Tuesday, January 29, 2008

TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: I AM GOOD ENOUGH AND I AM SHINNING ON

When someone walks out on you, leaves you in the lurch. Your first instinct is to think you must have done something. That you caused the rift, the shift in affection. I am guilty of that. When my estranged husband announced he was leaving weeks before I was scheduled for federal sentencing, I immediately owned all the reasons for his leaving. But now that the dust is settling and I am seeing the marriage as it really was. He was never good in crisis. He was never able to handle the lows, the tough times, change. As I look back on the 12 years, I was always holding it down. It was me doing the heavy lifting. He was never good in the pocket. I woke up at 4:00am this morning with this on my mind. The truth does set you free. I was in preparation to meet my destiny becoming the woman I am supposed to, then he had no choice but to leave. What else could he do? His history with me bears this out. I am a ride or die woman. There was no obstacle insurmountable to me. So today I have one more layer to let go of: I am shedding the guilt of not being good enough. I am good enough; not just for him, or anybody else but for me. I am good enough for me and I know that this new found confidence will add to the brightness of my light.

9 comments:

--Witchy-poo-- said...

Hey,

My husband left in October, turmoil in his wake. What a slam to my self-esteem, and to my three kids'. The kids aren't his biologically, but they had come to rely on him as a father-figure. There's been a lot to come to terms with, and we're still working on it. I have days when I feel strong, and those when I feel pretty much like s***. But it'll get better.

Best wishes,

Witchy

boggling.spaces.live.com

CapCity said...

U r Good Enough for The Creator U good enough for the rest of US (mere humans w/ all our issues!). Each morning I'm awakened I think: "Well, The Creator still thinks I've got some more for the world - so, lemme get AT it!" HUGZ2ya!!

Jennifer said...

When someone walks out on you, they are just making room for a man worthy of your gifts. When someone walks out on you, he does you a favor because he shows you who he REALLY is. When someone walks out on you, it hurts, BUT, if you do your work, you can see all of the gifts that you had been hiding and wasting over the years trying to make him stay. When someone walks out on you, cry, say goodbye and walk into the life you've been dreaming of.

Lovebabz said...

Thanks CapCity you are so right.

Jennifer, Thank you ever so much. I am going to print this out and post it on my bathroom mirror so everyday I will see it and be reminded of the life I am stepping into...the one of my dreams!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Yep it does nd u got the right to shine because its your nature, BTW i left u a comment, i hope e can agree to disagree

Lovebabz said...

Torrence,

There is only rich discussion. Nothing else is needed.

Sojourner G said...

You have finally been blessed with one of life's great truths. Congratulations on your evolution.

Lovebabz said...

Sojourner G,
As long as I am taking this spiritual walk and stepping into the life that I want as the woman I want to be, I believe I will be getting all of life's greatest lessons.

Smell Goods '98™ said...

"Love yourself", can be so surface. One does not know the true and deep definition of "Love yourself", until they really have to love themselves. You are doing that. I applaud you. Here's to more growth. Here's to making the way for future happiness, be it with someone special or just yourself.