. Or better still, I can't say really, since I have not made love to another man since my soon-to-be Ex.
So I think of other things. I am happy to think of other things. I do not want a casual liaison. When I do share this body with another soul it will be because I want to... because they are special. I am clear about that. I have to be in love. I HAVE TO BE IN LOVE. And I am not pressed or daunted by not having that right now. I am convinced that I shall.
So this midnight hour I am listening to Jazz and sipping my favorite wine and listening to music that stirs my soul...how divine. The rain is whispering...you shall have what you want...you shall get what you need.
That sits well with me. It is very true as I know my truth to be. I can feel the successes in love and life and living and growing around me for me.