We do not trust that real love exists. We settle for what looks like love and we make do. We tell ourselves this is good...everyone comes with mess and this is the mess I am choosing to stick with. We do so much heavy lifting in relationships that give us so little happiness and joy that we almost believe we are happy and joyous in them. We accept, tolerate and even support being given so little. You deserve more than just a little.
Some of us can't face the notion of being alone or on the search for a new love. So we patch up what we have and keep it moving. We tell ourselves all I can change is me. And yet we don't, because if we did we wouldn't waste our time with mess. Why do we want so little from someone? Why don't we ask boldly and grandly for love that is larger than life. Love that takes your breath away everyday! And why do we accept someone else's opinions on what love is for us.
I just spent two years with a man who is beautiful and lovely but so not in harmony with my spirit. He constantly was telling me I should do xyz, or that my thinking wasn't right, or that I need to ask more questions. He was exhausting. And yes, I miss him, but I am glad that he is gone. Perhaps he will become more mellow and less critical. Perhaps he will become more joyous and light-hearted. Perhaps I will become more serious, more focused, more disciplined. Or maybe not. I do know what love is and there is no settling for anything less than amazing. I want more than just a little...I want the whole damn thing!