Everything in my life brings me to this moment. It is no accident that I am on this path at this time in my life. There is path that I am making with every step. It is not the road less traveled, however it is a road uniquely my own. There is transitioning in my life. I can feel it. The signs are there. The gift of divine guidance is present. And I am receiving the message.
This is the question: Are You Who The Person You Are Looking For Is Looking For?
The last 2 years has shown me that I have (more) work to do. I am not relationship ready no matter how much I wax poetic about a loveship. I am not prepared. I do not have enough to offer. This is not a beat down analysis. This is naked truth. I wouldn't choose me. I am not being mean. I am not being self-defeating. I am growing. And in growth there has to be truth telling.
For the next year, I am going to stop dating. Be celibate. I am going to get my financial house in order. I am going to get my physical health in order. I am going to embrace my faith more fully. I am going to break bad habits ALL OF THEM! I am going to immerse myself in tools and books that support this thinking. I am going to learn all that I can about me. I will revisit my Love List and become all that I say I want.
I am moving away from the fairy tale mindset of if I meet the right person then everything will be alright. It won't if you are not prepared and ready. To live happily ever-after means being a woman handling her business. I must be my very best self and exhibit qualities that I want to see in someone. What I want I must become. You attract what you are. Who you are with reflects your state of mind.
Now that I know this. I must be about the business of becoming myself. I can no longer just accept whatever comes my way. I must become and exhibit the qualities I say I want in a soul mate. In order to do that I gotta tell the truth about my life and truth telling means, stop ignoring what needs to be done and hoping someone will come along to fix it. And I have to quit hoping they don't notice all the mess and just love me as is. Well that is a tall order and lazy. There aren't too many places in life where that would be acceptable. So why am I inviting someone to accept that and then get upset when they won't. I wouldn't accept it.
A year is just the right amount of time to give myself back to myself. So when I ask this question Am I who the person I am looking for is looking for on 5/27/12 I can say YES!