Friday, September 18, 2009


I am standing in that place of un-motivation and undisciplined. All I have to do to move forward is to change my mind. Yet I haven't changed my mind! I am standing in a space that I thought I have long since let go of. Old wounds are haunting me and I am feeling almost afraid. I have to believe that I am on the verge of jumping to the next level. The next level that will bring me to my heart's desires.

Once again I am in my way. I am in my way as an old habit. As a self preservation mechanism that used to serve me well. I have realized I am not being served well by my self protecting tools. You cannot get to higher ground if you are not willing to climb. In my heart of hearts I am willing to climb. What is needed is to change my mind and get on with climbing. I have to step up and out on faith and believe that I have all that I need to live the life of my dreams.

I have come far. I have survived a great deal. I have overcome things that were seemingly insurmountable. I know how to move forward. I don't think I am stuck as much as I am hesitant.

Asking the question: Who are you? and what do you want?

This is my make or break mode. I am whispering my mantra... In God's care all things are possible.


Solomon said...

This sounds like just a little bump in the road. I say let go of all those old behaviors and move forward.

I know you can do it! I hope you have a wonderful weekend as you are moving forward and letting go. You have come so far. There is no need to be hesitant any longer.

Anonymous said...

OMG..this POST was right on time for what I've been feeling. In case you didn't know I recenty moved to California with attempts to start over ...I've been job hunting and nothing is coming up! I've been contemplating going back home which is stupid because I left for all the right reasons. It's like I stepped out of the boat saw all the water and lost focus! I hope all is well my darling. Thanks for the post!