Last year this time I was serving day 2 of my federal prison sentence. I do not intend to spend anymore time on this. But I did want to lay out for myself the contrast of what this October looks like in comparison to last October. This February 2008 post still resonates with me and is probably more appropriate today than in February.
Today I am happy. I am in good spirits and I am in love with this life. I am surrounded with loving and caring people. I am moving forward with a full heart and a loving spirit.
REPOST from Thursday, February 21, 2008
REMEMBERING DANBURY
I have not talked a great deal about serving time at the Danbury Federal Prison Camp. Not because I am ashamed or find it upsetting. Quite the contrary. I am not ashamed to have served there. I am over that. There is nothing I can do about the past. And what is the past anyway, but memories in your mind. I haven't talked about it because I wanted to create a real space for it. To give it respect. To honor that time. No I am not holding it up as a thing of pride, but as an experience that has shaped my rethinking about my life, how I choose to come to love and community and GOD.
From an outsider's perspective 30 days...actually 29 days is not a huge amount of time. For me it was an eternity. I still think I can't really share my experience here in the way that I need to. Perhaps I will dedicate a series of posts or perhaps some other outlet for its release, or maybe not.
My life when laid out is big. It is grand and sweeping and full of lots of different kinds of experiences and people. I have done a lot, seen a lot, been a lot of different things and I am still evolving into the woman I am destined to become. I am getting out of my own way...OK most days I am getting out of my own way and letting the spirit of God move me forward. I am acutely aware of that. I am opening myself up to new experiences and new people that will only add positively to my evolution. Danbury does not loom large over my existence, but it does have its place. The women I met while there were some of the most gracious and caring women I have ever met. I think of them often and I hold them in my prayers. I know they are thinking of me from time to time...I can feel their spirit wishing me well.
I am fearless and forever prayerful and exceedingly hopeful about the world and my place in it. I recognize the grace of my life and the love that surrounds me. I am living in the right now and I am loving it.
Happy 39th Birthday to My Blog Sister Sista GP
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
9 months ago
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5 comments:
Your healthy perspective on life is inspiring. Thanks for sharing it with us.
:)
Zellmer,
Thank you. The jury may still be out on healthy. I am setting my course and going wherever this life takes me.
LB: You know that you are at the very vanguard of the political debate in America with posts like this, right? There are no end of perfectly well-meaning liberal blogs that will discuss Iraq and abortion until the cows come home but dare NEVER discuss this.
No one will confront the abomination that is "the justice system" in the USA. No one. There is no love for you if you do FROM ANYBODY. Americans like punishment and consider not getting caught lying to be the same as telling the truth. That's across the political spectrum.
I have an extremely close friend who served 6 months on the Men's side of the same correctional institution. He is a very private person and doesn't discuss his views on this openly because he was in his time somewhat of a public figure. When it looked like his child was an school age athlete with possibly professional promise, he feared that USA Today or something would embarrass his child, his wife and his the rest of his family over his minute violation of federal regulation without material cost to anyone. Scapegoats were needed. He had broken the law. He admitted guilt and served his time without hassle or beef.
In every other Western nation, both your infraction and his would fall under the umbrellas of perhaps "trade association violation," "ordinary negligence," or "human error," and would carry no custodial penalty, merely a fine, a warning, and neither of you would have lost your jobs.
But America is DIFFERENT. The meme of "Country Club Prisons" plays very well to the disenfranchised. The meme "Pell Grants" and "libraries" play very well to the White Christian middle-class.
There is no political advantage for anyone with a desire to rationalize the US system of "justice" either on moral or economic grounds.
Lovebabz, you are the only big-time blogger carrying the flag on this from your perspective.
I salute you.
Do you know what this makes me think of? When I saw you on the panel at BlogHer, I had walked in that room with a lot of trepidation. I knew that there were a few people in the area who were not happy to see me. I braced myself and sat as close to my friend, Kiki as possible. I hear other people's stories that day, but you really resonated because you are so honestly, unapologetically, and fiercely real. I felt like I had something to say to you just as you had something to say to us all. And afterward, as I told you you would make it and that I knew it because so much of your life smacked familiar to me, I knew you knew it, too. Keep going, honey. I honor where you've been and where you are today.
it is "our" anniversery. i began following you that october.
you amaze, educate, uplift, and inspire me sister. and i thank and love you.
MY WORRIOR QUEEN!!!
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