Tuesday, September 18, 2007
TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: BEING STILL
Each action and choice, each decision I made brought me to NOW. My first instinct is to strike out against the tide. I wanted to try to change the outcomes by doing something. I wanted to change everything by doing anything. I worried myself sick trying to analyze my way out of my mess. But here comes the grace: I sat still and let the hand of God move me forward. There is grace and divinity in being still. Not spending time trying to figure out every angle, trying to lobby God through prayer. Using prayer as a bargaining tool rather than a tool to center one's self. I learned to be still, to let go and let God. Being still does not mean doing nothing. It doesn't mean allowing your life to spiral out of control. Being still is not being inactive. For me, being still, quieting my mind and tuning out the world's chatter is about turning up the volume to hear God's whisper. Worrying is exhausting and draining and it accomplishes nothing. I caught myself still worrying about this house and I had to force myself back into reminding myself that losing the house is small. And that I will be OK. I am back to being still and that is priceless.