If my beloved stood face to face to me and said plainly and clearly I love you, how would I feel? What would I do? And could I happily and confidently say it back? HHmmm....
Words and deeds are the evidence of love. When we want to express our feelings we act accordingly. Those who are courageous enough to give and take love, sing its joys to the heavens. The rest of the not-so-courageous sit longing for the moment when love will find them.
We put up so many barriers to love that it is a wonder that a beloved could get up close enough to sing out I LOVE YOU! So many of us say we want love but then we erect massive walls and mazes to keep love from getting in. We say he's too this or that or she is lacking this or that. We do it without even realizing that we are focusing on the topical, the esoteric, the benign. We never look at someone's heart and mind. We never pay attention to their intentions. We ignore the soul. I suspect we are missing out on love all the time. Yes, we want what we think we want and we ignore the pull of the need.
What do I need? This Lenten Journey is asking me to ask myself. You cannot create, art, life, love without asking what is needed. I believe what is needed will come, but I have to understand that need is divine. Not a weakness. Not a character flaw. Not an admission of not having enough. To need someone is to say that I am open to and welcome companionship, support and love on this life journey.
Creativity and spirituality meet not in some distant place, but here on earth with me and my beloved connected and in sync with ourselves and the love we create. Yes. Creating love born out of what is needed...desired and wanted.
It requires a different thought process around falling in love and being in love. It is intimacy without all the drama of sexual intercourse. We have learned to remove intimacy from sex. We have learned to remove love from sex. I am thinking I need to connect the two. This is where I need to go and think how this might work in this life. This is the point where I begin to be honest with my needs. There is something to this thought process. There is something calling me in this regard. It is a deep rooted need I suspect, to be truly connected to my beloved.
Illumination is good.
Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam.