Today is another 24 hours I got as a gift.
Yesterday was daunting because I went into the weekend knowing I had to go and file an appearance for my Divorce. I carried that hurt with me all weekend. I had my first conversation with a divorce attorney on Friday. So by the time Monday rolled around my spirit was depleted and I couldn't figure it out. It just felt like the whole world was sitting on my head! I could feel myself losing sight of all my gains...blessings. I easily forgot how far I have come and all the cool stuff coming up for me.
GOD is still speaking. GOD was speaking yesterday and I couldn't hear because I was listening with the ears of the world and not the ears of my heart and soul. I let the world tell me who I should be rather than reveling in who I am. This body houses my spirit and my spirit is grand and kind and loving. This life is the most perfect gift. How could I have forgotten that?
For me everything is personal. I wear my heart on my sleeve all day, all night, all the time. I do not apologize for that. I cannot go back to building walls to protect me from being hurt. I will not go back to shrugging off my feelings. I will not go back to running from me. I will get hurt. I will get knocked down, I will cry and cry so more. I will always get up and move forward.
The blessing is my ability to turn things around. I can turn things around simply by changing my mind and remembering who I am. There is beauty in me, in my spirit, in my soul. It is not a beauty for all to see and embrace, but a beauty for the few who see me as I am. The love in me. The world is welcome to see my beauty, but I know that few will notice and gravitate toward me. Those in your life reflect your life and that makes me so very happy. Because as I look over my life now, and see and admire all the lovely beings in it, I am overjoyed! This is what it's supposed to be. So the sadness this weekend is really the ending of another chapter in this big life. I race forward to a new chapter more suited to the woman I am becoming.
Sure there will be more days like yesterday...I am sure of it. There will be days when the world will be louder than my own heartbeat. And there will also be days of tremendous joy and that is what I carry in my spirit.
I can turn things around...I already have.