In June it will be a year since my first post. I had no idea what to expect on that maiden voyage. I just knew that I was trying to hold myself together with spit, paper clips and prayer. I was still married, my husband hadn't announced his departure yet. I was awaiting my turn up at bat for federal sentencing. I was at the end of my rope. The pain I was in was blinding. I was prepared to step into the place of no return. My finger was on the trigger and I swear...
It was in that moment I just decided that if I just changed my mind about the whole mess. And just meet God where I was, then perhaps I could make it through. Before I knew it I was blogging my life. I had no expectations. I just needed to get this pain out. I started visiting other blogs and commenting and really enjoying the stuff I was reading. Then the most amazing thing happened, people came by my blog and left the most beautiful and encouraging comments. I was shocked. I just knew that folks were going to nail me to the cross. It never happened. It was one prayer after another, one kind word after another. I never got the hate. All I ever got was love.
This healing blogging community has been incredible. It has been my lifeline and life jacket. It has been a great comfort. I know I could not have come this far on my own. I have no doubts about it. I would have been eulogized by now. So as I blog my life, I can share the joys as well as the pain. There is joy once again. I am smiling more, and laughing more and very optimistic about my future and my life. Yep, indeed there are still challenges ahead, and more hurdles to jump. I am steadfast in choosing love over fear.
1000 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
31. Be in a Production of The Vagina Monologues
32. Slow Dance in Central Park with Someone Special
33. Walk a Marathon
34. Go fishing
35. Do the Bull Running in Pamplona, Spain...yeah I know...crazy (smile)
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
9 months ago
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17 comments:
I so feel you on this post...it seems that it was almost 2 years ago that blogging in many ways became my savior as well, going through a painful divorce, moving into a new home, starting all over...yep, i feel ya on this...i am so grateful to folks like yourself, for your prayers an encouragement through it all...so today we can rejoice together sis!
Have a great day!
MizR,
It is an amazing thing to connect with folks who are far away, who you may never meet, but you develop strong feelings for and you cn feel the good vibrations. I could not have come as faras I have if it were not for this blogging community. My True Love Friends who are physically present in my life go hand-in-hand with you and the few other blogging Sister-friends and Brother-friends.
I am indeed having a great day! I wish the same for you too!
I feel you on the bloggingyourlife thing :), since I started my blog to give The Voices a place to vent. They were taking up too much space in my head. Since giving them "the floor", so to speak, my head is considerably quieter. So congrats :).
you must be a hopeless romantic
we share a kindred spirit
i bet your favorite movie is pride and prejudice
Praise God for an outlet and a community that provides love and support. He might not come when we want him to but he is ALWAYS right on time. Peace & Blessings
Hey There Bear Maiden!
I am with you there.
Hey James Tubman,
Not hopeless, but rather a romantic optimist! My Favorite is actually Sense & Sensibility...with Emma Thompson Directed by Ang Lee. Yes I believe we are kindred souls!
Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs
Amen!
creating your own reality is powerful
Yes, Torrance you are absolutely right!
I am creating my own reality and I LOVE IT!
Only via the blogworld... can a man living in the NYC befriend a woman reppin' New Haven! ROFL
Seriously, I don't dare imagine how different my life would be without my blog family!
Baby Got your back, don't trip...We family now :0) Luv ya' GurL!
K.O. Johnson,
New Haven is not on the other side of the galaxy for heaven's sake...LOL! It is a metro-north train ride from NYC 1 hour 30 minutes express, 2 hours 10 minute not express! I am glad for your presence! You are inspiring beyond words!
Oh Tony OH!
Yes we are family...sing along with Sister Sledge...we are family!
I loves you too!
I LOVED the Vagina Monologues!! I think we should do a BLOG version!!! Yea, I feel ya on the luv in blog-land;-)
Capcity,
You know if you build it they will come! I am IN! If you want to a blog version of The Vagina Monolgues I say let's DO IT!
Yes, Blogland is a healing place. Lurking was healing, to start...to read the experiences people have had and find the common ground. But joining in a more active role does so much more good! I've felt lower when I don't post and much more grounded and connected when I do...
I'm with you on choosing love and choosing Active Healing and forward movement rather than waiting for painful experiences to pass. You are creating a wonderful reality for yourself!
Hi Trish,
Before I sat down to do my first I had only heard of blogging maybe a month before. It really is an amazing thing to have millions of people creating their own realties in this blogland. Even if I don't post, I love wandering around and checking out new blog communities.
Happy anniversary (almost)! And very happy to be part of your blogging community. xo
i agree with everyone! this began as a way for me to just 'get it out'. and look what's happened!
we love you babz. we are all family.
and yes, pride and predjudice (the A&E/BBC version) IS my favorite movie, and i'm down too for doing a blog version of the VAGINA MONOLOGUES!!!
ptb
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