In June it will be a year since my first post. I had no idea what to expect on that maiden voyage. I just knew that I was trying to hold myself together with spit, paper clips and prayer. I was still married, my husband hadn't announced his departure yet. I was awaiting my turn up at bat for federal sentencing. I was at the end of my rope. The pain I was in was blinding. I was prepared to step into the place of no return. My finger was on the trigger and I swear...
It was in that moment I just decided that if I just changed my mind about the whole mess. And just meet God where I was, then perhaps I could make it through. Before I knew it I was blogging my life. I had no expectations. I just needed to get this pain out. I started visiting other blogs and commenting and really enjoying the stuff I was reading. Then the most amazing thing happened, people came by my blog and left the most beautiful and encouraging comments. I was shocked. I just knew that folks were going to nail me to the cross. It never happened. It was one prayer after another, one kind word after another. I never got the hate. All I ever got was love.
This healing blogging community has been incredible. It has been my lifeline and life jacket. It has been a great comfort. I know I could not have come this far on my own. I have no doubts about it. I would have been eulogized by now. So as I blog my life, I can share the joys as well as the pain. There is joy once again. I am smiling more, and laughing more and very optimistic about my future and my life. Yep, indeed there are still challenges ahead, and more hurdles to jump. I am steadfast in choosing love over fear.
1000 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
31. Be in a Production of The Vagina Monologues
32. Slow Dance in Central Park with Someone Special
33. Walk a Marathon
34. Go fishing
35. Do the Bull Running in Pamplona, Spain...yeah I know...crazy (smile)