Sunday, April 19, 2009

SICKNESS IS A GIFT: AN EPIPHANY

Long before I was sick for the last several days, I was haunted by the Van Morrison song When Will I Ever Learn To Live In God? It is a deep calling inside me. I have felt the pull of the divine my entire life. I have come far in grace. Even when my world came crashing down around me and so-called friends were jumping ship and the winds of loss...change...pain...doom were upon me. I knew in my heart of hearts I was not alone or forsaken.

In the midst of being sick this past week it became clear to me that I must renew my focus of spiritual awakening. To live with a full heart. I must be kinder to myself and to my heart. Being sick was a gift. I had an epiphany. It gave me a chance to think about what was truly important. I am important and must act accordingly. I have not wasted time. I have learned some lessons about my time and how to tune out the external voices and to listen to my voice.

When Will I Ever Learn To Live in GOD? RIGHT NOW. I am ushering in a new commitment to development of self. To live with a full heart. To continue to be joyful in my day. To surround myself with those that only know love and are interested in love. To be kind to myself and my spirit. Life isn't short. It is long enough to love fully. You live long enough to love deeply, grandly and beautifully...that is the lesson. It isn't about time, it is about love and inviting love to take root.

When will I ever learn to live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?
Whatever it takes to fulfill his mission
That is the way we must go
But you've got to do it your own way
Tear down the old, bring up the new
....Van Morrison...

5 comments:

Solomon said...

Thanks for the positive message, I'm struggling today.

There's always tomorrow.

Aunt Jackie said...

commitment to love is always the order of the day!

Stephen Bess said...

Lord knows that we all struggle. As for Grace...we were saved by Grace. Thank God for Grace. I would be gone a long time ago. The bottom line is that He knows our hearts better than we do. There are times when I have felt completely unworthy of His Grace, but He remains forever faithful. Jesus is love and once we decide that we are going to follow Him He will begin to fill us with His love. After a time, we accumulate so much that there is an overflow that never depletes. Ain't He good? :)

Gkrew said...

You were able to turn a negative into a positive. Not many can do that and instead wallow in sadness of the situation and end up worse.

MsKnowitAll said...

I often feel like this when I feel under the weather. It's obviously a time for me to be kinder to myself, take better care of my body, my health and cut out all of the messes that keep me from living fully.