Everything good and bad going on in my life now and 20 years ago is reflected in my body. I am carrying every good time, every celebration, every happy event, everything wonderful. I am also carrying every heartache, every injustice, every abuse, every childhood wound, every lost opportunity, every fight, every-falling-out-with-someone, every annoyance, every depressed feeling(s), every fear.
I am tired of carrying all this weight...good and bad. It is time to break out and let go. Say goodbye to this weight. Seriously let this armor go. Put it away, lose it. I am tired of trying to cover this body, hiding it under tents, big shirts and swing jackets. I am tired of not looking at myself in the mirror for long periods of time. I look at my face, but only glance at the rest of me.
I want to push this body to see what it can do. I want to reverse the clock and stave off diabetes. I want to see a thinner, healthier me. I want to wear yoga pants and not have to wear a long sweeping shirt to my knees! I want to rock garters again! I am not happy with this body. I love myself and I love who I am and who I am becoming. But I am not in love with this weight. I am overweight. I have been in this place before of starting a plan to lose this weight. I have started before with motivation and enthusiasm. I have been here before. (My Last Year Being Fat)(My Last Year Being Fat 2009)
What is different now is I am truly excited about losing this weight. I need to own my worth and be diligent in putting myself first on my list. I thought perhaps I would create a new blog to capture my progress. But I think once a week here...on Losing Weight Wednesday will be just enough sharing and celebrating my progress. I got a goal and a plan and come May 2, 2010 (my birthday) I will have reached one of my weight-loss goals!
Every Wednesday I am going to share where I am in my plan, spiritually, emotionally and physically....cue up the music (ooops I gotta find some theme music!)
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
10 months ago
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5 comments:
Good for you! Your post made me smile and I sooo needed to smile this morning.
Yes, you can do it. I gained over 20 pounds in my marriage and ironically am smaller now than I have ever been in life and it is not due to the gym. It's dance! I danced off all 20+ pounds and had a blast doing it.
Find something you love to do and it will love your body back ;-)
(((HUGS))
make sure you get a complete physical...I've gained weight over the years, yes, some was my armor but some I just couldn't explain...I eat well, exercise fairly regulary and just couldn't understand the extra extra weight...I stayed on the drs...they just kept telling me to eat right and exercise...I kept switching drs until someone listened to me...I finally went to an endocronologist...turns out I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)...I'm now on metformin and have lost about 9 pounds in the first month...along with dealing with the emotional stuff, getting more exercise and maintaining good eating habits I know that this weight will continue to roll off...
Right on, Babz!
i SO feel you on this. i'm OVER being the cute, thick thick girl. OVER IT! bravo on your new commitment to weight loss.
I am support you! You can do it. Just remember to set realistic goals..some that will give you immediate satisfaction and some that you will have to wait a spell or two before you reach your goal..
Can't wait for next wednesday
Kudos to you. I too feel your pain and frustration but you are addressing it in a healthy way. When confronted with cravings ask yourself which is sweeter, the food or the taste of success.
Also, many times we are not conscious. We operate like a robot. Try your best to stop and ask why you are reaching for food or not hitting the gym. There is an underlying reason. Mine is anxiety. I have identified it and am now addressing it.
I am proud of you and I hope you enjoy the journey with faith that the finish line is out there.
Your boy, DB
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