1. the act of closing or the state of being closed
2. an end or conclusion
3. something that closes or shuts, such as a cap or seal for a container
4. (Law / Parliamentary Procedure) (in a deliberative body) a procedure by which debate may be halted and an immediate vote taken See also cloture, guillotine, gag rule
5. Chiefly US
a. the resolution of a significant event or relationship in a person's life
b. a sense of contentment experienced after such a resolution
I have learned that "closure" is a myth in regards to relationships and folks who ask for it...seek it... are misguided souls in denial. There is no such thing as closure. There is only what you decide is the end of a thing. It could be the end of a marriage, a long-term relationship, a job, friendship. Closure is a myth!
We think we want closure because we can't accept the end of something so abruptly or without explanation. We think we need and want PROOF? As if behaviours aren't enough, as if we are blind and incapable of seeing what is presented. We act as though we don't know who we are and we need reassurance that we are not crazy.
Closure for some validates an affair or infidelity, for others it confirms what we already know to be true...we are not where we ought to be. Looking for "closure" keeps us trapped in an in unreality that does not serve us. I can't say that I ever needed closure. I knew that seeking "closure" was a trap, destined to keep you wondering and worrying about what if and never focused on the what is. People tell you who they are all the time, and we just refuse to see them or accept them. For example if you want to be in a relationship with someone and they have excuses why they can't based on their behavior, and you get it into your head that if they would just say they don't want a relationship somehow this will give you closure! Do you see how foolish that can be?. If you love someone who doesn't love you (love is a verb and you see that they are not returning your ardor) and you ask for "closure" you are a FOOL! It's not what we say it's what we do.
We all have been a FOOL! I have played the fool more times than I can say. Love requires you to play and be the FOOL. It's when you refuse to stop being the FOOL and you are seeking"closure" is a fool's game.
We have to understand what we want and what we are getting and what we need to satisfy our soul. Looking for closure might just be another way to run from our lives.. to not look at the what is.
I am meditating on this thought. I hope you will too and come come back and let me know your thoughts..