We do not trust that real love exists. We settle for what looks like love and we make do. We tell ourselves this is good...everyone comes with mess and this is the mess I am choosing to stick with. We do so much heavy lifting in relationships that give us so little happiness and joy that we almost believe we are happy and joyous in them. We accept, tolerate and even support being given so little. You deserve more than just a little.
Some of us can't face the notion of being alone or on the search for a new love. So we patch up what we have and keep it moving. We tell ourselves all I can change is me. And yet we don't, because if we did we wouldn't waste our time with mess. Why do we want so little from someone? Why don't we ask boldly and grandly for love that is larger than life. Love that takes your breath away everyday! And why do we accept someone else's opinions on what love is for us.
I just spent two years with a man who is beautiful and lovely but so not in harmony with my spirit. He constantly was telling me I should do xyz, or that my thinking wasn't right, or that I need to ask more questions. He was exhausting. And yes, I miss him, but I am glad that he is gone. Perhaps he will become more mellow and less critical. Perhaps he will become more joyous and light-hearted. Perhaps I will become more serious, more focused, more disciplined. Or maybe not. I do know what love is and there is no settling for anything less than amazing. I want more than just a little...I want the whole damn thing!
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
9 months ago
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5 comments:
Dearest Blog Sis you are speaking to my spirit today. I have spoken those words to one my dearest friends who is struggling with the same thing. Why oh WHY do we settle for things when we KNOW we don't need them? Whew honey! That work on 'self' is a LOT OF WORK but when you get around to it and you do it right so many great things are exposed to you.
Keep on that path...it will come to you.
(((HUGS)))
Dearest KayC,
I am on the path! Sometimes there's a detour, sometimes there's construction, but I am always on it!
Wow!!!! Ummm you are peaking into my life right now. I still can't believe all of the convincing and settling I have been doing to duct tape my last relationship together.
I've been lurking for awhile but I appreciate your journey and sharing your words.
I like where you are coming from, Babz. One of the reasons that I have decided to bow out of the field is due to potential partners lack of belief that 'this' could be real love. Not that you have to go into convinced of real love but you have to, absolutely have to be open to the possiblity...
I still want to be charming, romantic and sweet with the new Ms. What's Happenin'... but the last few canidates have been decidedly anti- open to love and romance. Without those elements, what else is there?
Anywho, be well..!
amen, amen, amen!
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