Tuesday, October 7, 2008


I have learned in loveships, to yield will go a long way in keeping and maintaining harmony. Sometimes to surrender is far more superior than charging up the hill into battle. It has taken me a decade to understand this. I do not have to be right. Oh I am still learning this lesson. I am learning it with folks in my life at this very moment. What does it mater to me to argue a point because I can't stand to be wrong? I can stand to be wrong. I am often wrong. I do not have all the answers.

There is a difference in being vulnerable and being stupid. Being vulnerable is an opening of oneself to another in a way that says I welcome you in my heart. To be stupid is to let someone do you any kind of way and you take it. I have long since given up on being stuck on stupid.

To yield in loveships means that you learn to pause. That you think what is important to you in the heated moments, the tense moments, the point of no return moments. The moments before you say the unthinkable and hurtful things.

Love does not mean that there will never be tough moments, or feelings won't get hurt and tears are flowing. Love does exist in the difficult moments. It is the difficult moments when we most need to remember that love is binding and comforting and healing and sustaining. I say yield. Not give in, or give up. But pause and take a breath. Take stock and see if it is your ego that is hurt. I am NOT suggesting take any abuse on any terms. What I am talking about are those moments when we are at odds with our lovers, partners and spouses. No relationship can exist without a differing of opinion on occasion.

To yield takes a great deal of courage and strength to step back and allow the dust to settle. To hold ourselves in check. Not trying to be right, but happy.


Monique said...

For what I'm going through, this post is right on point. I'm yielding to stressing myself out about the mess and that my son's father is putting me through.

Lovebabz said...

You cannot control what "he" does, but you certainly can handle how "YOU" respond or not. Some attention---negative or positive---is still attention.

Don't give him any attention...negative or positive. Just keep your focus on your child and what the child needs.

clnmike said...

Well said, letting go and moving on is hard to do.

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Hey Sistah!

You said it all in your first sentence!!!! Takes maturity to know when and how to yield....but definitely worth in the end!

the prisoner's wife said...

girl...you are SO true. it is me to ALWAYS want to be right. i was JUST about to get into an argument with a co-worker today because i knew (lol) i was right & he was yackin that BS. *relax, relate, release* i think my ability to yield has grown over time. my tongue has become a little (just a tad bit) sharp, and a little more focused.

the prisoner's wife said...

hmm...my tongue is a little LESS sharp.

see, even my fingers are having a hard time with that revelation lol