There are a great many things that bring me pleasure in this life. My children, my new found friendships and love of old friends.
He connects me back to my roots, my formative years. At our core we are the same as when we were 16, 17 years old. Yes, the world has shaped Us...changed Us. We have spent a great many years apart. Yes, we see things from different view points. For me this is lovely, it opens up the world in a different way. For him I suspect it means we are not in sync. We are in the same ballpark but not on the same team. To me this is not a deficit or a problem. I like differing viewpoints.
So what to do and what happens next? Do we press on or do we say friendship withstanding, a loveship is near impossible. I do know that our friendship is the foundation on which this love is built. The friendship is grace. It allows us to be present in each other's lives without introduction or awkward interactions.
We are mis-communicating at the moment. It is not a problem for me. As I see it, we are fine tuning our rhythms...learning each other's signals. I suspect he sees it as signs and indications of way more work to be done to strengthen the connection and quite possibly insurmountable. We are in a holding pattern...not really moving forward but not letting go either.
There is real love here. Real deep and abiding love. There is a risk that it could be lost. Not the friendship, that remains forever and a day strong! The losing of the loveship could come because we could shrug our shoulders and become unwilling to press on. To go a step (even) further than the day before.
I do not have the "right" answers. I only know that I come to this with all my insecurities, shortcoming and frailties. I do know that I have a great capacity for love. I do know that my willing spirit has served me in moments of great despair and hardship. I do know that I am willing to break down all my barriers and walls to let him in.
Our friendship is the lifeline that keeps us connected. This loveship is steeped in history and memory that affords us the opportunity to re-connect and thrive. Love will flourish if we take a step (even) further.
The Love Story continues...