Sunday, March 8, 2009

MY LENTEN JOURNEY: LOVE NEED

If my beloved stood face to face to me and said plainly and clearly I love you, how would I feel? What would I do? And could I happily and confidently say it back? HHmmm....

Words and deeds are the evidence of love. When we want to express our feelings we act accordingly. Those who are courageous enough to give and take love, sing its joys to the heavens. The rest of the not-so-courageous sit longing for the moment when love will find them.

We put up so many barriers to love that it is a wonder that a beloved could get up close enough to sing out I LOVE YOU! So many of us say we want love but then we erect massive walls and mazes to keep love from getting in. We say he's too this or that or she is lacking this or that. We do it without even realizing that we are focusing on the topical, the esoteric, the benign. We never look at someone's heart and mind. We never pay attention to their intentions. We ignore the soul. I suspect we are missing out on love all the time. Yes, we want what we think we want and we ignore the pull of the need.

What do I need? This Lenten Journey is asking me to ask myself. You cannot create, art, life, love without asking what is needed. I believe what is needed will come, but I have to understand that need is divine. Not a weakness. Not a character flaw. Not an admission of not having enough. To need someone is to say that I am open to and welcome companionship, support and love on this life journey.

Creativity and spirituality meet not in some distant place, but here on earth with me and my beloved connected and in sync with ourselves and the love we create. Yes. Creating love born out of what is needed...desired and wanted.

It requires a different thought process around falling in love and being in love. It is intimacy without all the drama of sexual intercourse. We have learned to remove intimacy from sex. We have learned to remove love from sex. I am thinking I need to connect the two. This is where I need to go and think how this might work in this life. This is the point where I begin to be honest with my needs. There is something to this thought process. There is something calling me in this regard. It is a deep rooted need I suspect, to be truly connected to my beloved.

Illumination is good.

Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam.

9 comments:

Sista GP said...

Well said.

Sorry I've been missing your show, actually both shows. work has been mentally hectic in these last few weeks in addition to being more involved with niece's education.
I've tried to take a nap before Thurs. show, but have ended up sleeping through it.
hopefully soon I'll be back.

Solomon said...

I don't totally understand what you mean, but I am trying to remain open.

I have been having some difficult days also.

Lovebabz said...

Hey Sista GP,
You are missed :)

Solomon,
I am so glad you are trying to remain open. Me too!

I am looking at what my needs are versus what I want. What do I need in love. This really about discerning what I am doing for love. What do I need to create the love that I need & want.

It's a journey...a transitioning journey :)

Moanerplicity said...

Love IS a verb! I've stated that fact many times in my writing. LOVE IS A VERB! The question becomes are you verbal, are you spreading the verbiage? *smiles* Methinks in the ways that matter, you truly are, my Sista. I've seen evidence of it right here. May the verbiage continue.


BTW: It would be my honor to review your book. So hurry up & get tuh crackin!

SJ!

One.

Lin

Lovebabz said...

Lin,
You are SO RIGHT! Love is averb! Well I can say I am doing my best to be active in that regard. it is lovely to know you noticed my journey :)

Oh the book thing...(sigh) it takes courage to sit and write one's life. Hold me in your prayers and pray I find the courage ;)

Solomon said...

I can't wait for the book to come out Lovebabz. I'll be there for the book signing!

Mizrepresent said...

Oh yeah, i hear you Lovebabz, loud and clear. I was so in need of love that i projected it from the highest mountain tops to the lowest valleys, but inwardly knowing that projecting doesn't make it real. I said "i love you", but didnt' really know or feel the words that i uttered...i walked around in circles trying to understand myself and my need, only to come out and realize...i was faking it. I don't ever want to fake love...i know what real love is...and what it feels like and until i get it, i will hold it deep inside of me...until if feel it...i will savor the moments and the memories. No rush, i am, you are worth the wait.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Dearest Lovebabz,

I've been struggling with this "connection" on love myself. I say I am open to it and over the insecurities of my past, but when a loveship revealed a real possibility for me...doubt comes roaring in from the mountaintop.

I understand the need for connection and for a loveship that is easy, nice and enjoyable. Makes you wonder why doubt and fear always seems to wiggle their way in and crash the party?

Lovebabz said...

Solomon,
Thanks for the support! I have a long way to go!

Miz,
Youa re so right. No need to rush to anything. I am with you...holding out for the real thing.

Kay C,
Sometimes doubt can be good. It can help us be clear about where we are and what we are into. Maybe it's not doubt...or fear... Maybe because we know we can't go back to half truths and lies, and bullshit that our intuitive selves just sort of peaks out to keep us focused so that we don't lose our heads, hearts, souls to fools who do not deserve US!