Lately friends have been gently hinting that I ought to test the dating waters. See what is out there. (Sigh) I have not given this any real thought. Oh yes I have fantasized about mind-blowing sex or some chance encounter with a dream lover. But to actually think about dating someone and going out and having light conversation with someone with the possibility of a love connection...NO! I mean I am a good looking woman, winning smile, charming personality and a great sense of humor. I am sort of smart and sort of well-read and sort of intelligent. I believe I am a gem. However, in addition, I am a newly minted felon who is on home confinement until March 31, 2008 and then probation for 3 years. This is not an attractive attribute. I mean come on, I am not so sure I would date me. Now I am NOT posting this because I am in need of a confidence booster...OK maybe a little. But I do know that this is going to be a huge obstacle for someone to deal with. I have a lot of shit I am dealing with and who would want to get in bed with all that. (SIGH)
Yesterday I was over at Sojourner g who's poem Nil moved me to a place of longing. The poem is haunting and drags me to a place that I was not prepared to think about. So here I am thinking about life after marriage. Sex after marriage. And dreaming that I will be the object of someones desire that is so beautifully expressed in the poem Nil. (SIGH)
I know all is as it should be and "True Love" will find me...when it is time.