When do you know you are ready to be in a relationship with someone that will lead to commitment and marriage? How much of your baggage must you have already unpacked before you can happily join your luggage with someone else? Aren't we all in various states of dysfunction, heartbreak and moving on? I am not being cynical. I am not sure I will have exorcised all my demons by the time I say YES to someone in marriage again. I am not sure that all my angst will be wiped away, chased away or simply put to rest. I know all my fears will not be buried. I am a woman in transition. That means that on a daily basis I have to overcome something...a fear...an insecurity...an injustice real or imagined. Love, like parenting, doesn't require you to get it absolutely right. You have to be willing to go the distance. There is no striving for perfection. Only striving to be better people and to remain in love. Love only asks that you welcome it and share it.
I had thought that if I became a better me then and only then would I be ready for a loveship. I am already a better me today. Who knows what sort of person I'll be tomorrow. All I know today is that I am as good as it gets. That alone makes me smile. I think we create for ourselves these impossible standards that trap us and trip us up. I may not be ready or I might be at my absolute best. The only one who can say for sure is me.
What I am coming to realize is we are who we are right now. And what is in front of us at this moment is our gift...even if we don't recognize the gift. There is no better time to be in love, or in relationship. What is needed always comes. Make no mistake, I am not giving myself permission to do nothing. I have to work at this life everyday. It is I who must find and share the love. It is I who must celebrate my breath. The gifts that are before me, were meant for me in this moment.
I am more ready that I realize. Always asking the question: Who are you? and what do you want?