I get it. I get to decide who I want to be. I get to decide how I feel about me. I get to decide how I feel about everything. Regardless of what is written about me, it is not my truth. It is merely someone's interpretation of who they think I am. And I do not have to accept it. I do not have to give energy to it and I do not have to try to change their mind about who I am. To get to this stage and thinking is quite liberating. Don't get me wrong I am new to this and and each day I grow more and more into myself. I am not going to get stuck on being labeled a felon. I am not going to get stuck on the fact that I committed a crime, lied about it and tried to cover it up. The facts are this, I am going to prison for it, I am making restitution for it, I am losing my home, I have lost a few friends and still, I GET TO DECIDE WHO I WANT TO BE. I am not wearing anybody's judgement of me. I am not accepting poor treatment from anybody because they think I am dirt, I am not going to beat myself up over this anymore. I am putting away my boxing gloves, whipping stick and broken glass. I am done with self imprisonment, I am done with trying to prove to people that I am sorry, that I am remorseful. I am taking back my life and my dreams. I am deciding who I want to be and that starts today.
Prayers to all the families who lost loved ones on September 11.