Tuesday, January 29, 2008
TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: I AM GOOD ENOUGH AND I AM SHINNING ON
When someone walks out on you, leaves you in the lurch. Your first instinct is to think you must have done something. That you caused the rift, the shift in affection. I am guilty of that. When my estranged husband announced he was leaving weeks before I was scheduled for federal sentencing, I immediately owned all the reasons for his leaving. But now that the dust is settling and I am seeing the marriage as it really was. He was never good in crisis. He was never able to handle the lows, the tough times, change. As I look back on the 12 years, I was always holding it down. It was me doing the heavy lifting. He was never good in the pocket. I woke up at 4:00am this morning with this on my mind. The truth does set you free. I was in preparation to meet my destiny becoming the woman I am supposed to, then he had no choice but to leave. What else could he do? His history with me bears this out. I am a ride or die woman. There was no obstacle insurmountable to me. So today I have one more layer to let go of: I am shedding the guilt of not being good enough. I am good enough; not just for him, or anybody else but for me. I am good enough for me and I know that this new found confidence will add to the brightness of my light.