Friday, November 30, 2007

FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: FAITH TESTED/TESTING FAITH

Today I am still in my upbeat mood. I have been beating back the negative chatter like a Warrior Queen. Each time a negative thought tries to creep in, I immediately call it out and send it on it's way with a few curse words...yep I curse. This seems to be working. There is, however, in the back of my mind the thoughts of "sure I am doing well now but how well will I do when my faith is really tested" I can feel myself letting fear and indecision and discontent creep in. So far I am winning. But, and the "BUT" is really the negative chatter emissary, when the "BUT" shows up that is usually the first indication that the whole family of negative chatter is just behind it. Oh my faith is being tested and I am testing my faith. The thing about walking out on faith is that you have to keep your eyes to the heavens. You have to stay focused and you have to keep your balance. My strength lies in knowing this. Knowing that I recognize the negative chatter and stop it cold. Even when I want to give in and allow myself to accept the invitation to the pity-party and the woe-is-me cocktail hour, I can't. If I am messing around there, then I run the risk of missing my miracle. And I need and want and deserve my miracles. So, in this moment I am good and I am boldly making friends with GOD and I am assured that all is as it should be. I have great faith.

5 comments:

whatthef*ck said...

wow. great post about "the chatter". i call it, among other things, the committee of assholes who live in my head. once i started really tuning in to them i was amazed at what a big part of my existence they are. fuckers.

Lovebabz said...

I find this whole notion of negative chatter so life altering. How many times have we not trusted our positive voice and let the negative chatter hold us hostage. I am doing all I can to rise above it and move forward.
Thanks for coming by.

Eddie G. Griffin said...

I wish you well. I remember reading a book in prison about maintaining positive thoughts for seven straight days- and whenever a negative thought creeps in, to immediately cast it out. Your essay reminds me of this chapter of that book. You should expect challenges- for the trying of your faith works patience.

BottleBlonde said...

I once read a book by Emmet Fox. I don't remember the title, but in it he recommended saying 'God is with me' when one starts entertaining a negative thought. I've tried doing that, and it works ... but only when I do it. Sometimes I like entertaining negativity and I ignore God. And that, of course, is when I get into trouble.

Lovebabz said...

EgG & BB,

I do expect challenges--the last 4 years have been nothing but challenges--butr at every turn I met the challenge head on. I have realized that I get to hold the thoughts I want in my head and that they have direct bearing on the outcomes of my day and my life.