Let me just say someone emailed me this question: Why Someone Wouldn't Want to Marry Me. I thought a post would answer it...yes it is whinny...thanks Tony OH!
As I am contemplating dating again. I am thinking about what that will mean. How much dating will I do and what would be the point? I am not being pessimistic. I am a romantic optimist by nature and by choice.
In my 20's I loved dating. I loved having the numbers of different men and having their attention. I loved hitting the clubs and hanging out from time to time. In my 30's I was happily married and committed to one man. For more than a decade I was in a monogamous marriage. So here I am at 45 contemplating what I will do to meet men and date.
I can't imagine having a string of lovers. I can't imagine going from man to man trying them on to see who fits. And NO ONE gets access to my kids. And my kids, what in the world do I tell them? They have already been hinting that I might date. They are interested in knowing who I will kiss! Way too many Disney movies! LOL!
I am not sure men would find me appealing. Certainly not appealing enough to marry me. I mean here is who I am today:
I am too much of a homebody. I am no longer a party girl. My pleasures are different. I love being at home. I love tinkering with crafts. I love hanging with my kids. I am polite. I will call when I say I am going to call. I am rediscovering the joys of cooking fabulous meals. I love family. I like independent films. I can take care of myself. I love black & white films. I love jazz. I am not interested in being in a harem. I love honesty and truth---even if it hurts. I want and value kindness over ability to take me out to dinner. I like simple presents. I give simple presents. I have a fat tummy and fat thighs...I am no model! I like fine linen on my bed. I love nice things around the house. I love fresh cut flowers. I have friends who mean everything to me...that includes men who I have never ever slept with. I have 4 beautiful kids who do not need a father--but could benefit from another strong man who cares and loves them! Doesn't mind magazines, books and journals in the bed. Respects my quiet time. Is not threatened if I want to check a film or have dinner and cocktails with friends, even if those friends include men---who I have never slept with and do not intend to sleep with. I am a loyal woman and do not have patience for men who aren't. I am a fool for Christmas, Valentines' Day and my birthday.
I am going to date. And I am going to date for fun and without pressure. I am going to be open to new love and I do not plan on sleeping around no matter how horny I get! LOL!
Yeah no one is going to marry a woman like me...LOL!