Today is another 24 hours I got as a gift.
Yesterday was daunting because I went into the weekend knowing I had to go and file an appearance for my Divorce. I carried that hurt with me all weekend. I had my first conversation with a divorce attorney on Friday. So by the time Monday rolled around my spirit was depleted and I couldn't figure it out. It just felt like the whole world was sitting on my head! I could feel myself losing sight of all my gains...blessings. I easily forgot how far I have come and all the cool stuff coming up for me.
GOD is still speaking. GOD was speaking yesterday and I couldn't hear because I was listening with the ears of the world and not the ears of my heart and soul. I let the world tell me who I should be rather than reveling in who I am. This body houses my spirit and my spirit is grand and kind and loving. This life is the most perfect gift. How could I have forgotten that?
For me everything is personal. I wear my heart on my sleeve all day, all night, all the time. I do not apologize for that. I cannot go back to building walls to protect me from being hurt. I will not go back to shrugging off my feelings. I will not go back to running from me. I will get hurt. I will get knocked down, I will cry and cry so more. I will always get up and move forward.
The blessing is my ability to turn things around. I can turn things around simply by changing my mind and remembering who I am. There is beauty in me, in my spirit, in my soul. It is not a beauty for all to see and embrace, but a beauty for the few who see me as I am. The love in me. The world is welcome to see my beauty, but I know that few will notice and gravitate toward me. Those in your life reflect your life and that makes me so very happy. Because as I look over my life now, and see and admire all the lovely beings in it, I am overjoyed! This is what it's supposed to be. So the sadness this weekend is really the ending of another chapter in this big life. I race forward to a new chapter more suited to the woman I am becoming.
Sure there will be more days like yesterday...I am sure of it. There will be days when the world will be louder than my own heartbeat. And there will also be days of tremendous joy and that is what I carry in my spirit.
I can turn things around...I already have.
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
9 months ago
Posts
22 comments:
Glad you are moving out of your funk. Pity parties are the worst, but sometimes necessary.
Hey Fitzgerald,
The trick is not to wallow for long periods of time. Yesterday came and went...today is fresh!
I think you hit the nail on the head there. Allowing ourselves to be sad is fine, because some things ARE sad. Only through sadness can we truly appreciate happiness. But as you say, the important thing is not to wallow.
Hell May-Bee,
I was wondering about you. How are you these days?
Great post.
this aint nothing, not to mention ub strong folk
Hey Sister Monique,
Thank you.
Torrance,
I appreciate your vote of confidence. Yes indeed I am strong.
So, I have been lurking...and I read you soemtimes and I smile.
I feel so jaded when I read you...that's not such a bad thing either...means I have to turn those thoughts around.
Blah Blah Blah,
How nice of you to drop in and post!
Do not feel jaded. We all have our paths.
i am currently reading dr wayne dyer's book the power of intention and the chapter i read last night before going to bed spoke to that feeling of quite directly.
he reminded us to look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we love ourselves daily, thru the pain the quagmire and the muck..
and to remember that even in the most painful times that we are connected to the source.
you my dear are connected to the source, indelibly apart of the divine and the divine is apart of you...
lean into that knowledge and know that you have a silent partner in that game...the almighty.
Dearest AJ,
You are so right. I am connected and in tune. There are days when we loose our footing and forget.
All is as it should be.
Amen and all praises due to the most high sister! You will. You are a survivor and a giver of peace...your loves spreads like a wildfire up in this joint...remember that you are loved and deserving of that same love!
From the Holy Spirit through my Dad, "None of this matters (looking around the room), what matters is what is inside. Inside we all are beautiful."
MizR
Thank you kindly! How was your trip to Mississippi!
Sista GP or better...Sister Cuz...
Yes it is a challnege to remember that. Your Father is absolutely RIGHT! We are all beautiful inside and out!
Like you, I too have high self esteem; but on occasion it takes a short vacation ;)
Not only are you strong, but you are loved AND YOU ARE LOVE! So just remember this...THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN YOU :)
Love you much, around the world and back again!
This is a beautiful post. You really did turn it all around! ; )
Hey Twin...Sister Sharon!
Love you like the earth goes round the sun!
Hey Anali,
Yes, that is the real blessing..not to dwell in the space of despair and hopelessness.
Sistah Babz - u know i been outta the lectronic loop - but u always in my heart! i read & absorbed all of your posts - but am only commenting on this one:
1) so glad our paths have crossed!
2) glad u prompted me to join u on the PussyChats adventure!
3) The joy & pain of maturity = learning to EMBRACE ALL OF IT! Relish in the JOYS! FEEL THE PAIN - it reminds u that U r STILL ALIVE & WELL! When u lose the feelings in your limbs that's usually a sign that they'll be cut off/removed... STAY BLESSED, SIS!! Life is grand & so are WE! ;-)
Sending cyber Hugz!
Dear Blog World:
I LOVE Capcity! Her presence in my life is by divine design!
Thank you for the encouragement. I am truly grateful for it!
Living Naturally
Rejoice,
that things are as they are,
on a cyclical trip
through time and space,
continuously composing
and decomposing,
returning to Source,
Pause,
to remember serenity and peace
await on the other side
of tension and strife,
as you cooperate
with the all-creating power
flowing through you,
Follow the Way,
and become one with it,
an unforced goodness
enfolding in you,
naturally.
Gordon Neumann
8/29/2007
Sometimes it just is what it is...
Hey now.
Hi Monica,
Thanks for this piece by Gordon Neumann. It certainly does capture the moment beautifully.
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