Monday, April 6, 2009

MY NEW ADVENTURE: PEACE. JOY. LOVE.

He: Babz you are dull.
Me. WHAT! Laugh. laugh. laugh. I've never been told that before...IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
He: what adventures have you had?
Me: Oh Baby....Laugh laugh laugh! You have no idea. Laugh laugh LAUGH!

This little exchange stayed with me all through yesterday and this morning. It cracks me up. Seriously it cracks me UP! I am always stunned at folks' perception. Or their so called reality as a barometer for defining my experiences. I make no apologies for being "emotional" I like feeling everything in the world. I like knowing that things get to me...bother me...hurt me. I am not jaded by the darkness of the world. I still see beauty and joy knowing full well that evil lurks. I know what pain and suffering is. I do not have to look to India, Africa, or Louisiana to know it and yet I can look there too and do.

I have lived an amazing life. I have done things that have been unbelievable. I loved in ways most dream of. I have been places that have taken my breath away. If I died today it will be with few regrets. But since I am not dying today or at least not in this very moment. I am thinking solely about living.

I have had my share of FAST. HARD. UGLY. My new adventure is the pursuit of Peace. Joy. Love. The real revolution won't be some gun toting mobs trying to steal my stuff...that may happen. But really, the revolution will be choosing to love one another instead. Calling every man and woman and child family. I don't know if killing someone is easy. I only know what I have done in my own life and those choices were in the moment necessary. But seeing each person as your family, seeing each person as your responsibility, that takes more courage and guts and heart than any act of violence. I do know that.

So perhaps I am a dull woman. The things that rush my heart these days are some new recipe. Or my kids learning some new thing. My friends coming by and sitting and talking while we enjoy a bottle of wine. My pleasures at this point in my life are simpler. I have re-invented myself more times than I can say. I only know that the woman emerging now is the best version of myself to date. And I love her.

(Yes the blog makeover is going strong narrowing my choices)

6 comments:

LadyLee said...

BABZ!!

That was excellent...

This part stuck out to me:

"... Or their so called reality as a barometer for defining my experiences."

Ain't that what it boils down to? People viewing you and your life through their own reality?

It ought not be so. Really. Because when we go so far as to make an effort to conform to someone else's reality, then that can be disastrous. I am convinced this is the root of where some of our bad decisions grow out of.

What gives me peace of mind may or may not be what gives you peace of mind. And vice versa. And that's a good thing.

No more conformation... Only transformation into a better YOU! Here's to you having and finding your peace, love, and joy!

Solomon said...

I hope you can find that peace, Joy, and Love.

I've been stuggling the last couple of days myself.

Seems like my life is sadness, depression, and wonder.

I can't seem to keep it together, and it is killing me.

Lovebabz said...

Dr. LadyLee,

You are so insightful..always! yes I am weary of folks putting their spin on my life and what I know. I stand where I am by my own grit and muscle. Nothing was handed to me. Everyhting I have was hard won. I ahve suffered unspeakable acts of violence and abuse and yet imy humanity remains. I have decided to see beauty where non exists.

Never conforming to SHIT!

Solomon,
We all have our crosses to bear. some heavier than others. There are days when I feel like I have no idea what the fuck is going to happen...but I am steadfast in my resolve to see what comes next.

Talking to a therapist is always a good deal. Why? because sometimes friends and loved ones don't see what you feel. Sometimes you gotta take your heart to someone who can help clear away the brush.

Don't let nothing kill you. Just reach for help...extend yourself a bit further and let the help out there guide you.

I know something about pain and despair. I have sat on the dark side of the moon more times than I care to say. I know what its like to be on the edge...finger on the trigger. But here's the deal. You have more control and power over shit than you realize. You may need some more light on the matter.

Give yourself permission to seek support.

((HUGS))

Princess Tinybutt said...

"... Or their so called reality as a barometer for defining my experiences."

ladylee is NO JOKE. never is.

conform to nothing....EVERY AGAIN.

be well :)

Sista GP said...

Hmmm... I wonder sarcastically who's comments triggered this post.

Lovebabz said...

Princess,

Dr. Lady Lee is a wise Sister! and we are transforming forward!

Sista GP,
Ha ha Ha,! You already know! LOL!